I discovered that sometimes you have to work on one thing and one thing only with a child.
Don’t be all that surprised at me. I can be dense sometimes, although maybe I knew this and needed reminding. Call me forgetful as well as dense.
I keep wondering why the kids’ bedrooms (one in particular) gets messy so quickly and regularly. I finally stopped to watch the process (key wisdom thought– watch and listen when you have a problem), and I decided that it was needful to intervene intentionally and persistently. We have a problem.
Yesterday, I spent a lot of time upstairs. Basically every time our children left their bedrooms, I made a visit and called them back. Last night when the children got ready for bed, we took a trip upstairs. Again, we needed to stop them and help them be aware of their surroundings.
I know that part of the problem is that the children’s bedrooms are on the second floor. It’s easier not to go up six or seven times in a day to check on things. It’s easier to call up “How does the bedroom look?” and trust that when they say “fine” it means what I want it to mean.
It’s easy to be a lazy mom, but it’s not better. If you come over for a visit, don’t be surprised if you get your latte upstairs.
Laura says
We too have problems with messy rooms. I have often stopped and wondered why is it I insist on it being clean. Picking up after oneself is important. Mom and dad could use work on this as well. I have almost given up on requiring it. Share with me your reasons for requiring it. Thanks. 🙂
Michelle says
Laura– the quick answer is stewardship (things break when they’re all over the floor) and attitude (kids are happier when their rooms are clean). But you might have other battles that are more important.
Nicole– I’ve talked about this with the kids, and on a number of occasions I’ve worked on my bedroom when they worked on theirs. But the fact remains… they still need me to help them clean their own bedrooms. So I can’t do both at the same time. And humility does help their attitude. 🙂
Denise– the only problem with coffee upstairs is that it makes it harder to talk about them. 🙂
Nicole says
I have a hard time requiring clean rooms when my children can easily see that Mommy and Daddy are not consistent with keeping our own spaces clean. So, we have been talking about working together to keep the home (the entire home) more tidy. It’s a work in progress. . .
Denise says
I am so thankful for you, to know you are dealing with the same thing is very helpful. Even down to the idea of having my latte upstairs… why didn’t I ever think of that. Oh yeah, the seating challenge… I gotta get another couch! 🙂