All of my children have told me I should blog on this topic.

Awhile back, we started addressing a child’s habit of saying “I know” in response to instruction or information.

We saw great improvement, particularly when the child realized that “I know” was not true.

The last month or two, we’ve noticed “I know” creeping back into the vocabulary of more than one child. As our children have gotten older, they are pushing back a little when we point out the habit. “What if I really DO know?”

It’s a good question. Now we have been addressing the underlying motivation for making sure the other person KNOWS we know. These have been good discussions, and the children are listening and responding. The only trouble has been that our dear children have been observing that mom and dad say “I know” regularly, too. “But when we say it, it’s an appropriate time to say it.”

That’s our first reaction, but truth be told, for us, just as for them, a better response is, “True.” or “You’re right.” Can you hear the subtle shift from self and pride to respect and attention to the speaker?

Now you know why all of our children have suggested blogging on “I know.”

Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: James 1:19

A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards. Proverbs 29:11

 A fool hath no delight in understanding, but that his heart may discover itself. Proverbs 18:2

He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him. Proverbs 18:13

It’s rather silly that any mother would attempt to teach her children humility without recognizing the obstacles of her own struggle (or lack thereof) with humility and pride. So as I consider helping my children develop a sense of humility, out of necessity, I’m considering the same things in my own life. I suspect that’s exactly what God intends us to do as we teach our children.

Awhile back we noticed one child who habitually says “I know” when given instruction or information. It’s abrasive, not only for family members, but also for others who come in contact with our family. It sounds prideful. After being annoyed and embarrassed by his response a number of times, I realized that his words were habitual, and he probably wasn’t even aware of what he was saying.

“When you say ‘I know,’ did you know that?”
After a second, he acknowledged with a smile that he hadn’t.
“I’ve noticed that you often say, ‘I know’ after you are given instruction or information.
If you didn’t know if before you were told, a better answer is, ‘Oh, I didn’t know that.'”

We talked for a few more seconds about humility and being teachable. How our words reflect and shape what is in our hearts. I try really hard not to make a strong connection between what people think of us and our words (i.e., what people think of you when you say this), simply because it’s not the most important reason to humble ourselves.

He’s working on it. I’ve heard him correct himself, and if he forgets, we just ask, “Did you really already know that?”

[And yes, sometime later we’ll work on the prideful need to inform the other person that we DID know that bit of information already. And now I’m asking myself, is this paragraph exactly what I’m talking about? How do I say “I know” in more adult-subtle ways?]

But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble. James 4:6