Stop the Crying?
Laurel is now two. She’s also emotional. Over the last weekend, Laurel cried because:
- She wanted to get into the box that Bethel was playing in.
- She wanted the dinosaur placemat that Bethel asked for.
- She wanted the purple spoon after she got first choice and picked the blue spoon and Bethel got the second choice and picked the purple spoon.
- She didn’t want milk in her blue cup, but in her rocket cup (because is has a funny straw, we give them only water in that cup).
I started feeling rather guilty. What have I been doing wrong? Why is my child crying nearly every time she doesn’t get her way?
Then it hit me. Because she’s not getting her way. That’s a good thing, not a bad thing. I could stop the distress immediately if I caved in. It would be easy to command older brother and sister to give her whatever she wants. I could anticipate what she will cry about and give it to her. All that will give me peace, right?
So, since I vaguely remember this stage with the other two, I’ll continue my course. I don’t need to make up situations where I don’t give her what she wants. I’ll continue to gve her good things (say yes when I can). I’ll continue to insist that she ask politely for something instead of crying for it. I’ll continue to say no when she’s taking toys from others, selfishly insisting on her way when she’s been told no, and when I see a good reason for not saying yes (like not letting her eat a grape sonic slushie on the carpet).
And she’ll probably continue to cry for awhile.
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- Crying to Communicate Isn’t All that Bad
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3 comments
Permalink1
Keep on keepin’ on, gal. We’re all in this together! =)
Permalink2
So mine isn’t the only two-year-old who does this?!?!? Hallelujah!!! Seriously, do you discipline for temper tantrums? I am struggling with this one. I read one resource that said that we should discipline for tantrums because they are using them to try to get what they are lusting for. Seems a little much, but my two-year-old uses it to manipulate me. For a while I was just making her go to her room to have her tantrum, but then ti became every single morning when we were on our way out the door - a stalling technique. Still struggling with what is right here, and also struggled with the “I’m a bad mommy becuase my kid is miserable” feelings too, so you are not alone!
Permalink3
I don’t want to discourage you - but my almost 12 year old son still crys almost every day over something. He has been highly emotional his whole life and it has gotten worse in the past year. (probably pre-teen hormones) But, he is a generally quiet child, so his greatest expression comes while he is crying. We talk a lot about self-control and not being sinful in our frustration and anger, etc. but if I demanded he stop the crying - he stops the talking. Hard road to know how much to push on…