Today I’m writing down some of my goals for modesty. Then we can talk about what actions I’m taking so far to accomplish these goals. Some of them I’m thinking years ahead, but I’m convinced that’s the best way. If you don’t have years, you might have to navigate differently. 🙂 Some of these are goals I want for my son, too.
- I want them to understand what modesty is and is not.
- I want them to like being modest.
- I want them to admire modesty and others who dress modestly.
- I want them to understand how clothing manufacturers market clothing.
- I want them to become fiercely independent in the development of personal style and color choices.
I’m sure I have other goals. Perhaps I’ll add to my list later.
curious about the last one – is this in opposition to being dependent on the world’s ideas about what is attractive/fashionable? Or in opposition to you choosing these things for them?
Nicole– It’s both! I’ll explain in another post.
Thanks for your thoughts on this.
Modesty is much like the virtue of humility, which is like self-forgetfulness or the opposite of self-centeredness. One goal, I think, because I have boys, is to teach my children that they don’t have to be the “best” at everything, or rather it is not good to direct attention to themselves. Instead, it is better to think of others and put others before themselves. By emphasizing the importance of kindness, love for neighbors, and appreciation for others would help us be more humble, or modest in our thoughts towards ourselves.
Also, looking down the road (way, way down the road), I want the boys learn to distinguish between inner and outer beauty. I am learning to get in the habit of training their eyes and hearts. So, for example, when we meet a new friend, instead of noticing their clothes or their hair, we can direct our children’s attention to their character. Are they kind, consideration, friendly? Instead of complimenting how cute their outfit look, we can ask questions about their sibling, what book they are reading, or what are their favorite animals, etc.
I know that my children are always listening. So perhaps by directing their attention now, he will know what to look for later. =) Just some thoughts.
Yes! Humility! And I appreciate that you are thinking through what modesty looks like in boys (not just in themselves, but also in how they are evaluating friends/ future spouses). And I couldn’t find it on your blog, but I have thought a lot about your discussion of your friend who dresses simply. It fits in this discussion, too.