Awhile back, Lee had a mom in clinic who needed a fellow mom more than a pediatrician. He gave her my phone number so she could call, and when he got home that afternoon, he gave me the mom’s phone number and suggested I call her first.

Well. I knew I should call, but calling a stranger to arrange a social call is just about the scariest thing for me in daily life. I procrastinated. Had other things to do first. I also felt conviction about it: I knew I was loving myself more than this other woman who needed a friend.

A few days passed, and I was surprised with a phone call from her. You know how the Bible says that it is the goodness of God that leads us to repentance? That’s exactly how I felt. I knew I had experienced God’s mercy, and I repented of my selfishness. That mom and I became friends.

Now I’m asking myself, what was the impetus for God’s mercy: the sin or the weakness?

As mothers, we instinctively recognize how weakness in our children influences how we parent. If a child has missed his nap, we might leave a party early before he has a meltdown. That’s mercy. Sometimes we can’t leave early, and we deal with the meltdown; yet our attitude leans toward not tempting our children beyond their ability to bear it.

When it’s time to leave the playground, sometimes it’s merciful to give children a five-minute warning. Some moms might give them a one-minute warning, too. When time is up, and that little boy is crying because he wants one more time on the slide, his mama might gently take his hand and lead him home (crying the whole way). Or she might carry him!

A college student told me her testimony once, and described how God intervened to help her break up with her abusive boyfriend. She thoughtfully told me, “I was too weak to get out of the relationship, and I’m thankful God intervened so I could.” She was describing mercy.

It was with great interest, then, that I noticed a passage in Genesis recently, where this idea seems to appear.

God was merciful to Lot by providing a way to escape, yes, but Lot still lingered in response to God’s mercy.

When the morning dawned, the angels urged Lot to hurry, saying, “Arise, take your wife and your two daughters who are here, lest you be consumed in the punishment of the city.” ¹⁶ And while he lingered, the men took hold of his hand, his wife’s hand, and the hands of his two daughters, the Lord being merciful to him, and they brought him out and set him outside the city. Genesis 19:15-16

Here God’s mercy shows up at a moment of weakness. Lot isn’t repenting; he’s hesitating. In the middle of his lingering, God grabs his hand and helps him to obey.

Be merciful like your father in heaven is merciful.

 

 

Some people assume mercy is found in mostly weighty, significant events. We might wait years for the really important (and “valid”) circumstances which demand mercy. Actually, mercy is found in many small events. We might even miss them if we’re not looking, just like this tiny mushroom I discovered when we lived in Japan.

Sometimes just one or two words communicate mercy.

• I forgive you.
• Don’t worry. I wasn’t offended.
• No problem.
• Life’s too short to worry about stuff like that.
• I’ve struggled with that, too.
• What can I pray for you about?
• Yes, I’ll help you.

 

Sometimes mercy shows up in our actions and thoughts more than anything we say. Are you tempted to correct people every time they say something that isn’t precisely accurate? Mercy lets things go. Here are three thoughts that help me to be merciful, even when I’m not saying anything.

That’s not quite right, but this is not the right time to correct it.

God doesn’t work on the same things in us. He works on us all at different times.

Different personalities have different struggles.

My children had the same idea. I asked them if they had any ideas of things we say to communicate mercy. It was a good conversation.

“Sometimes not saying anything is merciful.”

Like how?

“Like not saying anything when someone makes a mistake or says something stupid.”

“Or not saying something when someone messes up in choir.”

 

Now it’s your turn. Can you think of any other words that communicate mercy?

But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us… (Ephesians 2:4)

Therefore be merciful, just as your Father also is merciful  (Luke 6:36).

I watched a dad yesterday holding a crying toddler at the park. She wanted to walk, and he was carrying her instead. I’ve been there: it’s always somewhat embarrassing when you are in a public place, and your children aren’t cooperating as planned. As the dad came near us, he saw some ducks along the path and started pointing them out to the little girl. She was distracted, filled with wonder, and then they all walked home. It happened in just a few moments, but it was beautiful.

I noticed that the dad didn’t “give in” to the daughter’s demand to walk, or stay at the park. He was calmly carrying her along. Mercy was helping to distract her so that she could process her disappointment and think about something else.

I wonder if God does the same thing for me?

I wonder if this is a good example of mercy and justice together.

I wonder if I can imitate this principle with my older children.

 

⁴ Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

 

When I read Jesus’ instruction to be merciful like my father is merciful, I automatically ask myself whether I’m showing mercy to others today, or this week.

More often than not, it seems, thinking about mercy reminds me that I need mercy for myself. I’m a little embarrassed, and I feel unworthy to think about giving mercy at that moment, so I shrink back. It seems that when we are most in need of God’s mercy, we sometimes avoid it. Instead we try again to be better, but we do it without thinking about God’s mercy too closely. What if feeling inadequate to show mercy to my children actually was the beginning of spiritual growth? Wouldn’t an awareness of my need for mercy be part of God’s convicting work in my heart, leading me to repentance or greater dependence on him?

In this case, the best thing I can do about learning to show mercy to my children (and to others) is to pursue God’s mercy for me. What kind of mercy do I need? Forgiveness? Help? Relief? Guidance? Patience? How can I be sure that God will give me the mercy I am asking for? What do I know about mercy?

I may not know the next place God wants me to be with my children, but I know the way to get there is through my relationship with him. So I’m going to take some time to think on purpose. I’ve been interested to think about the different ways I can show mercy to my children, but I’ve not taken time to think of mercy in the same way for myself. When I’m thinking about God’s mercy to God, I think only of my need for forgiveness and God’s mercy for sinners.

Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4:16