The King of Assyria is threatening God’s people, and good King Hezekiah is badly outnumbered.

And they said to him, “Thus says Hezekiah: ‘This day is a day of trouble and rebuke and blasphemy; for the children have come to birth, but there is no strength to bring them forth. It may be that the LORD your God will hear the words of the Rabshakeh, whom his master the king of Assyria has sent to reproach the living God, and will rebuke the words which the LORD your God has heard. Therefore lift up your prayer for the remnant that is left.’” Isaiah 37:3-4

Hezekiah recognized he was unable in his own strength to meet his powerful enemy. He compares his inability to a woman who has labored and is depleted of strength, before her baby has been born. Happily, Hezekiah didn’t stop at bemoaning his insufficiency. He says “It may be that the Lord your God will hear…. Therefore lift up your prayer for the remnant that is left.” Hezekiah calls on the Lord, and God miraculously intervenes.

I love the imagery here. I understand it! Now, today, what I’m thinking is that labor pains give us another point of comparison in the spiritual life.

Last night, Lee and I talked a bit about how a mother’s memory for pain diminishes after she gives birth. If you asked me today, I’d tell you that childbirth is no big deal, with or without pain meds (I’ve done it both ways). But I know that’s not exactly true. What is true is that the result of the pain was something gloriously exciting: the babies God gave us on those days.

I was thinking how our circumstances seem large and looming sometimes. Our children aren’t learning to be respectful as quickly as we expect. They still haven’t learned to pick up after themselves. They are easily overwhelmed and quick to take offense. We’re trying to teach them God’s Word, and even when we tell them how happy God is when they love each other, they inexplicably choose to please themselves instead!

As our children go through these bumpy stages, I’ve noticed that the memory of how challenging each stage was diminishes. It’s encouraging to me today, in the midst of today’s challenges, to know that my perception of these challenges will diminish. It will be worth it all, says the song, when we see Jesus.

Now Jesus knew that they desired to ask Him, and He said to them, “Are you inquiring among yourselves about what I said, ‘A little while, and you will not see Me; and again a little while, and you will see Me’? ²⁰ Most assuredly, I say to you that you will weep and lament, but the world will rejoice; and you will be sorrowful, but your sorrow will be turned into joy. ²¹ A woman, when she is in labor, has sorrow because her hour has come; but as soon as she has given birth to the child, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a human being has been born into the world. ²² Therefore you now have sorrow; but I will see you again and your heart will rejoice, and your joy no one will take from you. John 16:19-22

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• One child saying to a friend, “Let’s go away. We HATE him. [about another child]” Putting off making phone calls to friends yet another week. So long that now she’s embarrassed to call.
  
• One child trying to discern how appropriate a request is before obeying.Trying to figure out the future before she stops worrying about it.
• Lots of times starting to put something away (after being reminded) but dropping it on a chair somewhere. (They have indeed been told this is not obedience) Lots of times starting to put something away but dropping it on a chair somewhere. Sneak a look in the study.
  
• Lots of messes that do not get cleaned up. A new activity literally every three minutes, complete with its own mess. Lots of messes that do not get cleaned up. Side of the bed. High countertop. laundry on the couch. winter clothes on the guest bed.
• Needing to be prodded repeatedly to clean up the room. When mother helps, the children stop working. See above. Add exercise to the list.
• Whining and tears when a sibling doesn’t give a desired object to someone else. Acting, um, different, when I don’t get my way.
• Siblings who hang onto said object just because the other child wants it. Knowing  that if there were only one coffee left, I’d drink it.
• Siblings who tell a child to go away because they’re making a surprise, then spend that time playing with the other child. Hiding in the bedroom to have some alone time.
• Children who play instead of napping, then fall asleep in evening church. Staying up well past midnight when husband is on call. Then being exhausted the next day.
• Children (older than 2) who pull the dogs tail, kick the dog, and forget to feed her. Not all at once, thankfully. Poor thing. Forgetting to take children to the pet store to get crickets for the lizard. Several days in a row. On more than one occasion.
• Gloating and bragging. Saying I told you so to my children. Talking about myself far too much in social situations.
• Interrupting. Then irritation when someone else interrupts. Interrupting. Then irritation when someone else interrupts.

I didn’t start my child list intending to write one for myself. But… conviction started to set in, and my conscience wrote this post, basically. Thankfully, God gives grace to the humble. I need God’s help! More on that point tomorrow!Similar Posts:

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The first time I tried to teach David to obey mom (I thought it would take a ten minute “training session”), I realized my mom couldn’t possibly have taught me what to do in every situation. I had a fabulous example of a mother who passed on a love for wisdom, but she couldn’t bestow all the wisdom I would need. I’m learning that feeling like I don’t have the answers isn’t a bad place to be if that feeling drives me to my knees and to the Bible.

I’m struggling with understanding my children. How do I respond to my private child who doesn’t like to talk about feelings? How do I help my kinesthetic learner to touch the right things (and not the butter in the dish that feels so much lotion)? How can I possibly keep my children from feeling left out? How do I deal with friends?

My attempts to understand and teach are often awkward. I try to ask good questions, but sometimes finish feeling like I went about it all wrong. I try one thing, but find I’m exacerbating the problem. I want a quick solution. I want the lessons learned without the need for review or long study. What I really want is to be done with my awkward attempts. I want to be perfect.

But, if God didn’t allow me to learn in this way, I’d avoid crucial growth. Like the Israelites, God leads me along a longer road to sanctification because of his compassion and mercy. I can’t fret when I find myself struggling with the best way of applying Scripture to a certain situation. I wrestle, even agonize, but I cannot fret or become discontent as though all the really spiritual moms have all the answers memorized. Scripture doesn’t work that way. Wisdom comes with a pick and lots of sweat and muscle that takes time to develop. This is true for all of us, no matter how many children we have, not matter how old they are, no matter how godly our own parents were, or how much scripture we know. (Obeying what we know is a good place to start practicing wisdom.)

So don’t despair or feel like you’re all alone in the battle. It is a good fight, and a challenging one. When we find ourselves lacking, we must run to God, who promises to supply every need. When the answer to our question doesn’t come right away, we must not assume that God is ignoring us. We must keep asking, keep seeking, keep knocking.

I think we’re learning that lesson. Tomorrow I want to talk about those perfect children of ours.

“Then it came to pass, when Pharaoh had let the people go, that God did not lead them by way of the land of the Philistines, although that was near; for God said, “Lest perhaps the people change their minds when they see war, and return to Egypt.” ¹⁸ So God led the people around by way of the wilderness of the Red Sea. And the children of Israel went up in orderly ranks out of the land of Egypt.
And Moses took the bones of Joseph with him, for he had placed the children of Israel under solemn oath, saying, “God will surely visit you, and you shall carry up my bones from here with you.”
So they took their journey from Succoth and camped in Etham at the edge of the wilderness. And the LORD went before them by day in a pillar of cloud to lead the way, and by night in a pillar of fire to give them light, so as to go by day and night. He did not take away the pillar of cloud by day or the pillar of fire by night from before the people.” Exodus 13:17-18

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I’m merely reminding myself of definitions here. We know how important definitions are, don’t we? My mother gently reminded me of the distinction when I was talking about the overwhelming task of shaping desires and occupying minds. “You’re not a babysitter. Being a mother is a lot more work!”

On our street, we have several families who employ babysitters all day for the school age children while the parents work. It’s been interesting to me to ask myself as I watch these sitters interact with the children, “Am I seeing my job as a glorified day care worker? Am I merely watching my children to make sure they don’t hurt themselves, each other, or the house?” These are good babysitters, but I am not a babysitter.

I am different. I have a vision for the future. A mandate. A responsibility to make choices that are best for my children, not merely what make me feel important or successful (by the world or other “Bible” moms).

It’s not smothering children to show them ways they can occupy themselves while they play. It takes time to set up a new game, prepare for a messy craft, or work out the details of a play (complete with costumes and props). I’m not merely filling the moment; I’m preparing them for when I won’t be there. I’m deliberately working my way out of a job.

That’s all for now.

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First, I’ve been working on being a good steward of the time God has given me. We’ve been talking about money, and how important it is to be a good steward of it. But I’ve also been given a great deal of time. Am I being a good steward of what God has given me? That thought has been driving my decisions this week, and it’s been helpful.

Then he which had received the one talent came and said, Lord, I knew thee that thou art an hard man, reaping where thou hast not sown, and gathering where thou hast not strawed: And I was afraid, and went and hid thy talent in the earth: lo, there thou hast that is thine. His lord answered and said unto him, Thou wicked and slothful servant, thou knewest that I reap where I sowed not, and gather where I have not strawed: Thou oughtest therefore to have put my money to the exchangers, and then at my coming I should have received mine own with usury. Take therefore the talent from him, and give it unto him which hath ten talents. Matthew 25:24-28Nevertheless the solid foundation of God stands, having this seal: “The Lord knows those who are His,” and, “Let everyone who names the name of Christ^[a] depart from iniquity.”
²⁰ But in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and silver, but also of wood and clay, some for honor and some for dishonor. ²¹ Therefore if anyone cleanses himself from the latter, he will be a vessel for honor, sanctified and useful for the Master, prepared for every good work. II Timothy 2:19-21

I’ve also been working on complaining. Today I started singing with Laurel the Steve Green Scripture song: “Do everything without complaining” and I realized how important it was that I don’t complain about my children in particular. It seems for a stay at home mom that the difficulties of motherhood are great, and the only happiness we have is when they’re quiet or sleeping. But I’ve listened to mothers who don’t stay at home and don’t intend to, and part of the problem is that the message they hear from many stay at home moms is how wonderful life would be if only our children didn’t bother us.

I think we don’t intend to communicate this attitude, but it bears thinking about the blessing of staying home with children. Having my children at home is a privilege that not every woman is able to enjoy.

• I make my own schedule.
• I have time to make dinners that I like to eat (and I’m not always shooing children out to get it done fast).
• I get to comfort my children when they trip over things and skin their knees.
• We talk in the car about how glad mommy is when she prays with daddy. That leads to a long conversation about their own future spouses. I’ve learned that those kinds of conversations don’t happen on demand. (“Tell me what you’ve been thinking about today” doesn’t always work for some of my children.)
• I’m free to stop at the park on a whim. I have time to make cookies for potlucks.
• I have time to attend a ladies’ Bible study without taking away from the time I have with my husband.
• As I think through the challenges I have to solve my children’s spiritual problems, I learn about myself. Many are the times God has used something I want to teach my children, to remind me that I am deficient in the same way.
• And God uses my children to teach me about my husband and how I can love and follow him better. As I run my household, I realize that I have a sphere of authority that is God-given. I learn to appreciate the challenges my husband has as a leader, and I am humbled when I realize how often I fall short of being a good follower.

Yes, I have challenges.

• Scheduling my own day means that I have to work at not wasting time.
• Being in the house all day means I have to work more at keeping it clean.
• I have to work at keeping my mind busy and challenged.
• At times, the whining and crying can be annoying
• Fatigue is sometimes constant enough to feel like I’m slightly losing my sanity.
• Changing diapers gets old.
• So does solving arguments about whose turn it is to play with some toy. The same toy. The same children. The same argument. Over. and Over.
• My children sometimes cause me to cry out to God because I’m helpless and don’t know what to do. Wait. That’s not a liability, is it? Sometimes I forget.

These are all small things when placed next to all the good stuff. How thankful I am for the ability to stay home. Let me never forget that all jobs have tedium, but not all jobs have the same advantages.

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Summer is over, and nearly all that was left of the garden were our pumpkins, which stayed small and hadn’t turned orange yet. Pesky pumpkins! Yesterday I gave up and brought them all in. I caught a fruity whiff, and was disgusted that they had started to rot and never did turn orange. Maybe I had watered them too much. Maybe I planted them too late. They sat on the counter all afternoon.

Last night on a whim, I sliced one open and discovered that instead of pumpkins, they were melons.

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It usually happens when I have a good idea or thought, and then I try to think of a Bible verse to go with that idea. Maybe it’s a way to solve a parenting problem, or a solution to an interpersonal challenge. Sometimes I find a Bible verse, and sometimes I don’t. If I write about something I’ve learned this way, it feels backwards to me, like I am fitting God’s Word to my ideas, instead of letting God’s Word work first. Somehow, this seems like a “lesser” way to think. Today I wondered whether the idea first, God’s Word second,  isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Of course, I should be saturating my mind with Scripture, since God is clear that meditation in His Word is a priority; I expect Scripture to bear on my actions and confirm or convict. Why, though, would I think that in essence measuring my thoughts by the standard in the Bible is unwise, particularly if I’m committed to submitting to God’s leading?

Today I was thinking again about eating right, exercising, and getting enough sleep. Part of what I’m thinking about is when my lack of eating right (like today when I had three or four cookies for breakfast and a coke for lunch before coming home and eating a carrot) or exercising truly affects how I interact with my children. Eating right is a good thing to do, obviously, but I started wondering– is this biblical and wise, or just good?

I confess that I never did think about Scriptures for eating right, because I got started thinking about the process of thinking through something biblically. Nevertheless, I did eat better yesterday and today. Similar Posts:

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I can be a good mom without being a godly mom. I can expend all my energy trying to be a good mom and miss the most important part of all.

I think if I’m a godly mom, I’ll be a good mom. (although I think I might still struggle with an unrealistic ideal that’s impossible to achieve). Maybe I can say it like this: If I’m growing to be more Christlike as a mom, I’ll also be growing to be a better mom in general.

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For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another.

For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

But if ye bite and devour one another, take heed that ye be not consumed one of another.

This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh.Galatians 5:13-16

In college, I used to wrestle with the Christian terminology “I was doing it in the flesh.” I used to sit at the piano, needing to practice, with my hands outstretched, thinking to myself, “How can I NOT play the piano in the flesh?” At some point, I had to physically move my hands.

The idea of walking in the spirit is a followup to my ponderings. Last week I struggled with both my desire to right, and the realization that I was doing all the right things, but obviously not manifesting the fruit of the spirit at the same time. I think it’s safe to conclude that I was not walking with the spirit, and I was accomplishing things “in the flesh.”

Where am I going wrong? I’m only just beginning the process of thinking it through, and it’s late so I know I’m not thinking totally straight (that’s part of the problem!)

In the mornings, I’m reading my Bible, I think genuinely renewing my mind and putting on the mind of Christ. Somehow, though, I’ve been forgetting everything I’ve read and pondered shortly after I close my Bible and track down a child with a smelly diaper.

Daniel had a habit of praying three times a day. Perhaps I need to deliberately incorporate specific times of renewing my mind. I don’t think it has to be long. I read about a mother who leaves her daily planner open throughout the day so she doesn’t lose track of what she has to accomplish. I like that idea, but I wonder if having the Bible open all day might serve the same function.

This is what I’ve been working on this week– putting Scripture deliberately and physically in my path throughout the day. Maybe I also need to be more deliberate in using mealtime prayers to renew my mind with the gospel.

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A little while ago, he had a young patient die. After he gave the orders to stop medical intervention, he prayed beside the bed of this child.  One of the things he said was “Thank you for allowing us to serve you in life. Thank you for allowing us to serve you through death.” This portion was puzzling for some people present, who asked him about this.

You see, doctors (and other people in helping professions) often choose their occupation because they like helping people. They work for the good feelings that happen when someone is helped. Sometimes the outcome is bad, though. A patient dies. A counselee rejects wise counsel and suffers loss. A child fails a class. These bad outcomes leave us feeling cold inside and it’s easy to be discouraged and lose heart when we face them. When Lee thanked God for the opportunity to serve Him in a bad outcome, he was giving a more important reason for being a doctor than simply a desire to help people. If our whole motivation for action, any action, is to feel good, then we’re going to spend a good deal of our lives miserable and defeated. When Jesus told the parable of the talents (Matthew 25), the servants were rewarded for their faithfulness, not merely their results. In Lee’s prayer, he was demonstrating a belief that faithfulness as a doctor can glorify God, regardless of the outcome.

Lee and I then discussed how parenting seems to work the same way. We Christian parents who desire earnestly God’s wisdom in rearing our children often make our choices and live our lives for the good outcome that we desire: children who grow up to love God and walk in His ways. When our children make wrong choices, whether small or great, we feel defeated. I know I’ve felt discouraged and fearful anticipating choices that haven’t even been made yet! I am reminding myself tonight that I can rest in God’s care, acknowledging Him in all my ways, and then trusting that He will indeed direct my paths. I must be diligent to be faithful, but when I do what is right, God is glorified, whether my children do right or not.

I Corinthians 10:31  So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.

Perfect love does cast out fear. The fear and worry I have leaves me when I keep my eyes on the right goal. Parenting isn’t as hard when I live my life this way. Here is one passage that Lee shared with me:

The end of all things is at hand; therefore be self-controlled and sober-minded for the sake of your prayers. Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.  Show hospitality to one another without grumbling.  As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace: whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies—in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen. I Peter 4:7-11

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