What If They Never Saw You Cry?
September 2009
1 CommentWhen this post was written: First child (D) was 6 yrs, 2 mo. Second child (B) was 4 yrs, 8 mo. Third child (L) was 2 yrs, 10 mo.
What if your children never saw you cry? Would that be a good thing? More importantly, what if they never saw what to do when mom is sick or sad or afraid?
Children don’t tend to like tears. They don’t like being reminded that they are vulnerable. And when their rock– mom and dad– appears unstable, they feel their vulnerability more acutely.
But what if we show them by words and deeds that there is a rock higher than we are?
- “Mommy isn’t feeling well, but I can remember that God knows everything and will help me. That makes me feel better.”
- Or, “Mommy is sad right now. I always feel better when I read the Bible and remind myself that God loves me.”
- “Jesus tells us not to be afraid when scary things happen. Nothing happens out of His will.”
Then, when scary things happen to our children, they’ll know where to go. Like when a computer was stolen from out of our house at night. Or when faced with a scary thunderstorm. Or when someone they love is hurting.
So, when mom is feeling sick, does she find comfort from the computer (brainless time) or the Bible? Ouch. Guess I need to get out my Bible and reevaluate my priorities.
From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee,
when my heart is overwhelmed:
lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
Psalm 61:2
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This is where I live. We just addressed this at Bible study on Monday. All the ladies in my study group prayed over me, with our pastor, for healing and strength. It was sweet… and humbling. It lent itself afterward to a discussion regarding coping mechanisms, and how candid a mom should be…how transparent? How will my kids learn to face trials if they don’t see a godly solution in me?
I know how difficult that can be. Under a continual barrage of weakness and pain, I fight depression and want escape. I’ve tried in the past to squirrel away my struggling self in a dark room. Reading scripture, good spiritually edifying books, listening to sermons and uplifting music sometimes are not my knee-jerk reaction…but I have seen baby steps of improvement.
My last migraine/joint pain/fatigue bout found me listening (even laughing) to C.J. Mahaney in the recliner…that, praise God, is what my daughter witnessed. No more cowering under the pressure of pain, but a spirit reaching out and beyond myself in frailty and dependence to the One who has overcome the world. That’s what my kids have to see. This is the stuff real life is made of.
1 Diane Heeney said this (September 17, 2009 at 1:39 pm)