Mom as Referee
August 2007
0 CommentsWhen this post was written: First child (D) was 4 yrs, 2 mo. Second child (B) was 2 yrs, 7 mo. Third child (L) was 0 yrs, 10 mo.
Sometimes I realize that I have gotten in the habit of taking the easy way instead of the best way. Like today. As I was concentrating on maneuvering out of a parking lot, I heard Bethel scream and say, Mommy, David is spraying me! [David happened to bring a water spray bottle in the car] My response? David, don’t spray Bethel. Problem solved, right? No.
The real problem? I’m perpetuating myself as a necessary referee when I do that, because I’m not showing them how to resolve conflict themselves. What I should have done is helped Bethel know how to solve the problem. Tell David Please don’t spray me. When she’s a bit older I might do as my brilliant sister-in-law and ask Did you ask David to stop spraying you? Did you ask nicely, or were you whining? I hope someday I can be a good questioner like she is.
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