confidence

April 11, 2014 by Michelle Leave a Comment

What Gives Me Confidence As a Mom

For quite awhile I’ve been thinking about confidence as a mother, confidence as a Christian. I have plenty of times when I don’t feel very confident, so I’m pretty interested in paying attention to what the Bible says about confidence. (It’s more common than we think, and it’s not the same as pride.) Tonight I started doing some brainstorming of the truths or actions that give me greater confidence as a mother. Next post I’ll share some of my “confidence verses” with you.

Understanding the diversity of the body of Christ. My sinful tendency is to exclude others just because they are not like me, and to feel like I don’t belong because I am not like them. The truth gives confidence: God WANTS diversity, and it can be ridiculously energizing when I start recognizing the role that personality plays into the choices I make as a mom. (I Corinthians 12)
Faith that God will supply my needs and will provide needed wisdom. If I don’t know what to do, I assume I have freedom to choose. I’ve seen God redirect me when I’m choosing a way he doesn’t want me to go. I do better when I remember that many of my requests for wisdom are answered over time, and not in a single “aha” moment. (Matthew 6:33; Proverbs 3:5-6)
Acknowledging that I will never be 100% consistent, no matter how hard I try. I am going to make mistakes, make decisions that my children don’t like, and change my mind about choices I’ve made. If I accept my imperfection, I’m not going to be devastated when I see it!
Hearing the testimony of other mothers. God has brought some women in my life who have had genuine needs as mothers. I’ve watched God provide, and I’ve been grateful that they were not silent about what God has done in their lives and in the lives of their children. I love to hear how God is answering prayer, because it reminds me that He is faithful to answer my prayers, too. (Many places in the letters of Paul, but here are a few in Colossians: 1:3-11; 2:5; 4:9-14
Crying out to God when I am clearly in over my head, and believing that he will answer. Sometimes the answer is unexpected, but God always provides. Remembering God’s faithfulness gives me confidence to take another step, make another choice. Hebrews 11:11
Seeing God answer my own prayer requests! John 16:24
Shrugging my shoulders at imperfection, and laughing at myself! I can only do so much. As long as I’m actively moving forward, I can trust the Holy Spirit to keep the next thing the important thing. I just can’t get bogged down in the past! (Philippians 3:12-14)
Remembering to trust the Holy Spirit. I cannot make repentance in my children. I cannot make maturity. I can trust him to provide the perfect set of environmental circumstances that they need for God’s plan for their lives.I forget this often, but I’m also growing more confident in letting God do his job while I wait on him! Psalm 46:10
Reviewing truth. I make a Scripture book. It’s like a journal, but it’s mostly where I write the verses that give me hope and strength. Then, when I am weak, my Scripture book becomes my Bible. Many of the truths that give me hope and confidence are short phrases that stick in my head for months: The Lord is MY shepherd; he gently leads those with young. God is my refuge and strength. Thy kingdom come. The eternal weight of glory. Blessed is she who believed!

Through faith also Sara herself received strength to conceive seed, and was delivered of a child when she was past age, because she judged him faithful who had promised. Hebrews 11:11

I love this passage. Since we know about Sara’s lack of confidence in God from the Old Testament narrative, it’s encouraging to see that she ultimately chose to believe God. I love to notice what gave her strength: she judged him faithful who had promised. That truth gives me strength, too!

June 20, 2011 by Michelle 6 Comments

How to Be a Confident Mom

This topic is several posts long, but I have been thinking about this for a very long time.

In Proverbs 3, 21-26, Solomon tells us that one of the results of wisdom is a measure of confidence and freedom from fear. I like that, since I am not always confident and free from fear as a mom.

My son, let them not vanish from your sight;
Keep sound wisdom and discretion,
So they will be life to your soul
And adornment to your neck.
Then you will walk in your way securely
And your foot will not stumble.
When you lie down, you will not be afraid;
When you lie down, your sleep will be sweet.
Do not be afraid of sudden fear
Nor of the onslaught of the wicked when it comes;
For the LORD will be your confidence
And will keep your foot from being caught.

Because of those occasions when I’ve not been confident, and in fact had some fear, I’ve been wondering to myself how exactly wisdom brings confidence. Is this confidence some mystical result of attaining the elusive quality of wisdom? How can I be confident and yet humble? Does wisdom mean I always know the right thing to do in every situation, with 100% certainty? Does wisdom mean I never make mistakes as a mom? I think it makes sense when I look at the process in reverse. When I am confident, it is often because I know why I am doing what I am doing. As I think through my goals in taking certain steps, as I learn how Scripture applies to my situation, I gain confidence, even to disagree when someone else offers an alternative that doesn’t address the goals or biblical principles I want to teach.

I’ll give an example. Although many Christian parents send their children to preschool, we made a deliberate decision not to. I was vaguely confident that we didn’t need to, but it wasn’t until I started asking myself WHY, and thinking about biblical principles that fit our situation, that I grew more confident that this was the right decision for our family. In contrast, when I’m not as confident or even fearful, it’s often because I don’t know precisely why I’m doing what I’m doing.

So perhaps part of developing wisdom as a mother is starting to ask questions that pinpoint the application of scripture (or lack thereof), “Why am I doing this? What do I hope to accomplish? What am I hoping to avoid?” Instead of asking a mentor what action to take, or what principles I need, I can ask her to help me find biblical principles that bear on a situation. As I learn to find these principles in God’s Word, I can see how wisdom gives confidence. Having someone tell me what to do makes me less confident in the long run. Now I’m challenged to think about the areas in parenting where I’m fearful, and see if I’m lacking in this way.

July 25, 2006 by Lee Leave a Comment

Second Guessing

I’m feeling a little hesitant about the decisions we’ve made in childrearing. Maybe I am too lenient. Maybe I should be disciplining more. Maybe… Maybe…

But then I am reminded (as also did my husband remind me)that God promises wisdom if we will seek Him. It doesn’t matter that I had a good example in my parents, helpful though that has been. My years growing up in church no doubt have influenced my approach. But these things are of no value if I do not walk with the Lord. And one who does not have the benefit of godly parents or a godly upbringing has the same resource I do– the Word of God.

I once talked with a mom about her son’s education. I had just completed extensive academic testing with him, and was discussing my recommendations with her. The mom tentatively mentioned what she had been doing with him, and then mentioned that a well-respected educator in the church had criticized her method. This mother, without a special ed degree, could not have known how appropriate were her actions. I believe God gave her the wisdom and the confidence to disagree with an “expert” for her child’s benefit.

I’ve seen God give wisdom to those who put Him first, who were willing to look for answers (the many parents I tested were looking for more guidance to make decisions), and who had a genuine walk with God. When their own relationship with God was their focus, He’s given them what they needed. Doesn’t this fit what we see in God’s Word? Watching these parents make decisions for their children gives me the confidence that God will lead me as He has led them.

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all thine heart: and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

Now, I just need to go get my Bible…. and obey the things I know I need to do….

What Gives Me Confidence As a Mom

How to Be a Confident Mom

Second Guessing

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