Last night I realized that I haven’t had the kids write out in their words their testimony. I might do this, and see what we get. While I do not want them to invent a memory, I would desire that they remember what they have done. Talking and writing about their profession is of great value toward this end. The more they remember, the better able they will be to evaluate their own profession in years to come.

If you’re wondering about young children and their capacity for salvation, I commend to you Spurgeon’s book on this topic. Please read it, if you have not done so. It will encourage and challenge you, far more than most child-rearing books in print today.

Random thoughts:

I believe that salvation is simple enough for a child to understand. I believe that, while it is appropriate to evaluate a child’s understanding of salvation, Scripture makes refusing a child’s testimony to be a very serious thing. Adults seem to require far greater maturity of an adult convert than a child convert. Children are developing mentally and physically, making their spiritual growth look different than an adult convert. Cultivating a desire for spiritual things is important (just because plants naturally grow doesn’t mean than we shouldn’t tend them carefully!) I need to trust the Holy Spirit with the salvation of my children. It is also not a good thing to carry guilt for a long period of time. How a child perceives himself is of importance (more on this later).

 Similar Posts:

• Selling Salvation to Children
• Saved or Not?
• Easter Story Not Understandable
• Unregenerate Children in Limbo
• Total Depravity of Toddlers

• I asked them if they knew what the most important commands were in the Bible. (I figured they wouldn’t know this)
• I asked them if they could find a place where someone wanted to know why we needed to be born again. (Bethel and David both went to John 3– I want them to feel successful at using their Bibles, so I asked them a challenge I knew they could get.)
• I asked them if they could find a place where the Bible tells us something to think about. (Bethel went to Phil 4:8 and then Psalm 1. I sent David to Psalm 119 and he found a few verses in that chapter.)
• We also read Psalm 103 together, and I asked them if they could find some verses that might help a child who was afraid that God was always mad at him.

Sometimes as I listen in church or read my Bible, I think “Oh, that would be a good verse for my children.” On Sunday I had a whole bunch, all at once, so I had to write them down. On Monday, I really wanted them to get the most important command– love the Lord your God with all heart soul and mind– because of its importance to salvation. For a child who is pretty good at being good– helpful and kind, obedient, listens in Sunday school, really, every teacher’s dream child– he needs to know that without salvation, he is breaking God’s most important command. I want to communicate that being good might assuage our guilty feelings, but it isn’t salvation. I also wanted to balance the command, with an understanding of God’s love and mercy. That’s why we read Psalm 103.

(Btw, I had a good followup conversation in private. I really want salvation conversations to be serious and pleasant, but not oppressive. We are on the same team with our children!)

I have a feeling I’ll be asked to have another silly putty conversation today.Similar Posts:

• The Development of Conscience
• “Bringing a Bible Is a Waste of Time”
• Spiritual Instruction for a Child with Learning Disabilities
• The Blessing of Disappointment
• Creating Opportunities to Talk about Scripture

We’ve been discussing salvation as an act of obedience.

But they have not all obeyed the gospel. For Isaiah says, “LORD, who has believed our report?” So then faithcomes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God. (Romans 10:16-17)

I want to be able to hug my unsaved children and love them, to praise their obedience and accomplishments. I don’t want to create the impression that my love is dependent on whether they obey God or me, especially as they get older. There’s a tension between calling our children to repentance (something we should be doing) and manipulating their desire to please parents in order to exact a conversion. Because of this tension, we are still praying for wisdom in this area, and we don’t feel like we have all the answers.

When our children were little, we wanted to be careful when presenting the gospel to our children. We wanted to see the Holy Spirit working: evidence of a developing conscience, awareness of sin, desire for salvation, and understanding of the gospel. We didn’t talk about “obey God and repent,”  probably because as parents of young children, we could force our children to obey in most things. We didn’t want salvation to be one of those things. As they have gotten older, and it has been clear that they aren’t making decisions simply to please mom and dad, we have talked about salvation as obedience.

Jesus isn’t simply inviting us to come on a journey, and then he’ll give us instructions to obey. He tells us to follow him. This is a step of obedience, and it has been helpful for me to see it this way, whether it is sharing the gospel with my children, or with others.Similar Posts:

• Praying for my Children
• Motivating Children
• Do You Forget Your Child Is Not Saved?
• Gospel-Centered Parenting
• The Unsaved Child

I mentioned that the Bible talks about a number of people who were reluctant to be saved or repent, and that we can see several reasons for not doing so. We chatted about a few.

• The pharisees were more concerned about what people thought of them: they loved the praise of men more than the praise of God.
• The woman who came to Jesus by secretly touching his robe was afraid.
• Herod wanted to keep sinning.
• There might be other reasons, too.

Since one limitation I’ve found with my children is that not all of them are quick with words, I want to be able to give words in a non-threatening or pressured way. I don’t want to say, “This is what your motivation is…” or even “I think this is what your motivation is…” Instead, I want to give some options and see what they identify. One thing I am learning is the art of staying neutral in conversation (I’m not good at it, but I am getting better!) Since I had an interested child, I asked if any of the reasons that we talked about were ones that applied in that child’s life.

fear, mostly.

really? Okay. I poked a bit, but that was the end of the conversation. Guess that what God has given me to work with, and I should act based on what I know (not worry about what I don’t know)

Okay. It occurs to me that Nicodemus was afraid, too, but he came to Jesus. Perfect love acts out fear (we did read Treasures in the Snow because of the excellent spiritual discussions along those lines) Maybe I can think of more. And that might make a good breakfast conversation.Similar Posts:

• Bravery and Fear
• Comparing with Others
• Teaching about Emotions
• Is Obeying by Fear a Bad Thing?
• Fear of Man and Following the Crowd

If a child says he’s saved, should you believe him and treat him as saved?

That’s the question we’ve been tossing around these days.

I’m not talking about a child parents believe may not understand salvation. I’m talking about the fear many Christian parents have of an insincere profession from a child who understands salvation.

I’ve actually read advice from Christian authors that parents shouldn’t treat their children like they are saved until the children demonstrate “fruit” of salvation. They are cautioned that joy over a salvation decision shouldn’t be interpreted as fruit. That makes me uncomfortable.

Here’s what I’m thinking.

Another parable put he forth unto them, saying, The kingdom of heaven is likened unto a man which sowed good seed in his field:

²⁵But while men slept, his enemy came and sowed tares among the wheat, and went his way.

²⁶But when the blade was sprung up, and brought forth fruit, then appeared the tares also.

²⁷So the servants of the householder came and said unto him, Sir, didst not thou sow good seed in thy field? from whence then hath it tares?

²⁸He said unto them, An enemy hath done this. The servants said unto him, Wilt thou then that we go and gather them up?

²⁹But he said, Nay; lest while ye gather up the tares, ye root up also the wheat with them.

³⁰Let both grow together until the harvest: and in the time of harvest I will say to the reapers, Gather ye together first the tares, and bind them in bundles to burn them: but gather the wheat into my barn. Matthew 13:24-30

The Bible actually talks about how we should handle professions of faith, several times. We’re told that in the beginning, it’s impossible to tell the difference between genuine and false professions of faith. That’s a hard pill to swallow for any parent. But it helps me to know that, given evidence that my child understands salvation and their testimony of having received Christ as Savior, I should treat that child as I do any other professing believer. Then I should choose to trust God.

Can I know for certain whether any person, other than my own self, is saved? No. God’s Word tells me this.

Do the actions of people give reason to doubt the salvation of a person? yes. (Passages in First John)

Is it ever appropriate to question the salvation of a person? yes and no. Most of the Scriptures I can think of are really instruction for self examination. I am not reluctant to encourage someone to examine himself. I am far more reluctant to say “I don’t think you’re saved.”

Should I couch every biblical instruction with a “If Christ has indeed saved you…”  I hope you agree with me that this is not appropriate. To do this calls into question God’s Word, which clearly states that when we call on God, he WILL save us. I’m more apt to confuse a child than help him by talking this way.

This issue seems to be rooted in a need to trust God with the salvation of our children. Do not worry about tomorrow! Seek first the kingdom of God today!

I need to pray for my children, to teach them about salvation, to respond with joy to evidence that they are drawing near to God. I need wisdom how to treat a saved child in the middle of children who have not been saved. I shouldn’t love a saved child any more than unsaved children.

By the way, my sister-in-law Rebecca gave me a book last year that handled salvation and children better than any other treatment I’ve seen. I have wanted to go through it slowly and review it, but in the meantime, I give it to you here.Similar Posts:

• Enemy of God?
• The Fruit of Holiness
• Inside and Outside Fruit
• Do You Forget Your Child Is Not Saved?
• The Fruit of the Spirit

In our Sunday school class, we’ve been discussing repentance. And I decided that if we adults sometimes need help defining it biblically (and we do), then it would be worthwhile to share the love and teach these things to our children. Yesterday I read them Psalm 32.

I told them that King David sinned. [what did he do, mom? I told them.]

I explained that David starts the poem talking about how happy he was. I asked them to listen to the first two verses and see if they could tell me what made him happy.

Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven,
Whose sin is covered!
² Blessed is the man to whom the LORD does not impute iniquity,
And in whose spirit there is no deceit!

I explained that David wanted us first to know how happy he was so we could understand how horrible it was when he was hiding his sin. (Notice that the last word of the happy part is the same idea as the first clause of the sad part: deceit=when I kept silent.)

³ When I kept silent,
my bones grew old
Through my groaning all the day long.
⁴ For day and night Your hand was heavy upon me;
My vitality was turned into the drought of summer.
Selah

I asked them how King David hid his sin. “When I kept silent.” Sometimes just keeping silent is the same as hiding sin. I told them that King Solomon learned this lesson too.

He that covereth his sins shall not prosper:
but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy.
Proverbs 2:13

Did David stop hiding his sin? I asked. They were quite certain that he did, and I told them how he did it. First, he told God about his sin. He asked God to forgive him.

⁵ I acknowledged my sin to You,
And my iniquity I have not hidden.
I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the LORD,”
And You forgave the iniquity of my sin.  Selah

⁶ For this cause everyone who is godly shall pray to You
In a time when You may be found;
Surely in a flood of great waters
They shall not come near him.

I explained that these verse tell us one reason King David wrote his poem, so that we would know how to confess and forsake our sin. The next part tells us about what we should start doing after we tell God our sin and ask him to forgive us.

⁷ You are my hiding place;
You shall preserve me from trouble;
You shall surround me with songs of deliverance.  Selah

⁸ I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will guide you with My eye.
⁹ Do not be like the horse or like the mule,
Which have no understanding,
Which must be harnessed with bit and bridle,
Else they will not come near you.

I asked them, Did King David have to be forced to do right? When we repent, will we be like a horse who has to be forced to obey with a bit and bridle? Or a horse who listens eagerly to figure out what his master wants him to do? Bethel liked that part. She likes horses, and she wanted to see if the Bible really had something to say about horses.

¹⁰ Many sorrows shall be to the wicked;
But he who trusts in the LORD, mercy shall surround him.
¹¹ Be glad in the LORD and rejoice, you righteous;
And shout for joy, all you upright in heart!

Sorrows come when we hide our sin. David wanted to jump and shout for joy when he was forgiven.

Which is better?

Truly, which is better? I love that King David tells us what to DO, but also explains how what we do affects how we FEEL. Good preaching to mommy, wasn’t it?

Similar Posts:

• Hiding Sin
• The Positive Side of Forgiveness
• Demanding Children
• Repentance Discussion
• External Control, or Heart Change?

These are all questions I’ve had, and never come to any satisfying conclusions. When we started as a family considering James 4 (especially the ideas that 1)God resists the proud and gives grace to the humble and 2) If we draw near to God, he will draw near to us), I realized that I may be closer to resolving some of the questions I have.

This morning, I considered that giving thanks for God is an act of drawing near to God. Look at the opposite of this action:

because, although they knew God, they did not glorify Him as God, nor were thankful, but became futile in their thoughts, and their foolish hearts were darkened. ²² Professing to be wise, they became fools, (Romans 1:21-22)

The whole passage focuses on a process. I’ve always been fascinated at the connection between a lack of thankfulness and the rejection of God. When I read this passage this morning, I realized that thanking God is a good part of the process of seeking God and should not be prevented.

What does that mean for our children praying at mealtimes? Well, I’m not going to feel uneasy if my unsaved children want to pray. I think I will be more willing to ask them to pray.

That’s one way God’s Word is changing me. How about you? Is Scripture changing you this week?Similar Posts:

• How to Draw Near to God
• Teaching Humility
• Still Teaching Repentance
• Praying for my Children
• Worry, Fear, and Knowing God

And when he was come into the ship, he that had been possessed with the devil prayed him that he might be with him. Howbeit Jesus suffered him not, but saith unto him, Go home to thy friends, and tell them how great things the Lord hath done for thee, and hath had compassion on thee. And he departed, and began to publish in Decapolis how great things Jesus had done for him: and all men did marvel. Mark 5:18-20

This is the passage that has been encouraging me in my mind, and spurring me to action as I consider how to talk about spiritual things with my neighbors. I’ve been asking myself, “Self, what has God done for you? How has he had compassion on you?” These have been good, challenging thoughts.

Because most of the neighbor mothers work full time, they have teased me about being able to do everything, and be so calm about life. I could smile and talk about my personality, or point out that one has more time if one doesn’t work full time. I could inform them the things I don’t accomplish– the struggle with laundry, with keeping the floors clean, with organizing the office that still has papers and books across the floor. I could tell them that I have hard things in my life, too, so they realize I’m not so different as they think. I’ve tried some of these awkward, not-sure-what-to-say, responses.

I am realizing that all those things are still self-focused and unsatisfying. How has God had compassion on me, and what great thing has he done? This passage helps me know what to say! Is the difference really personality? that they don’t know my struggles? Or is the God of peace at work in my life? That’s the truth I need to communicate. It is my salvation that gives me peace. God is sufficient, even when I am insufficient. This truth is immensely comforting to me. The difference is not that I’m more sufficient than my neighbors, although this is what they think right now. God makes the difference, and it is this truth that I have been trying to communicate.

And, as God often does, he points out quietly that I must be teaching these things to my children as I seek to evangelize them. They too need to know what God has done for me, and how he has had compassion on me.

How is God’s Word changing you this week? Anything big or small that you’re putting into practice? That’s wisdom!Similar Posts:

• Worry, Fear, and Knowing God
• A City that Is Set on a Hill
• “Me First”
• Wiping Yet Another Snotty Nose
• Sophisticated Whining

Only trouble… they’re not saved.

So I asked them, have you obeyed God in the matter of salvation? Now this stopped them, and they didn’t answer for a long time. Apparently, the idea that salvation is an act of obedience was new to them, and it seemed to clarify some things for them. The discussion turned to other things.

Now Lee and I have been talking about this. Is salvation a command, or an invitation? It’s interesting how many salvation verses are if/ then statements: if you confess, then I will forgive, if you come, I will give you rest. This is something we’re thinking and studying these days.

This weekend, Lee and David will be hunting together. I’m praying for the Holy Spirit to use the quiet times they have together for His glory.Similar Posts:

• Selling Salvation to Children
• Do You Forget Your Child Is Not Saved?
• The First Step of Obedience
• Describing Repentance
• Am I Pleasing the Lord?

I love to talk with my dad about prayer. We have some of the same unsettling questions, so I enjoy hearing my dad talk about his thoughts and what he’s learning and thinking about prayer. That night, we talked about prayer for the salvation of people. I asked him what he prayed for— pray for so-and-so to be saved? draw so-and-so to yourself for salvation? help him to see his need for salvation? convict him of his sin of rejecting you? and so on.

He commented that when we’re praying for others’ salvation, we should also pray for ourselves in relationship to that prayer: pray for opportunities to share the gospel, that our lives and words would not be a stumbling block, and so on. I like that.

We talked about the difficulty of importunity. (contrast importunate woman with Paul praying for his infirmity) I know for me, not seeing a quick and ready answer increases my awareness that I cannot be the Holy Spirit for my children (much as I try sometimes). I am increasingly aware of my need for God, and that salvation is not simply a logical argument agreed upon. I am reminded that the Word of God is quick and powerful, sharper than any two edged sword.

I am reminded that it is the Word of God that is able to bring our children to salvation, and I am again reminded to pray that God would help me use the Scriptures well, that I would be faithful in wielding the sword of the Spirit, that I would not be troubled by my own clumsiness (it’s not the sword of Michelle, after all).

It is good to pray.Similar Posts:

• Psalm 119 and Prayer
• "She's Just Tired"
• The First Step of Obedience
• When Do You Pray?
• Is Salvation a Command?