If you set out to teach your child to obey without question, the danger is that you might succeed. They might be safe children, but they also may grow up vulnerable to abuse and peer pressure and spiritual error because they learned their lesson too well.
If, instead, you want your children to become thoughtful, curious Christians who quickly obey but also test words against the standard of God’s Word, you may succeed but create a headache for yourself in the process.
That’s because children who want to know why often ask YOU why. We actually want them to question everyone else, not our own values and rules. But the more successful we are at teaching our children to be godly Bereans, the more they will turn their questions our way. I’ll warn you, I’ve not found it comfortable or pretty.
Curious children ferret out our inconsistencies and our poor reasoning. They find our weak spots and probe until we squirm. They learn wisdom by making choices in the grey areas, and their grey areas aren’t always ones we agree are grey. Such children can embarrass us with their questions and freedom. They send us back to the Scripture and our knees. Thankfully, we have a Holy Spirit who specializes in teaching and directing. We can trust him as we teach as best as we can and wait on his timing for the results.
Perhaps we will find that the process of scrutiny and growth from our children is one of the great blessings of the parenting journey.