Friends Throwing Fits

Today my dear friend Kelly came over. She has three daughters who are delightful. Her oldest is passionate and intense, and the most spiritually sensitive child I have ever seen. She also has a temper. Kelly and I have talked about discipline and parenting as long as we’ve known each other. I know Kelly’s heart is to search the Lord (with the same passion as Ella Grace) and his Word, and she’s a fantastic mom.

Today, Ella Grace thew a major fit, a throw yourself on the floor kind of fit. You could hear her screaming from all ends of the house. We cut the visit short, packed some sandwiches for the trip home, and Kelly brought her girls one by one to the car. Ella Grace begged to stay, told her mom that she was ready to obey, but Kelly simply told her that it was too late to change the consequences of her actions.

In the quiet, before my children and I ate, we prayed for Ella Grace. I prayed that God would help Ella Grace obey and choose to do right. I prayed for Mrs. Fleming to have wisdom as she helped Ella Grace. And I prayed for us, that we would have the humility to recognize that we struggle with anger, too. I explained that throwing a fit is bad, but so is holding a grudge, so is taking revenge “quietly.”

I want them to understand some things.

  • First, that we pray for our friends.
  • Second, that we all struggle to do right. I don’t want them pridefully thinking about others failures without soberly examining their own lives. Come to think of it, I probably should have talked about the gospel and what it means in terms of sin, but I didn’t. Maybe we’ll talk about that soon.
  • Third, that outward sins are sometimes shocking, but inward sins are just as bad. Again, I don’t want them to get into the comparing trap.
  • Fourth, as I told Kelly, I don’t have advice to give her. They’re not my children, and I truly don’t have the answers for her, but I believe God does. He’s promised to guide her, and I believe that He will, as she passionately seeks Him. I’ve seen too often mothers frustrated, but not willing to spend time in God’s Word. That’s convicting to me, and I need to practice what I preach. I need humility too, because my kids will probably be the next ones embarrassing me. I need to remember that well-behaved children are not the same as regenerate children.

When all is said and done, we all will look back and say that anything good in our children’s lives comes as a result of God’s mercy and grace, not our might and strength. Today was a good, soul searching day for this reason. Now, go read Kelly’s perspective of the day here at her blog.

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2 Responses to "Friends Throwing Fits"

  • Kelly wrote, “God gave me this child to make me more like Him”. That is brilliant thinking for all moms to cling to. Thank you for the reminder!

    My Laura sounds much like Ella. She turned 5 recently and her tantrums are just starting to wind down. But I’ve struggled for the last 3 years with her temper…how to deal with it in the best light of Scripture. (I think I mentioned this here before, and someone was surprised at how many approaches we’d taken – that was over a +2 year span, however.) She, too, is sensitive to spiritual things, and most times, it seems my biggest enemy is myself. It’s so easy to react in an attempt to regain control, and I pray very hard that God will redeem Laura for Himself…despite my failings! lol

    1 Gina said this (July 19, 2009 at 6:11 pm)


  • Gina! I would love to talk to you more about your approaches. I too, agree– my biggest enemy is myself but I am learning so much about leaning on the Lord in these chaotic moments. He DOES INDEED get the glory when I see a change in both my daughter and me. Since that post, we have had some huge victories and some huge set backs, but I suppose it all still keeps us coming back to Jesus above all. That’s the best place to be. :) Do you have an email or blog?

    2 kelly said this (July 20, 2009 at 8:18 am)


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I hope you have enjoyed reading my blog, but my greatest desire for my audience is that they would be inspired and motivated to search the scriptures for themselves. God promises to give wisdom to any believer who searches for it His way. Here are some Bible study links I have found of interest and help.

Chronological Bible: ESV

Read the Bible chronologically. The first time I read through the Bible in the order everything happened, I learned so much and gained an incredible understanding of the big picture of Scripture. If you've never done it, you should!

Bible Gateway

From this website you can search for scriptures in a number of versions and languages by key words, phrases, or references. I use this website often when I post Scripture on my blog, so then I don't have to worry about typing in the verse accurately.

Treasury of Scripture Knowledge

This is a fantastic online version of a classic reference tool. Basically this is a list of cross references based on particular passages. Simply click on the verse or passage you are studying, and you will find other references to other relevant Scripture.

Bible Commentaries Online

A list of classic Bible commentaries. Sometimes they're hard to understand, but they can be helpful when you're wanting more insight into a passage you are studying.

More Bible Study Resources

This is a page of links for articles and audio on the topic of studying the Bible. Some are not easy to read, but they are helpful.
The rest of this website has a tremendous amount of resources that may be of interest.


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