12 June 2008
Replacing Unkindness with Kindness
Posted by Michelle under: Getting Along; .
When my children are unkind, I want to help them put off the old man of unkindness and put on the new man of kindness. What will that look like?
First, I require asking forgiveness, not just making a statement of apology (etymology: a defense). They must name a sin and ask for a response.
- If a toy is taken away for whatever reason, kindness means I will give it back. (the older children understand that the correct way to retrieve a toy that has been unjustly taken is to ask for it, and then ask for help if needed)
- Replacing ugly words to encouraging words.
- Praying for a sibling. (Jesus tells us to pray for and bless our enemies. How much more should we pray for and bless our siblings.)
- Letting a sibling go first (first to choose a dessert, first in the car, first to choose a game to play or book to read).
- Helping a sibling make her bed or clean her room.
- Helping a sibling with chores (washing breakfast dishes)
- Asking a sibling, “How can I make it right?” or “How can I serve you right now?”
Some of these even my eighteen month old baby can understand. All of them I have used at some point or another with my two older children in the last year (Bethel is 3 and a half; David is five this month). Can you add to the list?
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2 Comments so far...
Gina Says:
14 June 2008 at 9:58 pm.
I had to chuckle when I read the first point - peacemaking attempts at toy retrieval. It’s nearly 11pm on a Saturday night and I’m positive that I’ve rehearsed these steps at least 50 times with my older 3 kids this week. (Everyone seems to be in a grabbing phase! *sigh*) Doing it the right way certainly takes longer! lol And teaching it…takes even longer. *weary look*
Still…it was good to laugh at these recurring instances that are part of our long days. It helps to know I’m not the only one! 
Michelle Says:
16 June 2008 at 6:40 am.
Gina–
I don’t know why we get so impatient with teaching by repetition. I think perhaps at the heart we’re comparing with others (results), instead of simply focusing on God’s Word (and obeying His commands). Thanks for your comments.
