24August2007

Encouraging Thoughts from My Mom

Posted by Michelle under: Mercy.

From Parenting with Wisdom, page 54

God, in love to our souls, pities we who are His children and remembers that we are but dust and frail. He is quick to show mercy to those who fear Him and love Him. David tells us, “He has not dealt with us after our sins; nor rewarded us according to our iniquities” (Psalms 103:10-14). As we become aware of God’s love and mercy, we respond with devotion, gratitude, and praise to Him. It is because of His mercy that we are not consumed because His compassions fail not (Lamentations 3:22023). God forgives childish infractions and overlooks immaturity. He weighs our actions, considers our weaknesses, and adjusts His response in proportion to our abilities, attitude, and understanding. If He were mark every sin we committed in a day, we would not be able to function. We would be overwhelmed with sorrow and discouragement. Rather, God deals with His children individually according to His plan and causes us to grow in grace while He progressively moves us toward maturity. He forgives us, David declares, rather than marking every failure.

When I was a beginning teacher, I thought it was my responsibility to mark (in red pen) every single error in the English papers I graded. I learned how discouraging it was, and once eager students became reluctant to turn in their work. I found much more success when I limited my criticism to what they could manage, and tempered my critique with praise. In response, my students became much more enthusiastic. I am so thankful that God is merciful in how and when he reveals areas of needed growth. I can improve in modeling this same mercy to my children.

P.S. I’ll be going camping this weekend. Our whole church goes up to the mountains and has the Sunday service at a campsite after a big potluck. Have a great weekend!

Popularity: 14% [?]

Popularity: 14% [?]

7August2007

Foiled Again

Posted by Michelle under: Getting Along; Humility; Mercy.

Awhile back, I was so pleased because I found a way to help my children play together better. When one wanted an item the other had, I suggested they ask to play with it when the other child was done, instead of asking for it directly. Can I play with that when you are done? Of course, the answer was [almost] always yes, so it kept the peace and usually resulted in the toy being shared sooner rather than later.

Lately, though, when I’ve made that suggestion, the response has been, No, I want it NOW. I need a new approach, or a way of refurbishing the one I’ve been using.

Guess that’s my problem too. I want a clean house NOW (without saying no to my flesh). I want obedient children NOW (without the monotony of repetitive instruction). I want my husband to be a master leader NOW (instead of allowing him to grow, as all men must do). What verses will help me and my children?

One verse my husband has been talking about. It reminds me not to be discouraged because God is the one who is doing the work, and he has promised to finish me.

Philippians 1:6 Being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;

Another passage that came to me after a few minutes of thinking (I also looked up lowliness in a concordance because I was drawing a blank):

Ephesians 4:1,2 I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, 3 endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

I think this passage in particular would be better talked about outside of the crisis moment, at the breakfast table, or when I see them glorifying God by their kindness toward one another. I am reminding myself now that it’s important not to give Scripture just when I’m correcting them, but also when I see them doing it right, or when we see examples in others around us. I think I need to work on that, too.

Popularity: 25% [?]

Popularity: 25% [?]

14April2006

God’s Mercy to Me, a Lawbreaker

Posted by Michelle under: Discipleship; Mercy.

Someone gave Lee and me a childrearing book by a highly respected Christian man. We read much of it together a few nights ago. Although he states many accurate biblical truths, there were some problematic statements. The first was that patience, kindness, and mercy are not appropriate to show when justice should be meted out. In other words, mercy and justice are not compatible for a Christian.

Aren’t you glad that God didn’t read this childrearing book? Every time we come to Him in humility, he responds with outpouring of grace and mercy.

Here are some more verses that indicate God can indeed be perfectly just, and at the same time extend mercy to us.

If thou, LORD, shouldest mark iniquities, O Lord, who shall stand? Psalm 130:3

The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and plenteous in mercy. He will not always chide: neither will he keep his anger for ever. He hath not dealt with us after our sins; nor rewarded us according to our iniquities. For as the heaven is high above the earth, so great is his mercy toward them that fear him. Psalm 103:8-11 (This whole chapter is worth pondering. It is wonderful!)

But love ye your enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing again; and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be the children of the Highest: for he is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil. Be ye therefore merciful, as your Father also is merciful. Luke 6:35-36

The absence of mercy from Christian childrearing books seems significant to me. Even if we don’t agree on when to show mercy, shouldn’t we say something about it? God clearly shows mercy to us, and we are clearly commanded to show mercy to others. Maybe our collective, cultural (fundamentalist) wisdom missed this one.

Popularity: 15% [?]

Popularity: 15% [?]

12April2006

Humility and Mercy

Posted by Michelle under: Discipleship; Mercy.

Consider this verse:

God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.

My mom told me that this is her principle for showing mercy. Inasmuch as a child demonstrates humility, she is merciful. If a child defends, hides, or minimizes his wrongdoing, she exacts the promised consequence. Let a child receive instruction well, and she reduces the consequence.

I think that’s a good food for thought. Actually, though, I don’t know that I’ve ever seen humilty or repentence in David or Bethel, for that matter. What does it look like in a two-year-old? “Please don’t me very hard, Mommy” doesn’t sound it!

This is a topic for another day, but I’m intrigued by the thought that the Holy Spirit does not rest in the bosom of my children. Maybe that’s why the repentence and humility is not there?

Michelle

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Popularity: 13% [?]

3April2006

More on Mercy

Posted by Michelle under: Mercy.

Perhaps one way that we can show mercy is how we deal with a child who comes to us with wrongdoing, as opposed to us finding it out and coming to him. In these cases, discipline has already begun, and I should not discipline as harshly as I would had I discovered the problem.

For example, a child who comes to me and says, “I lied” is disciplined differently that if I discover he has lied, and he tries to cover it up.

See Proverbs 28:13 He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy.

Popularity: 15% [?]

Popularity: 15% [?]

24March2006

Be ye merciful as your father is merciful…

Posted by Michelle under: Mercy.

Today in Bible study we talked about imitating God, our perfect parent. One of the passages we studied is the one in the post title.

The question is, how can I be merciful to my children? The problem is, I feel guilty if I don’t discipline every time David or Bethel disobey. Is mercy simply not giving correction sometimes? And if so, how do I determine those times?

As I said to the ladies in the class (and mostly to myself), maybe we need to better understand God’s mercy. And maybe we need to ask God for wisdom to know when to be merciful.

Here’s one of my ideas: When a child faces the natural consequences of his sin. This idea actually came from an article Lee’s dad wrote. He mentions his friend nearly blowing off his hand while they were goofing off with some ammunition. The kids were scared to that the dad would punish the son, but when he saw the ied hand, he simply wrapped up the hand and took his son to the hospital. Lee’s dad says that this was not a time to discipline the son for disobeying dad. I think I agree, and I think it is a good example of our ability to show our children mercy.

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Popularity: 13% [?]