As4Me Thinking through the process of finding wisdom.

It’s Wisdom Wednesday, and here’s the good question I try to ask myself at least once a week:

How is Scripture specifically changing me this week?

No good being vague: I’ve been more diligent… I’ve been more patient…

Better to be specific: When I started off angry because I wasn’t getting my way, I remembered what God said in such and such verse and changed my attitude. Or whatever.

I guess I should have waited to post yesterday’s post today, because that’s the biggest thing I can think of. God helped me turn around and make right choices about how I used my time. My day went well, actually. Incidentally, I kind of figure I really was walking in the spirit, because I ended up several times stopping being “productive” to do kid stuff: long talk with David about guilt/ sadness/ salvation, and later in the evening my children asked me to stop cleaning and play the piano for them. Several times I had to decide (deliberately) to serve my children instead of putting them off or asking a sibling to take care of the problem.

God helped me to evaluate the importance of those interruptions (another time, and perhaps the right decision would be different), but I am encouraged since sometimes when I am diligent I know I’m not walking in spirit because I’m irritable! Now that I think of it, those “interruptions” were truly building my house wisely, although at the moment I simply stopped what I was doing to do them. God did answer my prayer for wisdom.

And my last thought of the day was: Now, the wisest thing to do with my time is go to sleep! The sleep of a righteous person is sweet. That’s true. I like going to sleep when I’ve done right and been diligent.

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After I posted “Questions for Mentors,” I received an unexpected phone call. After chatting for several minutes and catching up on the news, my friend (who happens to be an “older woman”) asked me whether I’d be open to some advice about keeping my house clean. In light of what I’ve been meditating on, I said YES!

She mentioned that she probably wouldn’t have offered, except she knew I have asked prayer about it, so she knew I probably wouldn’t be offended. This is the second or third time someone has poked a bit into my life as a direct result of my willingness to ask for prayer about a sin I was struggling with. It was encouraging to be reminded that asking for prayer is a really important part of how the local church body works together.

Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. James 5:16

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One thing I’ve learned from the locals here in San Antonio is that summers are unbearably hot. Seems people here love to talk about their misery, and I cannot say how many times I’ve heard about last summer’s heat wave (I think 12 weeks straight over a hundred degrees, with high humidity, of course).

At Ironwood Camp in the Mojave desert, new counselors who come are often shocked at the heat. The counselors’ attitudes can make a significant difference in the attitude of the campers, so they have strict instructions not to draw attention to the heat. They are not allowed to use the word hot.

Why ever not, do you think? Not because of draconian leadership, but because the camp directors know that when a counselor shrugs off the weather and decides to have a good time with the campers, the campers are more likely to shrug off the weather and have a good time. Even something as simple as saying “It’s really hot out here” can begin to change the atmosphere from excitement to misery.

I have noticed this influence with my own children. My commenting on the weather seems to result in more complaining and whining from them. I can simply say, “Wow, it is hot out here” and my children start crying and whining the minute we leave the house. I began to realize that what felt like an innocent comment on the weather really was complaining itself.

So I’ve been experimenting. I explained to the children that the heat and humidity is the reason they see so many butterflies here. And the heat and the humidity is the reason for the particular ecosystem God created here. People enjoy the flowers and birds, not remembering that without the weather, those flowers and birds would be different. I’ve told them how silly this inconsistency is. Yes, it’s hot, I’ve told them. We do what we can to minimize the heat, like wearing hats, putting a blanket on Laurel’s car seat, and using car windshield shades. But I have also told them I’ve decided not to use the word hot when referring to the weather. I’ve been giving thanks for the heat and humidity (and not merely a cooler summer this year, or the blessing of an air conditioner). It has been good, not only helping my attitude, but also my children’s.

Do all things without murmurings and disputings:

That ye may be blameless and harmless, the sons of God, without rebuke, in the midst of a crooked and perverse nation, among whom ye shine as lights in the world; Philippians 2:14-15

Notice one result from obeying verse 14: a good testimony among unbelievers. Isn’t it amazing that something as simple as not complaining can be so powerful? Makes sense. Do we have a good God, or don’t we? When we complain, we’re telling the world that God isn’t good, nor is He powerful. Some testimony that is.

The heavens declare the glory of God;
And the firmament shows His handiwork.
² Day unto day utters speech,
And night unto night reveals knowledge.
³ There is no speech nor language
Where their voice is not heard.
⁴ Their line^[a] has gone out through all the earth,
And their words to the end of the world. Psalm 19:1-3

The unbelief that results in complaining is a battle we all fight against, and I know that complaining isn’t going to go away simply by eliminating the word hot. Here is the question I’ve been thinking about, and one  I want to ask my children today: What does the heat say about God’s character? I don’t think they’ll understand, but I want them to see this verse and understand that God’s creation reveals something about who he is.

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What We’re Working On This Week

David— still getting to the bottom of how he thinks, getting him to talk about the SS lesson is a challenge, teasing his sisters (knowing when to stop, how to discern the right time to tease, etc.), still wanting to discover what he’s thinking about salvation.

Bethel— working through the stress of new environment (she’s like her mommy and doesn’t like surprises), working on some lapses in whining and obedience, being slow to anger

Laurel— working on whining and obedience, being slow to anger.

One of the advantages of living in a small space is that we have lots of opportunities to practice love, giving preference to one another, treating others like we want to be treated, and so on. When every child has his own room and lots of space, it’s easy to think everyone gets along when in reality, they’re just living separate lives. Keeping them busy also makes a difference in their attitudes.

That’s all for now. Hopefully, we’ll be in permanent housing soon and I’ll have my candy thermometer again. It’s time for a candy making day!

One of the military spouse I was talking with last weekend commented “I love being in a new place. There are few commitments and you don’t know anyone, so you tend to slow down and see things you might normally miss.” I thought that was a great perspective. I was interested to notice how that one positive comment encouraged me so.

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For several months, I’ve been thinking on a portion of Psalm 48. Every so often, I’ll go back and look at it. It’s a curious perspective, and I’ve been wondering about how it fits in my life. There’s a strong correlation to Psalm 78, so I’ve been particularly interested in how it fits me as a mother teaching my children about God.

The writer is talking about Zion, or Jerusalem, and what it tells us about our great God. I’ve been fascinated with the physical evidence of God’s blessing and how it can be a tool for showing children that God’s provision in the past (“as we have heard”) also carries into the present (“so we have seen”). Watch:

As we have heard,
So we have seen
In the city of the LORD of hosts,
In the city of our God:
God will establish it forever.  Selah

⁹ We have thought, O God, on Your lovingkindness,
In the midst of Your temple.
¹⁰ According to Your name, O God,
So is Your praise to the ends of the earth;
Your right hand is full of righteousness.
¹¹ Let Mount Zion rejoice,
Let the daughters of Judah be glad,
Because of Your judgments.

¹² Walk about Zion,
And go all around her.
Count her towers;
¹³ Mark well her bulwarks;
Consider her palaces;
That you may tell it to the generation following.
¹⁴ For this is God,
Our God forever and ever;
He will be our guide
Even to death.^[a]

For the writer of this Psalm, Jerusalem was evidence of God’s faithful leading. The writer tells us parents to pay attention so that we can show our children what God has done for us.

For me this week, I’ve been attempting to put this idea into practice by verbalizing my thankfulness for God’s physical provisions. I’ve been asking our children what they are thankful for on a regular basis. I’ve been showing them how much God has given us. And even when God doesn’t give us what we want, we can still thank him for what he has given us.

Yesterday, Bethel wanted a parking place close to the front. Laurel wanted a parking place in the shade. David suggested that God might give us both things. But in fact, we had a sunny parking spot not very close to the front. Sometimes God does this. It’s a good thing we didn’t have to walk, though. And it’s a wonderful thing that the commissary is air-conditioned! When we are grieved with what we don’t have, we can’t see what we do have. In a sense, being thankful for everything is an act of faith.  It’s an amazing thing when God takes something unpleasant and makes it good. The challenge is to be thankful when it still looks unpleasant.

When we finally move into our house, you can be sure that we’ll be walking around and counting the windows and doors. For now, we’re counting other things.

How is Scripture changing you this week?

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Continue reading Faith and Thankfulness

She’s patient with her children when they are slow to learn what she wants them to learn. She keeps teaching them what is right, confident that God will be faithful to bring the fruit of repentance in their lives in His time. She doesn’t react to their sin in anger, and she’s genuinely joyful as she goes about her day, managing her household. Her life reflects a desire to serve her husband and children, even when it means putting her own interests aside for a time. She has a sense of peace with who she is, and she’s not worried that she doesn’t look like any other supermom.

Let’s ask her the secret of her success. What do you think she will say?

What’s my secret? I’m not sure what you mean. Oh…….. you mean the secret of the love, joy, and peace? There’s more, too! Longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self control. I couldn’t be a good mother without those things, but it’s not my secret. It’s the Holy Spirit working in my life.

We don’t have to be perfect. We don’t have to be superwoman. It’s not magic, but it is hard work. It’s called walking in the spirit, and it’s something that every child of God who has the Holy Spirit inside her has access to. I used to think that was something unattainable, something mystical that I had to wait for until God gave it to me. I’m learning that this is not the case.

Compare these two passages from Paul. They are what we call parallel passages– Paul is telling two different groups of people the same thing. But he doesn’t use exactly the same words. Looking at the different ways Paul uses to explain something can help us understand him better. Look for the main difference that you see:

And do not be drunk with wine, in which is dissipation; but be filled with the Spirit, ¹⁹ speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord, ²⁰ giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, ²¹ submitting to one another in the fear of God. [That's from Ephesians 5:18-21.]

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. ¹⁷ And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him. [That's from Colossians 3:16-17]

See the command in the Ephesians passage: be filled in the spirit. That’s a little ambiguous, perhaps. We don’t know how to do that. But the second passage gives us a little more insight– Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom. That makes more sense to me. Why? Because God is very clear that the tool the Holy Spirit uses is the word of God (remember– it’s the sword of the spirit).

So. Does that mean that I need to be spending five hours a day reading my Bible? Perhaps. But look back at the passages. How much scripture isn’t really the issue there. It’s the essence of wisdom– how scripture changes us, how the Holy Spirit controls us. And make no mistake: walking in the spirit is a habit. A spirit-enabled habit to be sure, but a habit nonetheless.

I don’t always walk in the spirit. It usually starts in the morning, when I drag my feet. when I spend more time than I should on the computer before the day gets rolling. When I leave dishes in the sink, or a bed unmade. I know I’m not walking in the spirit when I find myself irritable with my children, and when I worry about what the future holds. One wrong choice begets another.

But… one right action begets another, too. Getting up on time because it is right makes it easier for me to spend some time with God and get ready for my day. When I’m not distracted by the computer, I’m far more likely to sit down with my children and read the Bible to them during breakfast. I’m not as likely to “take a break” if I determine to wash the dishes and clean the kitchen. Sometimes I have to leave the house to walk in the spirit, and sometimes I have to stay home. Sometimes I collapse with exhaustion by noon. Often I have to ask forgiveness many times before noon. Walking in the spirit is hard work!

Pray for me, that I will walk in the spirit today.

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A conversation with my three year old:

“Laurel, what did you do just now?”

spit on Bethel.

I see. Why did you spit on Bethel?

I just did. [i.e., no reason]“Had Bethel been mean to you or done something you didn’t like?”

[torrent of information. Bethel had indeed been provoking.]

Do you know why spitting is a bad thing to do?

no

Do you remember the bad people who killed Jesus? They spit on him. Did they do that because they loved Jesus or hated him?

[yes, I know I'm seeding the question. She knows bad men don't love Jesus. This is intentional manipulation.]

they hated him.

This is why we don’t spit on people. Does spitting show love to Bethel?

no.

[And there you have it. We'll see if it comes up again. I'm not sure where the preoccupation with spit came from. I was pleased though, to have a Bible example showing clearly the motive behind some spitting and certainly what seemed to be the motivation in our household.]

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Well, we’re officially relocated to San Antonio. Although moving in the military isn’t as bad as moving in the civilian world (primarily because somebody packs you up and delivers your belongings to your new house, at their expense), it is still a major upheaval. We still don’t have renters in our house, and we are still in temporary housing (called TLF in the US Air Force world). On this base, we’re in a one bedroom apartment with pull out couch in the living room, a full kitchen, and a bathroom. The table is a ledge— fits the children, but not us, so we tend to eat on the couch in the living room. Worst of all, our dog Mollie isn’t allowed so she has to stay in a kennel.

People have asked me, how are your children handling the move? Here is what I want to tell them:

They are doing fine. They are a little more quick to anger, easily offended, unsure of boundaries, and a bit fearful of the unknown. It’s stressful, but it’s not unbearable, and in some ways it’s a grand adventure. In spite of the changes, they are taking their cues from mom and dad. We are the ones who set the tone here. So we intend to dwell on the good and not the stress. God helps children as well as adults to trust him, and we have found him faithful to do this.

• We talk repeatedly about how God put us here, like Asaph tells us to do in Psalm 78. I feel like a broken record, but it’s good for me and them to remind them: God has a house for us; we just haven’t found it yet. God put us in a state that has beautiful birds, didn’t he? God always leads us when we put him first; that’s why mommy and daddy are praying for wisdom to know where to live. That’s why mommy and daddy are spending so much time looking at houses. With these comments, we’re reminding them that God is actively involved in their lives, and that his direction is good.
• In our prayers, we’ve thanked God for his provision in the past, present, and future. Thank you for leading us to New Mexico, for leading us to a good church there. Thank you for our friends. Thank you for where you’ve sent us now. Thank you for the house you have for us and so on. The other night, Laurel prayed and thanked God for the TLF. Lee and I looked at each other and smiled. Truly– TLF could have been full, and we could be living in a small hotel room without a kitchen. We had been grumbling privately to ourselves about renters who backed out at the last minute, of obstacles, of Mollie in a kennel. Thankfulness reminds us that God has not forgotten us, that God is not capriciously withholding good. It helps mommy and daddy to trust, and when we repeat God’s blessings to our children, we are strengthened ourselves.
• We’ve reminded our children that they can be both sad and miss their friends, and happy at the new place God has placed us. Children quickly perceive fake cheerfulness. On the other hand, our wallowing in their sadness and the headache of moving likewise gives children a false picture of reality. Showing them that humans can feel more than one emotion at a time is giving them truth that they need to understand what they’re feeling and put it into the perspective of eternity. We’ve taken them to Philippians 1, where Paul’s longing for his brothers and sisters in Philippi motivate him to thank God for them and pray for them.
• We talk constantly about what’s going to happen next. For months we’ve been talking about a new place. We went early with our children to look for a church. It would have been much easier to leave our children behind when we went to San Antonio, but in the long run I’m glad we didn’t. As we talk and explain the process, they settle down. They wanted to know what was happening to our belongings, where they were, if the workers would play with their toys, if we were in a new house for good. What I discovered was that responding to them was more important than knowing the unknowable. For example– it’s stressful that we don’t know where we’re going to live. But we have explained that mom and dad are looking for the right house. We talked about the criteria– we are looking for a house that’s a wise use of God’s money, a house that we can use to serve the Lord with, a house that will be good for our family (including pets). Giving them this kind of information often before they ask has eased their minds, even in the midst of tremendous uncertainty. We know that as believers, we walk by faith and not by sight (II Corinthians 5:7). Nevertheless, our faith is not blind. We can truly rest in uncertainty because of our knowledge of God. Likewise, we give our children knowledge as a means of loving them and helping them to grow in their ability to trust their parents and God.
• Our children have needed many more hugs and physical closeness. I was with the children in the car, waiting for Lee to run an errand, when Laurel said quietly, “I miss our church people in New Mexico.” Comments like these remind me that the quick tears and tempers have a confounding factor, so I’m much more likely than normal to stop and address the whole issue, and not merely the anger or whining. On the other hand, I’ve had lots more than normal opportunities to deal with conflict and whining. Remember our Good Shepherd? He gently leads his young.
• We’ve also kept the children busy. We spend several hours a day at the sand park near us. The girls have enjoyed helping with the laundry (the laundry room has front loading machines that they can reach easily). David has helped his dad run errands and work on the car a bit. Philippians 4:8 tells us that part of thinking right is filling our minds with good, profitable things, not merely emptying our minds of complaining and fear.

When Paul talked about his trials, he didn’t minimize or hide them. He did put them into the perspective of eternity. Each Christian faces difficulty in some fashion or another. We should not fear suffering or discomfort. Pray for me that I will be able to see those obstacles in the light of eternity, and then share that perspective with our children.

II Corinthians 4:7-18

But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us. We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed— always carrying about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body. For we who live are always delivered to death for Jesus’ sake, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. So then death is working in us, but life in you.

And since we have the same spirit of faith, according to what is written, “I believed and therefore I spoke,”we also believe and therefore speak, knowing that He who raised up the Lord Jesus will also raise us up with Jesus, and will present us with you. For all things are for your sakes, that grace, having spread through the many, may cause thanksgiving to abound to the glory of God.

Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.

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I’m reading John 6 today, and I read about Jesus feeding the five thousand. Jesus asked Philip where he was going to get enough food to feed the people.

I was reminded that Jesus was teaching his disciples two things. First, that Jesus is the source of all our needs. Second, that Jesus is primarily concerned with meeting our spiritual needs. We can see this concern in his impatience with the disciples who could see only the physical.

So I asked myself this morning, Self, what are you primarily concerned about? And to be honest, although there are periods of my life where I am more concerned about spiritual needs, I’m somewhat overwhelmed by the physical needs, and that’s nearly all I have been praying about lately.

I needed my mind to be renewed by God’s truth. May I seek first the kingdom of God in my prayer life. God knows what I need physically, and he cares more about my physical needs than the sparrows. I still have much to do, and God is good to remind me that he cares about those things too. But life is more than renting a house out, or finding a house, or adjusting to a new work schedule of my husband, or wrestling with civilizing my children. All these things consume unsaved mamas, too. I need Christ. I need his love. I need to see eternity in each hour.

And now I need to go help my son make the fudge he’s been wanting to try this morning.

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