As4Me Thinking through the process of finding wisdom.

Today I asked my children what they worried about. I didn’t get very far. Before long, I realized I was teaching the children myself a needed lesson. I told them myself about what worry is and what God says about it. We talked about the things people can worry about: when we say something and feel silly, when we wish we had done better in soccer, how we’re going to get the house clean, children schooled appropriately, and moving accomplished sanely.

Can they I deliberately obey God’s Word this week? Yep.

What am I supposed to do instead of worry? Paul says to pray and be thankful. I can do that right now; I realize how helpful it is to remind myself about God’s provision in the past. And I can listen to my husband (that’s rather spiritual, don’t you think?) who told me a few nights ago to make a list. He’s right– it’s not as frightening when I have my tasks all laid out neatly in front of me.

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; ⁷ and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

“Are not five sparrows sold for two copper coins?^[a] And not one of them is forgotten before God. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows. Luke 12:6-7

(Actually we talked for all of us, but I realize I needed the talk more than the children! Maybe tomorrow we’ll talk about this more and walk them through the process of applying the Philippians passage to their own lives.)

Popularity: 9% [?]

Continue reading Teaching the Children

Last night I awoke in a foggy blur to a little voice calling my name. At my side was Bethel, saying, “I was afraid you were not back yet.” I assured her that we had gotten back from our date soon after they were asleep, gave her a hug and kiss, and then asked her if she could go back to sleep. She nodded and started to leave.

Then she turned around and said intensely, “What can I think about?”

Joy! Even in the fogginess, I was tickled that she understood she was still feeling fearful and the solution was to think differently. I reminded her that Daddy had the day off, and she went to bed happy.

Then I was awake, and troubled. I spent some time worrying about what the future might hold, until I remembered my little one asking me “What can I think about?” As I began to consider what Christ has done in my life, and how he paid the price for my salvation, there was no more room for worry. God in his grace gave me good sleep.

Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the LORD keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain. It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: for so he giveth his beloved sleep. Psalm 127:1-2

Popularity: 17% [?]

Continue reading When I Am Afraid…

Tonight we lost power for an hour. Thankfully, I had already let the kids talk me into eating by candlelight (you do this sort of thing for poor children who are probably in the throes of grief because their father is on the other side of the earth). As I relit the candles, and found a few more, the children’s reaction was comforting.

They wanted to be close to mom, and reassured that all was well even though something dramatic had changed the predictability of their world. We talked factually about power outages, pioneers, and the blessings of candlelight.

As I put them to bed, I told them that I’d be up for a bit. I left candles in their rooms and started to go out the door to check my…

“Are you going to read your Bible now?” Bethel wanted to know.

“Yes, Bethel, I’m going to read my Bible.” I made that decision a split second before I replied, and I’m glad I did. I realized later that my children were anticipating my response based on a perceived scary event. In other words, they assumed I would read my Bible because they assumed I was as frightened as they were.

I know this is true because after a minute, David asked if I’d read out loud. Again, I was encouraged. How merciful is God! I struggle to read the Bible consistently, am repeatedly convicted about spending more time on the computer with my Bible, but nevertheless deeply desire to love God’s word like my parents did; I have children who have learned in spite of my failings that God and His Word is our refuge.

Praise the Lord. Not unto us be glory, but unto Him.

Popularity: 18% [?]

Continue reading When the Lights Go Out

Last night instead of blogging, I did some proofreading for my mom. I loved the article/ handout she is doing, and so instead of posting my thoughts, I’m including some of hers!

David was not a casual believer, but one who interacted with God on a daily basis and grew in his understanding of who God is and how God wants to interact with His own. (See also Psalm 18:2 and 144:2.) We who believe the scriptures and have put our trust in the same God David trusted, have the same opportunity to learn, grow, and experience the goodness and sustaining power and grace of the Lord. But just as David grew in his ability to trust, so do we—it doesn’t happen in an instant. Courage and confidence are not personality traits. We “grow in grace” just as every confident believer before us has grown in grace! (2 Peter 3:18) Furthermore, this growth in grace takes place over a lifetime, just as David’s spiritual growth spanned a lifetime.

When we run in fear from all that frightens us and never face our bears and lions in the strength of the Lord, we never learn that God sustains us nor do we grow in courage and confidence or see God’s power when a giant appears. As a result, we do not learn to say with confidence, “I sought the LORD, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.” (Psalm 34:4) We cannot say without hesitation, “Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the LORD delivereth him out of them all,” (Psalm 34:19) nor do we sing with joy, “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” (Psalm 46:1)

******************************

Fearfulness is a characteristic of normal development of all children to some degree. Understanding and loving parents take the time to discuss their children’s fears, to reassure them, and to patiently help children overcome them. They don’t berate their children or mock them for having a nightmare or expressing a childish fear. Good parents know that in time, their children will mature and learn how to face uncertainty or difficulty with confidence and appropriate responses. They realize that as life becomes more familiar to them and they gain understanding, they will naturally cease to express the typical fears of childhood. Godly parents further equip their children for life by teaching them how to trust in God, how to call to God for help, how to rely upon God for strength and wisdom, and how to find comfort even in the most perplexing or painful situations.

Children who are shielded from every problem and are not taught how to endure hardship by God’s grace are not blessed! Rather, they are spiritually and emotionally handicapped when they are not taught how to pray and trust God, how to see God work in every situation, how to face life’s inevitable difficulties with grace and acceptance, or resolve life’s problems by following God’s instructions. It is our knowledge of God’s presence, our confidence in His promises and our awareness of the realities of His love and acceptance that enable us to grow and conquer fears that are a normal part of our human experience.

Popularity: 16% [?]

Continue reading Avoiding Pain

Is obeying out of fear a bad thing?

Ummm, no, not if we read God’s Word. The Bible says that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, which Jesus defines as hearing and obeying God’s Word.

Obeying out of love is obviously a more mature motive, but the sad truth is that we humans don’t always act out of mature motives. Why do most people disobey the speed limit by going five miles over? If you answered, “Because they don’t want a speeding ticket,” you’ve likely identified a situation where people have obeyed out of fear (of being caught) and not love (obeying the speed limit because they love God and want to obey Him).

Today at breakfast, I read Psalm 25. I got to verse 12:

What man is he that feareth the Lord? him shall he teach in the way that he shall choose.

I happened to ask my children “Is it good to fear the Lord?”
Both assured me that fearing God was a very bad thing.

So I attempted to explain the difference between fearing because something was evil, and fearing because we love someone. I’m not sure I did a great job, but at least I’m getting practice.

Popularity: 17% [?]

Continue reading Is Obeying by Fear a Bad Thing?

Yesterday morning I was reading about Rehoboam and Jereboam, Solomon’s sons. I figured it would be a good topic of discussion at breakfast this morning.

I asked David and Bethel if they thought King Solomon’s children would be wise, since they had such a wise daddy. I told them that I was going to read from the Bible a part that would tell them whether they were wise or foolish.

So I read First Kings 12:6-14.

Then King Rehoboam consulted the elders who stood before his father Solomon while he still lived, and he said, “How do you advise me to answer these people?” And they spoke to him, saying, “If you will be a servant to these people today, and serve them, and answer them, and speak good words to them, then they will be your servants forever.” But he rejected the advice which the elders had given him, and consulted the young men who had grown up with him, who stood before him. And he said to them, “What advice do you give? How should we answer this people who have spoken to me, saying, ‘Lighten the yoke which your father put on us’?” Then the young men who had grown up with him spoke to him, saying, “Thus you should speak to this people who have spoken to you, saying, ‘Your father made our yoke heavy, but you make it lighter on us’—thus you shall say to them: ‘My little finger shall be thicker than my father’s waist! And now, whereas my father put a heavy yoke on you, I will add to your yoke; my father chastised you with whips, but I will chastise you with scourges!’” So Jeroboam and all the people came to Rehoboam the third day, as the king had directed, saying, “Come back to me the third day.” Then the king answered the people roughly, and rejected the advice which the elders had given him; and he spoke to them according to the advice of the young men, saying, “My father made your yoke heavy, but I will add to your yoke; my father chastised you with whips, but I will chastise you with scourges!”

I asked a lot of questions in this conversation, mostly because they needed the help understanding what we were talking about! I wanted them to understand that advice that sounds pleasant isn’t always the best advice. I also wanted to point out the difference between asking advice of wise elderly people, and unwise young people, although I don’t think that is the biggest problem here with Rehoboam. (Just because a person is an adult, doesn’t mean that he is wise) All this is with the long-term goal of protecting them from being overly influenced by the crowd. Since we don’t naturally stand in the face of opposition, and we naturally have the fear of man, I want to teach them what it looks like.

Today at breakfast, I’ll read about David and Goliath for contrast. I’ll point out that David was different because he feared God more than man.

Popularity: 17% [?]

Continue reading Fear of Man and Following the Crowd

Do you ever worry about whether you’re doing things right? Worry about the next assignment or deployment? Worry about family, worry about finances?

I found myself worrying last night, and this is what I read.

And, behold, there arose a great tempest in the sea, insomuch that the ship was covered with the waves: but he was asleep. And his disciples came to him, and awoke him, saying, Lord, save us: we perish.

And he saith unto them, Why are ye fearful, O ye of little faith? Then he arose, and rebuked the winds and the sea; and there was a great calm. But the men marvelled, saying, What manner of man is this, that even the winds and the sea obey him! Matthew 8:24-27

So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God. Romans 10:17

See, Jesus identified the source of the disciples’ fear in that storm. They needed more faith. The Romans passage tells us where faith comes from. There’s not a mystical supply somewhere. I don’t see faith coming simply by praying long prayers to God. God tells us faith comes from the Word of God, the Bible.

When I find myself worrying too much, I know one problem is that I’m not reading or thinking about God’s Word. Maybe I’m reading it, but forgetting it throughout the day. Maybe I’m not reading it enough. Maybe I’m stuck on Deuteronomy and need to read something else for awhile. Regardless, I have indeed found that taking my medicine means I need to spend more time reading and thinking about God and His Word.

Popularity: 19% [?]

Continue reading Diagnosing Fear: Bible Deficiency