Displaying 1 - 10 of 812 entries

Crying over the Cereal Bowl

  • Posted on September 1, 2010 at 7:13 am

It’s Wisdom Wednesday

This week I have made good on my intention to help walk my children through applying Scripture. Today I’m writing about one of those times.

For background, my three year old is still excessively emotional, easily angered, and cries and whines when she doesn’t get her way. The hard part isn’t stopping her. She can generally stop on cue (and does, most of the time). Replacing the anger has been more challenging, so this week I’ve been walking through Philipians 4:6-7 with her.

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

I’ve explained that worry and anger crowd out peace and thankfulness. And thankfulness crowds out worry and anger. So I’ve been stopping the whining, and pointing out the good things she’s forgotten about. And I’ve been having her come up with her own things to be thankful for in the specific situation.

For example, yesterday I finished my shower to find Laurel sobbing in a heap by my door. She was upset because Bethel didn’t pour her enough cereal. Now, Bethel actually asked David for help, and they both explained to Laurel (and later to me) that they told her she could have more cereal after she finished what she had. As far as I could tell, it wasn’t mean spirited, it is consistent with how I would have handled the situation, and it was a reasonable action from the older siblings. Laurel’s response was wrong.

But, I explained to Laurel, You got your favorite cereal. You have a purple bowl (the coveted bowls and sometimes a source of more tears). Bethel let you pour your own milk. Because you were angry, you forgot about all those wonderful things. Now your turn. What else can you be thankful for?

Laurel came up with a few, came back to the table, and with a few snuffles finished her cereal (and she didn’t want more when she was finished, either).

How is Scripture changing your actions this week?

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Should Girls Climb Trees?

  • Posted on August 30, 2010 at 5:06 am

One of the challenges that mom has given me is to anticipate the lessons our children need and teach them before that time. She points out that in many ways its easier to teach a fourteen year old how to drive than a sixteen year old. If I don’t want my sixteen year old daughter comfortable in a bikini, then it’s wise to teach her why when she’s four. This is why my young daughters don’t wear bikinis: not because they are sensual on a preschooler, but because my daughters won’t always be preschoolers.

This is also why I feel strongly about teaching my children to choose good and wise friends, long before they have the ability to choose their own friends independently of parents. Skateboarding is inherently fine by me, but I’m not going to encourage my son to become a professional skateboarder. Why not? Because the skateboarding culture is godless, drug ridden, and at odds with Christ and His Word. In keeping with my mom’s encouragement to think ahead, I want to ask myself what I want my children to look like when they are adults. How do I want my daughters to behave around young men, and my son around young women?

This brings me to the question of femininity and masculinity.

Here’s an experiment: Make a list of ten activities or interests you would likely not want your ten-year-old son to pursue because they are too feminine, in some way. Now make a list of ten activities or interests you would likely not want your ten-year-old daughter to pursue, because they are too masculine. Did you do it? Did you have a harder time with one list or the other? I realize that this isn’t a challenging task for some parents, but it was for me.

That’s the trouble actually. I can think of a number of “feminine” activities that I’m not comfortable with my son doing, but I don’t tend to have the same reluctance when it comes to “masculine” activities and my girls.  That puzzles me.

Now, I don’t think that climbing trees is inappropriate for a lady of any age  but I’m particularly asking myself about neutral activities like this. If I encourage my daughters to pursue activities and habits that are in our culture understood as masculine, am I making it more difficult for her to transition to a feminine adult?

I’ll talk tomorrow more about femininity and masculinity.

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Learning to Be Wise

  • Posted on August 25, 2010 at 7:03 am

On occasion, I’ll reread something I’ve written and been completely unable to decipher what I intended to say. That’s how I felt last night, so I actually deleted my post (it was that unintelligible to me) and will repost something like it on Friday. Hopefully it will make sense.

Today [...] Continue Reading…

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Tomboy=Biblical?

  • Posted on August 23, 2010 at 6:18 am

We’ve been listening to the Little House on the Prairie series in the car.

Since I enjoy children’s literature, I find the development of spirited heroines in the twentieth century to be greatly interesting. We like Laura, who speaks her mind and isn’t content to sit in a corner to [...] Continue Reading…

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Followup to Battling a Slump

  • Posted on August 18, 2010 at 5:00 am

It’s Wisdom Wednesday, and here’s the good question I try to ask myself at least once a week:

How is Scripture specifically changing me this week?

No good being vague: I’ve been more diligent… I’ve been more patient…

Better to be specific: When I started off angry because I wasn’t getting [...] Continue Reading…

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Battling a Slump

  • Posted on August 17, 2010 at 7:55 am

This morning, I drank my coffee and did not feel one bit more spiritual. I knew from my lack of energy last night that I was likely going to be battling a hormonal shift, and I could already feel myself accepting in resignation that today was “not going to [...] Continue Reading…

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Parenting-by-Proxy Part 2

  • Posted on August 16, 2010 at 5:00 am

Lately, I’ve been thinking about how my children respond to sinning siblings and friends.

When we sat at lunch last week, I spent some time talking about the responsibility a mom and a dad have to teach and discipline their children. (I’m really interested in their responsibility, but talking about [...] Continue Reading…

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Parenting-by-Proxy Problem

  • Posted on August 13, 2010 at 5:40 am

Typical Scenario:
David is instructed to pray with siblings and start eating lunch while mom finishes folding clothes.

Mom enters the room five minutes later to find no prayers said, a few nibbles out of Bethel and Laurel’s sandwiches, no prayer said, and David trying to keep a grip on his [...] Continue Reading…

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The Importance of Choosing Friends

  • Posted on August 10, 2010 at 5:00 am

It has been fun to watch God answer prayer regarding friends, just in this last week.

God allowed me to see occasions where young people my children admire greatly demonstrated genuine Christian love and character. I bragged for a long time about those friends on the way home from church, [...] Continue Reading…

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Babysitter or Mother?

  • Posted on August 9, 2010 at 5:16 am

I am not merely a babysitter.

I’m merely reminding myself of definitions here. We know how important definitions are, don’t we? My mother gently reminded me of the distinction when I was talking about the overwhelming task of shaping desires and occupying minds. “You’re not a babysitter. Being a mother [...] Continue Reading…

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