Archives for November 2016

We’re new in our neighborhood, and as neighborhoods go, it’s pretty quiet. The neighbors aren’t mean, just silent and to themselves. They’ll wave at you, but they won’t take any initiative to come say hello. I’ve been praying about opportunities to actually get to know our neighbors.

I really do have a desire to reach out, but knocking on doors cold turkey is more than a little frightening. My youngest has been driving the push to take something, anything to the neighbors. Not me. With her pushing, I made cookies last month, but decided against it when they didn’t really taste all that great. Finally, I couldn’t put her off any more (going to meet neighbors is spiritual, you know).  We made caramel to take to the neighbors. Don’t think I’m bragging, here. I used some cute Thanksgiving bags I’ve had with good intentions for four years.

I knew I wasn’t going to have enough courage to do this by myself and the kids, so I got Lee to help. After we had gone to a couple of houses, I noticed David hanging back.

“Are you embarrassed to be delivering caramels?”

“Kind of.”

Then we had a short talk about how our family is diverse, and we help each other. In this case, one family member was bolder than the others (or at least showed the greatest initiative, when everyone else wouldn’t have made visiting neighbors a high priority), and that made our whole family stronger.

The real point is that the church works the same way. We don’t all have the same strengths and weaknesses. We all reach out with the gospel in different ways. My son’s reluctance to knock on doors didn’t mean he’s not interested in loving people with the gospel. On the other hand, sometimes we need people who are stronger to challenge us where we are weak. Some of my best friends are Type-A, super-organized people. Their strength in spreadsheets and organization challenges me to be more faithful in using my time wisely. We all benefit when we refuse to use ourselves as the reference point for Christlikeness and correct application of Scripture.

The body of Christ helps us, not just to challenge our obedience, but also to supply gaps in understanding. My experience as an adult who grew up in a Christian home is different from my friend who didn’t. She knows what it’s like for all of the Bible to be new and exciting; I don’t. She understands the perspective of an adult who does not fear God. On the other hand, I don’t often struggle to trust in a loving Heavenly Father. Gospel-centered thinking is as natural as breathing. We both benefit from having different points of view. Paul’s metaphor of the body is worth thinking about much more deeply than we

There are diversities of gifts, but the same Spirit. ⁵ There are differences of ministries, but the same Lord. ⁶ And there are diversities of activities, but it is the same God who works all in all. ⁷ But the manifestation of the Spirit is given to each one for the profit of all….

 For as the body is one and has many members, but all the members of that one body, being many, are one body, so also is Christ. ¹³ For by one Spirit we were all baptized into one body—whether Jews or Greeks, whether slaves or free—and have all been made to drink into^[c] one Spirit. ¹⁴ For in fact the body is not one member but many.

¹⁵ If the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I am not of the body,” is it therefore not of the body? ¹⁶ And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I am not of the body,” is it therefore not of the body? ¹⁷ If the whole body were an eye, where would be the hearing? If the whole were hearing, where would be the smelling? ¹⁸ But now God has set the members, each one of them, in the body just as He pleased. ¹⁹ And if they were all one member, where would the body be?

²⁰ But now indeed there are many members, yet one body. ²¹ And the eye cannot say to the hand, “I have no need of you”; nor again the head to the feet, “I have no need of you.” ²² No, much rather, those members of the body which seem to be weaker are necessary. ²³ And those members of the body which we think to be less honorable, on these we bestow greater honor; and our unpresentable parts have greater modesty, ²⁴ but our presentable parts have no need. But God composed the body, having given greater honor to that part which lacks it, ²⁵ that there should be no schism in the body, but that the members should have the same care for one another. ²⁶ And if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; or if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it. 1 Corinthians 12:4-7; 12-25

Over the last few months, we’ve been visiting different churches. It’s always a learning experience to be in a new place as an outsider, and it’s a great opportunity to teach our children what is most important about a church.

This last weekend, we asked them to talk about the strengths and weaknesses of the different youth groups and Sunday schools they’ve visited. I thought they had good insight that might be of interest to any of my friends and readers who are Sunday school teachers themselves. Maybe your own children are similar. Here are their comments:

• We like participating in the class, not just listening the whole time. [They like discussion, like answering questions or sharing experiences that relate to the Scripture being studied.]
• We like reading Scripture out loud together. [Even the one who doesn’t like to read noticed the value of reading Scripture out loud. I think this was important to them because they want the lesson to be from the Bible, and it’s easy for teachers to talk a lot about the Bible without actually reading it.]
• I like being able to follow the lesson (like an outline) and take notes.
• I like a passionate teacher who is excited that you understand. If you don’t get it, he is excited that you are trying.
• We can tell when people love us when they’re excited when we participate.
• We loved when the youth group came to visit us. [One youth group came with their youth leader to visit the kids one evening and say hello. They were a little intimidated and uncomfortable at first, but it helped both our children and the youth group children to know each other when we visited the second time.]
• We like the gender/ age split up for Sunday school. [Our kids didn’t like loud and noisy and big youth services. They had a strong preference for a time in a small group setting to talk about the lesson. Not every church had that on a Sunday morning. Some had Sunday night and Wednesday night small groups.]
• We liked when the teachers were excited to get to know you—who are you, what do you like, etc. [Our kids responded well when the leaders took the time to learn their names, find out their interests, and express joy when they showed up again. They liked personal followup. One Sunday school teacher wrote a note by hand and mailed it after we visited!]
• I liked how people prayed during the youth group on Wednesday. [The teacher asked different people to pray for each prayer request as they were made. I think they liked this style because the teacher took away the burden of volunteering, something that can be really stressful in middle school. Some kids are scared to volunteer. Some kids aren’t scared to volunteer, but don’t want to be the only ones doing it.]
• We liked that the teacher was not so rushed to be done on time that he ignored people. [One teacher went late to answer a serious question from a student. Their interpretation was that this event showed the teacher cared more about people than things.]
• One thing they didn’t mention because it wasn’t specifically about Sunday school classes, was that our children really appreciated the random adults in the churches that took the time to shake their hands, ask their names and ages, and talk to them. Sometimes we adults assume that the teenagers in our churches don’t care about the grownups, but in my experience even the most sullen and withdrawn need the merciful hand of friendship from those mature enough to see past the aloof demeanor.

As for the other teens, our kids had some thoughts, too. They appreciated when teens drew them into a group. Teens with phones seemed to hinder reaching outside of a group. (A small group can look at fun stuff on the phone, but these teens won’t notice who isn’t a part, or who is being left out.) They noticed the difference when kids actually talked with them, instead of just saying hello. From my perspective, it seemed that the teens who reached out were actually taught how to do so by their leaders. We tried hard not to make teen friendliness a big deal. We told them that their experience of being the new kid helped them see a need in the body of Christ that they could fill. At the same time, we are praying for like-minded teens who will grow spiritually with them.

Several of the youth groups had excellent youth rooms, with foosball or ping pong tables. Our kids enjoyed these, but it’s interesting that when they were listing strengths and weaknesses, the youth group they resonated with the most didn’t have a fancy equipment. It was the one with a teacher who liked them and expressed this love most clearly.

If you asked your children about the strengths and weaknesses of their classroom, what would they say? One of our recurring questions you might also try was “How does the teacher use the Bible in your class?”

P.S. I keep wishing I could give every youth leader a copy of the biography of Henrietta Mears. She was a teacher who understood the value of Bible teaching and love for her students as individuals, and I think her story would be inspiring and challenging to the youth leaders who so obviously want to make a difference in the lives of these young Christians.