Me-First Syndrome
August 2007
2 CommentsWhen this post was written: First child (D) was 4 yrs, 1 mo. Second child (B) was 2 yrs, 7 mo. Third child (L) was 0 yrs, 9 mo.
This morning, David and Bethel were at odds. As I was trying to sort out the problem, the situation, shall we say degenerated. I realized that part of the problem in this context (and now that I think of it, fairly often) was a desire to be first. One child was using the stool to get some water, and the other child wanted the stool to get water from the table. The fastest child got the stool, even though the other child was actually in the process of getting the stool to the counter. As I was talking with the instigator I asked, “Could the problem be that you were trying to be first, even though your sister was already using the stool?”
I have never asked the question that way, but it was clear and he understood it. I didn’t say anything about God or the Bible, though. Maybe we should talk about some of those one another verses. I’ll work on those next week. Now, back to work, before I fall prey to the me-first syndrome in my own life. 
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This is a good response. “Could the problem be that you were trying to be first, even though your sister was already using the stool?â€
I think I would have taken the easy way out and told Ella Grace it wasn’t kind ( which she already knows!) My response often can jsut be quick to “deal with it” but really, I am not getting to the bottom of it. I am learning that I really do need to ask more probing questions so that she truly will stop and think about her actions and make the right choices- God’s way.
1 kelly said this (August 4, 2007 at 7:22 pm)
You make a good point, that as our children mature, they are able to understand more complex motivations of their behavior. The “me-first” syndrome isn’t beyond our two year olds’ comprehension, but I still have to define what being kind is with Bethel. Her understanding of that concept is still developing.
2 Michelle said this (August 5, 2007 at 8:21 pm)