As4Me Thinking through the process of finding wisdom.

I’ve been sleeping with all three children in my room. Tom and Martha have been here this month and as they left my Uncle came to do some remodeling for my parents. The playroom is now empty, so perhaps we’ll use the playroom as their bedroom (the idea of carrying Laurel up and down the stairs doesn’t sound good, but I should get over that, I think).

The last few nights have been beyond frustrating trying to get them all asleep without arguing and hitting, without staying up until midnight playing, and without someone crying every five minutes for sundry needs.

Last night as I went to bed, I realized that part of my frustration is my desire to say “Go to bed” and not have to think about children again until morning. Indeed, in general, under normal circumstances, our children have historically gone to bed reasonably well (although we do experience challenging seasons from time to time).

Tonight I remembered that there is much out of sorts with my children. I put them to bed, read to them for about forty-five minutes, and prayed with them. I held Laurel’s hand and kissed everyone goodnight. I felt pleased with myself that I had compassion on my children, I overcame my anger, I planned ahead not to give a place for my flesh.

But they did not go to sleep.  And I was challenged again. Finally in desperation I asked my mom to hold Laurel so the other two could go to sleep. It’s ten thirty, and she’s still awake, but the other two are asleep. I’m afraid that I’m going to need to go to sleep when they do.

Then again, maybe that’s not such a bad idea, since I’d have a space of time to read my Bible for a good amount of time. It might also be good since my Dad should probably be in bed earlier and he stays up if we want to talk with him. Things to think about.

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Continue reading Nighttime Stress

Yesterday, Bethel wanted to know why she had to take a nap.

I told her she needed one. End of discussion.

Not really. Actually, I explained that Bethel needs naps because sleep is a gift from God that will help her do right. I told her that as she was at that moment, she was whiny and complaining. Going to sleep would help her choose not to be whiny and complaining.

I could say this because God is helping me to see the importance of going to sleep when I am able and needing to.  When I do this, I’m not making provision for my flesh, and I’m using a God-given resource for fighting my sinful desires.

But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires. Romans 13:14

Now I need more wisdom. Bethel asked if she could go without a nap. I told her if she could do right without a nap then she could go without one. I am not sure I want to do this experiment, since I already know the outcome.  I suppose we’ll wait and see.

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Continue reading Why Do I Have to Take a Nap?

At this moment our children are tucked in bed and talking quietly. I’ll come in the room in a bit to tell them to go to sleep.

I have always felt rather smug (a dangerous emotion) when considering all those children who obviously manipulated their parents into getting another drink, another kiss, another answer to a question. Our children have always gone to bed without fuss. Of late, however, Bethel, in particular, seems to have developed a difficulty going to sleep. I’ll never judge another’s child again. [if you believe that, then you clearly do not understand the depravity of a mother]

As is my custom, when I consider a problem, I look for developmental or environmental causes (or motivations) before considering a spiritual cause (or motivation). Of course, a problem may have all three components, but I try to take care of the first two before tackling the third.

In this case, I remember that the problem started when we took away the pacifiers. At that point, Bethel didn’t know how to put herself to sleep. Shortly thereafter, we put her in David’s room, because we thought David would be less distracting throughout the night than Laurel. Bethel seems to have discovered that wiggling (putting her feet on the wall, putting her feet through the slats on the foot of the bed, etc.) helps her to stay awake. I am not sure if she’s trying to stay up, or just doesn’t know how to go to sleep. She’s also learned to find my room in the middle of the night. Last night, she came in my room. I scared. I sleep with you. I tried letting her sleep beside me last night (I’m desperate for sleep lately), but she wiggled too much and I sent her to bed. Forty-five minutes later when I got up to check on a crying Laurel, I am startled by a chipper, Hi Mommy! I guess Laurel woke her up and she was coming to check on her. Now if they were in the same room… Bethel could put the pacifier in Laurel’s mouth. That’s a thought, but I don’t think Bethel can do that unless she climbs in the crib. Not a good idea.

David is a little better, but probably only because he’s too afraid to get up and walk to our room in the dark. He just wants to talk: What is this song about? I’m really thirsty. Do we have any wings so I can make an airplane in the morning? Bethel isn’t feeling good. Bethel is keeping me awake. Can I get a drink in the morning? You get the idea. If you ignore him, he’ll just keep calling “Mommmmmmm” over and over. I don’t want to completely ignore him because I do want to be available for a real problem (I consider a nightmare, for example, to be a legitimate reason for asking for mom at his age). So I don’t want to say, “I’m not going to answer you.” David responds very well to talking through a procedure, so I might try that. “Here is what you cannot call mom for. Here is what you can.” [I just tried this. I told him he could call for mom if he was hurt or had a scary dream. He told me his big toe hurt.] Now he’s crying. Sigh. Bethel is now up to tell me that David is crying…
Think merciful thoughts… as I head off to the bedroom… again.

… Mom… Can I make some wings for an airplane in the morning?

I hope this is not another very long night. I better get to bed.

Mommy, Bethel is stuck.

Get Bethel unstuck.

Yawn and sigh.

I need to stop proofreading. There’s Laurel, who for some reason isn’t sleeping well this week. If you see any typos, just chalk it up to the result of sleep deprivation.

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Continue reading Realtime Bedtime Analysis

After driving all day yesterday, we arrived home. Lee left this morning for five days (medical training).
Tonight Bethel is having a hard time going to sleep. She’s wiggling and being noisy, both actions that are quite effective in keeping herself awake. I disciplined her for disobeying (getting out of bed when I told her not to), but spanking her for every action that keeps her awake isn’t an option.

I sat with her for awhile and practiced whispering. I told her that being as quiet as a mouse would help her fall asleep. Then I said she could whisper like a mouse (who has a very small voice because he is so tiny), but not talk out loud. She liked that idea. We’ll see how it works.

The other problem I’ve noticed is that David does a good job of letting me know when Bethel is not doing right, but I don’t want her to grow up hating her brother because he’s always telling on her. It’s handy to know, but I probably should simply sit by the door instead of doing my own work or sitting at the computer. Sometimes we don’t want to do the right thing.

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Continue reading Bedtime Wiggles

There’s a tension between my mommy instinct which can hardly bear to hear my baby cry at night, and my thirst for sleep. Without the mommy instinct, I’d not care if my baby truly needed me. Without the thirst for sleep, I’d never push her out of the nest. I suppose I need both.
Maybe I’m just not rational in the middle of the night. I need a bit more  sleep. It’s a recurring obsession these days.

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Continue reading Midnight Musing