As4Me » Lying

Describing Repentance

Michelle — Tue, 07 Dec 2010 15:33:40 +0000

In our Sunday school class, we’ve been discussing repentance. And I decided that if we adults sometimes need help defining it biblically (and we do), then it would be worthwhile to share the love and teach these things to our children. Yesterday I read them Psalm 32.

I told them that King David sinned. [what did he do, mom? I told them.]

I explained that David starts the poem talking about how happy he was. I asked them to listen to the first two verses and see if they could tell me what made him happy.

Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven,
Whose sin is covered!
² Blessed is the man to whom the LORD does not impute iniquity,
And in whose spirit there is no deceit!

I explained that David wanted us first to know how happy he was so we could understand how horrible it was when he was hiding his sin. (Notice that the last word of the happy part is the same idea as the first clause of the sad part: deceit=when I kept silent.)

³ When I kept silent,
my bones grew old
Through my groaning all the day long.
⁴ For day and night Your hand was heavy upon me;
My vitality was turned into the drought of summer.
Selah

I asked them how King David hid his sin. “When I kept silent.” Sometimes just keeping silent is the same as hiding sin. I told them that King Solomon learned this lesson too.

He that covereth his sins shall not prosper:
but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy.
Proverbs 2:13

Did David stop hiding his sin? I asked. They were quite certain that he did, and I told them how he did it. First, he told God about his sin. He asked God to forgive him.

⁵ I acknowledged my sin to You,
And my iniquity I have not hidden.
I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the LORD,”
And You forgave the iniquity of my sin. Selah

⁶ For this cause everyone who is godly shall pray to You
In a time when You may be found;
Surely in a flood of great waters
They shall not come near him.

I explained that these verse tell us one reason King David wrote his poem, so that we would know how to confess and forsake our sin. The next part tells us about what we should start doing after we tell God our sin and ask him to forgive us.

⁷ You are my hiding place;
You shall preserve me from trouble;
You shall surround me with songs of deliverance. Selah

⁸ I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will guide you with My eye.
⁹ Do not be like the horse or like the mule,
Which have no understanding,
Which must be harnessed with bit and bridle,
Else they will not come near you.

I asked them, Did King David have to be forced to do right? When we repent, will we be like a horse who has to be forced to obey with a bit and bridle? Or a horse who listens eagerly to figure out what his master wants him to do? Bethel liked that part. She likes horses, and she wanted to see if the Bible really had something to say about horses.

¹⁰ Many sorrows shall be to the wicked;
But he who trusts in the LORD, mercy shall surround him.
¹¹ Be glad in the LORD and rejoice, you righteous;
And shout for joy, all you upright in heart!

Sorrows come when we hide our sin. David wanted to jump and shout for joy when he was forgiven.

Which is better?

Truly, which is better? I love that King David tells us what to DO, but also explains how what we do affects how we FEEL. Good preaching to mommy, wasn’t it?

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Truth Telling and Lying

Michelle — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 13:37:21 +0000

When is a liar not a liar? Ephesians 4:25 tells us the answer: when he becomes a truth teller.

“Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbour: for we are members one of another.”

This is a pattern developed repeatedly in this chapter and in other places. It’s not enough not to be nasty; we must speak kindly. It’s not enough not to steal; we must learn to be a giver. Paul gives us several examples to help us understand exactly what it means to put off the old man, renew our minds, and then finally, replace our old behavior with Christ-honoring behavior.

Our passage is a helpful one when understanding the concept of honesty. In our pagan culture, honesty is simply defined as “not telling lies.” This is how Bill Clinton could look people in the eye with indignation that he was being accused of dishonesty. He told the truth. In fact, Clinton probably always tells the truth. But that doesn’t make him honest. God’s standard is higher.

Yesterday David informed me that he told me that he really didn’t like the cucumbers he had been given after all. He was caught in a trap. Right now he’s been working overtime to be pleasant and well behaved. So when he was given a small bite of a new food, he responded enthusiastically. But that caused him to be given a larger helping, which he wasn’t happy to receive. At the end of his meal, when he had only a pile of cucumbers on his plate, he tried to explain the problem.

He actually started to say that he didn’t tell the truth. But that has problems, so he phrased it differently. “I didn’t say it right. What I meant was that I liked it just a little.”

Now, that may be true, and I do want to be careful not to make accusations. But it’s clear from this and other statements he’s made that he needs more instruction on the value of truth telling. I stumbled over what to say, and was dissatisfied with my response. I’ve been thinking about it.

Truth is a rare commodity in our slippery postmodern culture. I want David to be a man who tells the truth, even if it means he must admit fault. I want him to tell the truth because it is right, not because it gets good results and makes mom and dad happy.

Today we’re going to talk about telling the truth. I’m going to talk about this verse that I shared here. I’m praying that he will learn the high priority that God places on integrity.Similar Posts:

Hiding Sin

Michelle — Thu, 15 May 2008 02:20:15 +0000

This morning I was reading Psalm 32, and I decided it would be a good passage to talk about, since we’ve been dealing with some truth issues. Here’s how the conversation went:

Did you know that one time King David was hiding his sin? Do you think he was happy or sad when he was hiding his sin?

Bethel: He was sad.

Did you know he wrote about it? Here is what he said. [mommy reads verses] He’s saying that he was miserable. Have you ever really wanted water and not been able to have any? What do you think about when you are really really thirsty? David was miserable, and although he tried to be happy, he wasn’t, because he was hiding his sin.

Bethel: I was hiding my sin yesterday.

Oh? [shock, because I don't remember anything out of the ordinary yesterday]. When were you hiding your sin?

Bethel: I was hiding my sin when I was coloring.

[Still not understanding or remembering] What sin were you hiding?

Bethel: I didn’t want to clean, so I was hiding and coloring.

Oh. [Now I remember] King David was happy when he made it right, when he asked God to forgive him.

Bethel: I’m not hiding my sin right now.

How thankful I am that God prompted me to read my Bible this morning. How thankful I am that He prompted me to talk about what I was reading. Although David didn’t comment much, he was paying close attention. I’m thankful for what God showed me that He is working in their lives. I should be willing to parent on faith, but it’s a tremendous encouragement when I see what’s going on under the surface occasionally.

How has God’s Word changed you this week? How are you pursuing wisdom in God’s Word?
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Lying and the Conscience

Michelle — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 10:00:16 +0000

Lee grew up with garden tomatoes and has been encouraging a summer garden adventure, so for the last few weeks, we’ve been cultivating some tomato seedlings inside. The other day I came into the kitchen to inspect the plants, and discovered them all missing.

Upon questioning, none of my children have admitted any responsibility. We are pretty sure it wasn’t baby, since the soil is undisturbed and no evidence of plants anywhere. She doesn’t have the subtlety to hide evidence yet.

We’re pretty sure we know the culprit, but the culprit
maintains innocence. The culprit has expressed suspicion of the baby, but not the other sibling, who was “not near the plants when it happened.”

What to do? When we’re not absolutely certain, we’re quite reluctant to say “You’re lying.” The harmful effects of a false accusation seem to be greater than allowing a guilty conscience to fester for a time. At the same time, lying is very serious, a sin that God hates (Proverbs 6:16-17). We want to take it seriously, too.

We’ve had some serious discussions with the apparently guilty child, but no success finding the truth.

Maybe we should talk about Achan in Joshua 7. Maybe we should memorize some verses about truth telling and lying.

A conscience is something that develops physically and spiritually, on a timetable and path that is different for each child. We’ve not seen much evidence of a guilty conscience yet with our children. Yes, they hide their behavior when they are being naughty, so it’s often clear when they know their behavior is sinful. But there’s little overall sense of what it means to be a sinner separated from God. Meanwhile, Lee and I have been praying that God will not let our children deceive and remain uncaught. We are praying that God will use this situation to draw our children to himself.Similar Posts:

Dealing with Deceitfulness

Michelle — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 10:00:29 +0000

Last week, I caught David sneaking a candy snack. I hadn’t said he couldn’t have it, but he was obviously aware that I would not be pleased with what he had in his hands.

Do you know what his response was to my question about what he was doing? What are you doing here, mom?

You see, there was no real reason for me to find him. I had been taking care of Laurel and wouldn’t have seen him, except for providential direction. That’s what I told him. God sent me here. I told him that even if mommy doesn’t see him, God always sees him. About this time his eyes glazed over, and I removed the candy from his hand and sent him back outside to play. I wasn’t totally satisfied with my response, but that’s what I did.

Since I’ve noticed a little more sneaky behavior (not lying, but deceitful) lately, I’m interested in contemplating a good approach. I think he’s able developmentally to recognize truth (I’m not so certain with three year old sister), and I think he’s capable of understanding that deceit is just as wrong as lying (he’s precisely truthful most of the time). We’ve talked about this a little, but not to my satisfaction, so I know I need some more teaching on the topic. I also believe that lying is a sin that is serious, in that it should be dealt with before it becomes a habit.
I’ll need to brainstorm my Scripture knowledge to reexamine how God talks about lying. For example, I know right off that Paul reminds us that the solution to lying is not merely to stop lying, but to become a truth teller (Ephesians 4:24). That’s extremely helpful for me. I’ll also try to think of people in the Bible who lied. I’ll probably do a search on truth and deceit on biblegateway.com. I’ll look up lying in some of my childrearing books that have topical lists in them. That will surely keep me busy for awhile.Similar Posts:

Truth Telling

Michelle — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 14:23:23 +0000

Lying lips are abomination to the LORD: but they that deal truly are his delight. Proverbs 12:22

Today we talked about lying again. When I asked about a damaged container, David’s response was I don’t know. I asked both children several times what happened, with the same response. Since Bethel at age three still doesn’t see the need to deceive in these situations, I figured that David knew more than he was telling and persisted in asking him what happened. Finally, he admitted that he jumped on the container and broke it. I asked if he knew what God thinks about lying, and David’s response was again, I don’t know. So we looked up this passage. We defined abomination, and I asked him again what God thinks of lying. He got the answer right, this time! I asked him if he lied because he didn’t want to get in trouble for breaking the toy bucket, and he answered yes. I want to help him understand the desire to cover up sin, and the motives he might have for lying. That’s why I asked the question. (We’ve talked before about covering sin.) I didn’t want to stop there, though, because the second part of the passage talks about what God loves. So I asked David what God thinks when we tell the truth. Then we talked about how much God loves truth-telling, even if it means it is hard to tell the truth.

I’m almost ready to give consequences for lying. I still feel like he believes “I don’t know” isn’t really lying because he’s not saying one way or the other what happened. In retrospect, I think that’s why I need to emphasize that God loves truth telling, because truth telling is the opposite of deceit as well as lying. But the issue has come up more frequently, so I think God is giving more teaching opportunities in this area. I am praying I’ll be sensitive to teaching opportunities, as well that God will help me use this time to share more of the gospel with him.

As for me, I’ve got a thick skull, because the last month or so of Wisdom Wednesdays are recurring themes in my life. Passages on dependence on God, transparency, laziness, anger: these keep going through my mind, and I suspect I need to do more thinking on these same topics, instead of moving from simple thought to simple thought. I keep thinking, how is God’s Word changing me today? Every time, this is a convicting thought.

So… how is God’s Word changing you lately? Here is the page where I explain Wisdom Wednesday and provide code for the WW header and buttons if you decide to comment on your own blog. Or just share in the comments.Similar Posts:

Politeness or Dishonesty?

Michelle — Thu, 12 Apr 2007 13:27:08 +0000

The other day a visiting child cut David a paper square. She was very pleased with it, and tried giving it to David. David did not want it, so he was kind of running away from her. I started to tell David what to say, and I realized mid lecture that I was blurring the lines between tact and dishonesty. I stopped and told him he needed to answer the girl. He said, “I don’t want it.”

Yesterday at storytime another preschooler asked David if he wanted to hear him sing a song. David didn’t know what to say. I told him, “Answer him. Say yes or no.” David said no.

I could have told him to say “Sure.” Sometime later I’ll teach him how to be tactful. Before I teach that, I need to teach him to respond instead of ignoring the person when he doesn’t know what to say. Teaching to be tactful, now I can see that is going to be interesting. He’s a literal minded kid, and I suspect he’s not going to see the gray area between tact and honesty. Now that I think of it, maybe that’s why he’s not responding in these difficult situations.

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positive or negative?

Michelle — Thu, 20 Jul 2006 16:07:00 +0000

If you were going to teach your young child what truth is, and what God thinks of it, would you teach the first part of Proverbs 12:22 or the second?

Lying lips are abomination to the LORD: but they that deal truly are his delight.

The second half of this verse David and I talked about yesterday. My desire is first to teach that God loves truth tellers as I am still teaching what truth is (I’m not confident David understands the concept yet). Then, when he knows what truth is, and how delightful it is to God, then I’ll teach that God hates lying.

It seems to fit best the positive pattern of Psalm 78 that is wrapped around my heart. But perhaps I’m avoiding the “negative” side of God. I’m trying to keep things simple by not giving all the verse yet, but perhaps I should be giving the whole thing. But even still, I still will emphasize one part or the other. The construction of the proverb places the emphasis on the second half I think. Just thinking out loud…Similar Posts:

Learning About Lying

Michelle — Sun, 02 Apr 2006 17:29:00 +0000

This morning at breakfast, David asked to be excused. I was not sitting at the table at that time, so I asked him if his cereal was all gone (not, “Are you done?”). He said yes, but when he brought the bowl by me to put it on the counter, I saw there were quite a few Cheerios left.

Now, I do not believe David quite understands what lying is. If I were to try to get him to explain what “telling the truth” or “telling a lie” were, he wouldn’t be able to do it. He doesn’t display any guilt when he doesn’t tell the truth.

So, with this in mind, I want to help him know what telling the truth is. Just like we taught him about anger months ago by simply identifying his behavior as anger, I simply said, “David. You still have Cheerios in your bowl. You said they were all gone. They are not all gone. You did not tell Mommy the truth.” I didn’t discipline him, other than sending him back to the table to finish. I will probably repeat this conversation in other contexts a number of times before I am confident he knows that lying is a sin, and knows what lying is. Right now, I haven’t even established what truth is. This job will soon include sharing what God says about telling the truth. At the point I am confident of his understanding, I will discipline him for lying. But for now, I am simply defining it for him, as God defines it. The process has just begun.Similar Posts: