I’ve been given advice about David and the pacifier. Apart from the peer pressure of feeling like an incompetent mother when others find out he “needs” a paci to sleep (nap and bedtime), and apart from the inconvenience of dealing with an occasionally disoriented and distressed three year old when he can’t find it in the middle of the night, it’s really not that big of a deal.

However, it’s true that it’s not exactly good for his teeth (although I think the studies that demonstrate this deal with excessive pacifier use, like all day. I might have to look it up!). It’s also true that giving up the pacifier should happen inevitably– why not now?

Here’s why. I’m trying to understand David’s personality and his response to stress! Even one major stress (like our move, or potty training) affects David’s eating and sleeping habits. He gets nausea when he’s stressed. Because of his personality, I’ve tried to limit the stress to one major event at a time. (major events– new bed, new sister, new schedule for dad, vacations, potty training, no house, new house) I’m trying to think of parenting as a long-term process, not a series of one-day learning events, and I do have time before the pacifier is a real problem. It’s not now. I realize (from what other mothers wisely tell me) that the trauma lasts only a few days (or did for their children). I’m reasonably sure this will be the case with David.

I think we’ll be working on the pacifier in the next few weeks. David’s been eating better (could be a growth spurt). He’s excited about routine (no weeping when going to a new Sunday school). He’s delighted with sleeping in his room and has been enjoying having a little more room in his new house (he’s going to sleep fine for naps and bedtime, and plays happily during the day). All of these responses to life seem to indicate that even though mom and dad haven’t yet established routine, the kids are pretty settled. (I’ve got a lot of changes in the next couple of months, including teaching an online education course, and having a baby! Lee doesn’t start seeing patients until next week, even though he’s at work every day now.)

I’ll keep you posted.