In the middle of December, we’ll know where we will be going next summer. Historically, I’ve been mildly impatient (Notice how I couch my terms in positive language. Of course I’m not anxious or afraid.) The thought occurred to me a week ago that the next month of uncertainty is a gift from God that I will never again possess.
Since then, I’ve been trying to figure out how not to tolerate uncertainty, but to actually see it as a gift. This morning I found it in Psalm 139.
1 O LORD, You have searched me and known me.
2 You know my sitting down and my rising up; [when I read this, the kids started standing up on their chairs. They were testing the outer edges of insignificance and God’s knowledge of it.]
You understand my thought afar off.
3 You comprehend my path and my lying down,
And are acquainted with all my ways. [I told the children that God knows where we’ll be, and the friends that will be there, and the new church we’ll be a part of. Oh, yes, God knows how scary being in a new place can be for me, but he’s already there and knows everything beforehand. That’s comforting.]
4 For there is not a word on my tongue,
But behold, O LORD, You know it altogether.
5 You have hedged me behind and before,
And laid Your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
It is high, I cannot attain it. [If David can revel that God knows the future, then surely I can too.]
7 Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Or where can I flee from Your presence?
8 If I ascend into heaven, You are there; [In the best case scenario= God is there]
If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there. [In the worst case scenario= God is there]
9 If I take the wings of the morning,
And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
10 Even there Your hand shall lead me,
And Your right hand shall hold me.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness shall fall on me,”
Even the night shall be light about me;
12 Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You,
But the night shines as the day;
The darkness and the light are both alike to You.
13 For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother’s womb.
14 I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.
15 My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. [God knew all about me before I was even born. He knew my precise situation at this moment.]
And in Your book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them.
17 How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!
How great is the sum of them!
18 If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand;
When I awake, I am still with You.
19 Oh, that You would slay the wicked, O God!
Depart from me, therefore, you bloodthirsty men.
20 For they speak against You wickedly;
Your enemies take Your name in vain.
21 Do I not hate them, O LORD, who hate You?
And do I not loathe those who rise up against You?
22 I hate them with perfect hatred;
I count them my enemies.
I’ll be thinking about this more this week, but I’m grateful that God gave me a nudge in the right direction of how to think about uncertainty. His Word is true and good. He knows all and is Sovereign over all.