Replacing Unkindness with Kindness

When my children are unkind, I want to help them put off the old man of unkindness and put on the new man of kindness. What will that look like?

First, I require asking forgiveness, not just making a statement of apology (etymology: a defense). They must name a sin and ask for a response.

  • If a toy is taken away for whatever reason, kindness means I will give it back. (the older children understand that the correct way to retrieve a toy that has been unjustly taken is to ask for it, and then ask for help if needed)
  • Replacing ugly words to encouraging words.
  • Praying for a sibling. (Jesus tells us to pray for and bless our enemies. How much more should we pray for and bless our siblings.)
  • Letting a sibling go first (first to choose a dessert, first in the car, first to choose a game to play or book to read).
  • Helping a sibling make her bed or clean her room.
  • Helping a sibling with chores (washing breakfast dishes)
  • Asking a sibling, “How can I make it right?” or “How can I serve you right now?”

Some of these even my eighteen month old baby can understand. All of them I have used at some point or another with my two older children in the last year (Bethel is 3 and a half; David is five this month). Can you add to the list?

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2 Responses to "Replacing Unkindness with Kindness"

  • I had to chuckle when I read the first point – peacemaking attempts at toy retrieval. It’s nearly 11pm on a Saturday night and I’m positive that I’ve rehearsed these steps at least 50 times with my older 3 kids this week. (Everyone seems to be in a grabbing phase! *sigh*) Doing it the right way certainly takes longer! lol And teaching it…takes even longer. *weary look*

    Still…it was good to laugh at these recurring instances that are part of our long days. It helps to know I’m not the only one! :-D

    1 Gina said this (June 14, 2008 at 9:58 pm)


  • Gina–
    I don’t know why we get so impatient with teaching by repetition. I think perhaps at the heart we’re comparing with others (results), instead of simply focusing on God’s Word (and obeying His commands). Thanks for your comments.

    2 Michelle said this (June 16, 2008 at 6:40 am)


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Chronological Bible: ESV

Read the Bible chronologically. The first time I read through the Bible in the order everything happened, I learned so much and gained an incredible understanding of the big picture of Scripture. If you've never done it, you should!

Bible Gateway

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Treasury of Scripture Knowledge

This is a fantastic online version of a classic reference tool. Basically this is a list of cross references based on particular passages. Simply click on the verse or passage you are studying, and you will find other references to other relevant Scripture.

Bible Commentaries Online

A list of classic Bible commentaries. Sometimes they're hard to understand, but they can be helpful when you're wanting more insight into a passage you are studying.

More Bible Study Resources

This is a page of links for articles and audio on the topic of studying the Bible. Some are not easy to read, but they are helpful.
The rest of this website has a tremendous amount of resources that may be of interest.


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