Archives for November 2010

Last night our children said goodbye to their grandparents, who had come from out of state for a visit.

One of our little ones told us she was quite sad about their leaving, and she cried a little as she clung to mommy and daddy long after the car disappeared from view. My mommy heart aches for my children, but when I wanted to encourage her, I realized that I couldn’t just tell her to “replace sad thoughts with happy thoughts.”

Why not? Because as humans, we are capable of more than one emotion at a time. Sad and Happy. Fearful and Excited. Angry and Loving. Pretending that sadness is a horrible thing that must be avoided at all costs isn’t right. Jesus showed us that sadness and crying wasn’t sinful; it’s part of being human.

Lee gently told her that sadness is a part of loving sometimes. We asked her if she would hurt and be sad if her grandparents had not come. She recognized that she wouldn’t be sad, had she not spent time with them. Then we asked what she would choose: seeing grandma and grandpa, and hurting; or not seeing grandma and grandpa, and not hurting. She thought a bit, and then agreed seeing grandparents was worth the sadness of saying goodbye. We prayed together, thanking God for the good visit, and asking God to comfort our little ones who were sad. Christ is the great physician for little ones, too. His balm is sweet and gentle.

It’s a sobering lesson. But a good one. When we love as Christ loved, we open ourselves up to sadness. That kind of love is inexplicable, but very worth it.

Instructing children to be thankful seems counterintuitive. We want thankfulness to spring forth spontaneously from a thankful heart. That’s my goal.

I know I can improve in teaching my children to be thankful. I need to do better at helping them write and send thank you cards (i have a bad habit of helping them make/ write them, but forgetting to send them until long after the occasion). I know that I should spend some time deliberately teaching them biblical principles of thankfulness.

Here’s a start. Our children opened presents from their grandparents last night. Each child needed to be prompted to say thank you after each opened a gift (on Thanksgiving even!). I felt a little bit of dismay, knowing that other people’s children always express thankfulness (I’m quite certain), and knowing that this day was Thanksgiving, of all days to be forgetful.

I am wondering whether it might be better to discuss thankfulness with them before the next gift giving event, instead of after. The advantage is that I’m pretty certain my children will remember to say thank you after opening a present, in this case. The disadvantage is that I’m not waiting to see if they’ll say thank you spontaneously (it does happen).

Perhaps we’ll spend time talking about thankfulness this next month.

There’s a paradox in Christianity, that, while Christians are told to avoid danger, Christians are also known for their boldness in face of danger. That’s worth considering for awhile. What makes the difference? Are these Christians consistent in theology and practice, or not?

It has been correctly pointed out that Christians are not told to flee from Satan. We are to resist Satan, and he will flee from us. Does it follow that Christians who flee sin are acting immaturely? On the contrary! The biblical evidence suggests that a vigorous, deliberate avoidance of sin, along with the passionate pursuit of godliness, is the responsibility of mature believers. Let’s look and see some of what the Bible tells us to flee:

• We are to flee fornication (I Corinthians 6:18-19)
• We must flee idolatry (I Corinthians 10:13-14) (Two interesting thoughts: first, the whole context makes it clear that the idolatry Paul is talking about is broader than worshiping a wooden statue. Second, it is interesting that we are told to flee idolatry in light of the previous verse– God’s work and my work: he provides a way of escape, we flee)
• We should flee greed and pride.
  1But thou, O man of God, flee these things; and follow after righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, meekness. I Timothy 6:11
  You have to read the context, but it’s important to note that a MAN OF GOD (not just a weaker brother) is told to flee something, and further, that running away from sin implies the need to be running towards something else. I think it’s appropriate to suggest that anytime we are fleeing sin, we should be deliberately pursuing godliness.)
• We should flee youthful lusts, no matter what our age
  Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart. II Timothy 2:22
  (again, note this is a mature believer told to flee, and again, note that Timothy is told to pursue something else in its place.)
• We should avoid the path of the wicked, and the way of evil men Proverbs 4:14-16
• We are told to avoid divisiveness (Romans 16:17, and others!)
• We are also told to avoid friendships with angry people
  Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go: ²⁵Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul. Proverbs 22:24-25
• It is wise to avoid friendships with fools (biblically defined as a rebel against God)
  He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed. Proverbs 13:20
• Twice we are told that it is wise to see danger ahead, and take steps to avoid it. A simple person passes on and is punished. Proverbs 22:3 and Proverbs 27:12

What can we learn from all these passages? It is clearly good and right to avoid moral danger. It is the mark of a mature, wise believer. We should encourage other believers (as Solomon and Paul did) to avoid danger. This is not the legalism of the Pharisees. When a Christian flees sin, he should be pursuing godliness. Fleeing sin does not equal sinful fear.

We still need great wisdom in correctly identifying danger. We haven’t talked about weighing the cost of avoiding danger (i.e., how far should I take avoiding danger) We haven’t considered the relationship between being in the world but not of it. Or avoiding evil people, but still sharing the gospel with them. We haven’t discussed adequately whether we should fear moral danger, and we haven’t considered yet what our attitude should be toward physical danger. Finally, we haven’t yet considered how these things apply to our responsibility as parents. There’s a lot to think about.