I haven’t posted any commentary on the potty training saga, mostly because I think I learned the lessons I needed to learn, and Bethel just needed time. But it’s time for an update.

About a month ago, I came to the conclusion that we’d be done with diapers, and I’d just try to anticipate the potty need best as I could. The trouble was, Bethel (who turns three this month) didn’t know how not to hold it, so she went only when her bladder was about to explode. That point was hard to predict. I never had the sense that she was resisting rebelliously, but it was clear she was discouraged, and I was trying to address that by praying with her and talking about how God helps us to do right.

One day she figured it out, and from that point she would go if I put her on the potty, but she still had no understanding of knowing what having to go felt like. If I forgot to remind her, we’d have an accident. And there was no success for bowel movements whatsoever.

Our girls got a nasty GI virus that gave them diarrhea– while we were driving to Las Vegas. So although I could have put Bethel in a Pull-up, we decided not to. As it happened, we were in a restaurant when the urge hit, and I was able to rush Bethel to the potty in time for success, and even though we had some traumatic accidents, we had more successes stemming from that single success.

She’s still absent minded and must be reminded, but she’s beginning to understand herself a little bit and is getting better. She’s not totally successful every day, but I’d say she’s pretty close. It’s time for a potty training party.

And let us not be weary in well doing, for in due season we shall reap if we faint not. Galatians 6:9

I told that verse to Bethel, but it was really for me. This time around (and it might not be this way the next time), I was learning about denying myself, being faithful, and not being weary. And now… desire accomplished is sweet to the soul. 🙂

I’ve learned a lot about teaching a child to use the potty.

1. I need to have the right motives (not because I’m embarrassed or want to look good): Proverbs 29:25
2. I need to be patient and not angry (when it appears that my child doesn’t care) Galatians 5:22-23, I Corinthians 13
3. My last lesson has been understanding the need to be faithful: making doing right a priority (which prevents forgetfulness on my part. Trust me, I know this is the case for me.) Now I have a new lesson.

One of Bethel’s friends is learning to go potty too. And her mother related that this dear one asked her mommy to pray that she wouldn’t get discouraged. Now, Bethel isn’t resistant like her brother was. She just isn’t aware and has far more important details to think of than bother about potty. I also think she’s gotten discouraged, so yesterday I told her that Ella Grace was discouraged about going potty, but she prayed with her mommy and God helped her not to be discouraged. Then I asked her if she wanted to pray. No, she said.

We prayed anyway, and I prayed for myself as well. Be not weary in doing right, for you will reap eventually. This morning I wondered if Bethel understood what discouraged meant. I told her that discourage means we want to give up and stop trying. I think she understood this. And we prayed again. Do not be weary.

God is our refuge and strength,
a very present help in trouble.
Therefore will not we fear,though the earth be removed, and
though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea;
though the waters thereof roar and be troubled
though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof.

Selah. Psalm 46:1-3

Today as I was changing Bethel, I told her that this weekend we’d work on potty training. She responded, I don’t like going potty. Well, aside from a brief few days where she was highly motivated, I’ve noticed that lately she has seemed pretty discouraged about the process. She tries, but nothing happens. Repeated failure in any task is a sure exercise for discouragement. So, because my daughter needed it*, I decided to read what the Bible says about discouragement.

Galatians 6:9 Be not weary in well doing, for in due season you shall reap if you faint not.

Isaiah 41:10 Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.

We talked a little bit about these verses. I don’t know how much she understands, but I know I needed those words today. God’s amazing grace: that he would give me words to preach that ministered to my own heart.

* Irony: I’ve been discouraged enough not to work on potty training for awhile now.

I’ve come to the conclusion that potty training isn’t about my child’s spirituality, but about mine. No other challenge can fill me with such weariness, despair, and sometimes anger, than potty training. I come to a conclusion that it’s not that big of a deal, and then the next day I’m worried about the cost of diapers. I know full well that it’s not going to harm my child not to be potty trained right now, but when I’m tired of changing multiple diapers from two children, I wonder why can’t it be right now. After all, Sue potty trained her son six months ago, and so did Mary with her twins. Isobel’s child potty trained herself. I’m not sure exactly what that means, but I like the idea and wish it would happen with me. And I’ve read a bunch of authors that say there is no reason that a two year old cannot be potty trained. Even the American Association of Pediatrics says that kids can be potty trained early (just takes them longer to learn, as a rule). And then my heart is in turmoil. What’s a tired mom to do?

Once again, of course, I must turn it over to the Lord. If I’m too tired to work on it, then I’m too tired. There’s no potty-training deadline. Don’t be weary in well-doing (like changing diapers), because you will reap in due season if you faint not (I’d like to think that’s a potty trained child). Seek God’s kingdom first, delight myself also in the Lord, and God will give me my desires and needs (or change them, of course). Understand that my lack of patience and contentment is sin that must be confessed. My tiredness, or having a child in diapers is not a sin. And don’t be alarmed when next week comes and I need the same pep talk I needed yesterday.

In light of all this, I’ve seen some changes in my daughter that indicate she’s taken a few steps in the potty training arena. She’s wanting to wear underwear. I put her on the potty and she went right away. And yesterday, she said she had to go potty, and ended up going all over the bathroom floor. This is the first time she’s noticed she had to go potty before the fact. So I can rejoice in those things. I can rejoice that unlike my first child, this one seems to want to learn to go potty, although she gets weary in well doing too. It’s an overwhelming task for a little one. Maybe I’ll share Galatians 6:9 with her next time we’re in the bathroom together. It will come. And when it does, don’t come to me for potty training advice. I really don’t know.