“She made me mean.”

She made me mean, David said. I didn’t understand what he meant at first.

Bethel had knocked over his tape measure (on purpose or accident, I know not) and David let loose with angry words. If he knew any swear words, he would probably have used them.

I’m not sure what I said, but at some point in the discussion, David said She made me mean. David knew he was unkind, but he blamed Bethel for his outburst. I wasn’t prepared for this line of thinking, so I just told him we’d talk about it later. Now, how to talk about this… I suppose talking about Adam and Eve might be a good start. Or even Jesus, who did not react when He was mistreated. People cannot choose how they are treated, but they can choose their reactions. Maybe the old tea bag illustration might be appropriate.

Perhaps it was the precise expression in child-like terms that struck me, but I suppose all blame-shifting (like he hit me too) involves an attempt to diffuse guilt. We probably don’t help matters when we use language like “What did Bethel do to make you angry?” Blame shifting reflects a false belief about sin that will hinder him from seeing his need for salvation.

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2 Responses to "“She made me mean.”"

  • Michelle, I’m enjoying your blog! Anyway, I was wondering if, in a situation like you describe, you could use Berg’s tea bag illustration as an object lesson to help David understand and assess his own comment–that is, have him get you a tea bag and put it in a cup you have filled with hot water. Explain that he is like the tea bag and that the hot water is the difficult situation that will reveal what is in the tea bag. Let him put the tea bag in and watch as the tea diffuses into the water while you explain the significance and symbolism of what he is seeing. Just a thought. . . .

    1 Lyn Marshall said this (March 28, 2007 at 8:54 am)


  • Lyn,
    I’ll try it and post on their response. What Bible passages do you think are relevant?

    Thanks for your comments!
    Michelle

    2 Michelle said this (March 28, 2007 at 9:00 am)


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Chronological Bible: ESV

Read the Bible chronologically. The first time I read through the Bible in the order everything happened, I learned so much and gained an incredible understanding of the big picture of Scripture. If you've never done it, you should!

Bible Gateway

From this website you can search for scriptures in a number of versions and languages by key words, phrases, or references. I use this website often when I post Scripture on my blog, so then I don't have to worry about typing in the verse accurately.

Treasury of Scripture Knowledge

This is a fantastic online version of a classic reference tool. Basically this is a list of cross references based on particular passages. Simply click on the verse or passage you are studying, and you will find other references to other relevant Scripture.

Bible Commentaries Online

A list of classic Bible commentaries. Sometimes they're hard to understand, but they can be helpful when you're wanting more insight into a passage you are studying.

More Bible Study Resources

This is a page of links for articles and audio on the topic of studying the Bible. Some are not easy to read, but they are helpful.
The rest of this website has a tremendous amount of resources that may be of interest.


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