September 2015

I love the local church. This is the place where God intended believers to be built up, to use their gifts in love, to be a launching ground for ministry, for sharing the gospel with those who don’t know it. Here we worship together, and we share kingdom life together.

I love our local church. This is the place where God placed our family. Unmistakably. One of the delightful things about our church is that is it a place where we can serve within a community.

My home is the adjunct location for my ministry. For many years my primary ministry was changing diapers, teaching toddlers to obey and share, and learning to love others more than myself. As my children have gotten older, I’ve had more room for other kinds of ministry.

Since our children are home, they’re a part. I like that. I want them to see what it looks like when I’m sharing the gospel with another mama over a cup of coffee. They pray for the dear friends God has brought into their lives as well as mine. They also do a fantastic job playing with the toddlers and babies who stumble over their schoolwork and eat their Legos. I am grateful for their help. I want them to understand that when the neighbor kids beg to come over to play with them, dragging their shy mama along with them, they share in the blessing of planting the seeds of the gospel because of their kindness and love.

On the other hand, in this new season, I am noticing that I must be wise in my expectations of my children’s part in my ministry. My passion and ministry is not wholly theirs. I want to be very careful as I teach them how to minister, and show them the joys of sharing the gospel and serving others, that I’m not pushing them ahead of the Holy Spirit. I want to be sensitive to their requests NOT to minister at times, and I especially want to remember that they are not the ones initiating this service.

So how do I encourage my children to share God’s love with others?

I’m going to remember that we cannot share what we have not received. This is why I want to spend a lot of time helping my children understand the blessing of salvation that they have received. I want to teach them how to walk with God. I want them to see my joy in sharing Christ with others. A full heart cannot help but overflow into the lives around it.
I want to help them connect service and the blessing they have received when big kids have spent time with them. They have been blessed, and I want them to know how it feels to receive God’s love through someone else.
After the babies and toddlers have gone home, I share this verse with them, and explain that when they share their toys with a young child, it’s like they are sharing their toys with Jesus. (Who is “the least of these” to a child? Most frequently it is a younger child.)

For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in: Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me. Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink? When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee? Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee? And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me. Matthew 25:

I tell them that they have freedom in Christ to choose their ministry, as God provides. When one of my children expressed a strong desire not to sing in the children’s choir, I ultimately allowed her to choose a different ministry. We brainstormed about how a child can serve the local church, can further the gospel. I explained that she was free to choose how she served, but she needed to be doing something.
As they have gotten older, I have planned ministry apart from them. I had a mama and her children over for lunch. We all ate together, and then I sent my children to do school work in their bedrooms while the toddlers played with Playdoh on my kitchen table.
I do ask them to minister with me on a regular basis. We are a family, and it’s not unreasonable to make a leadership decision about how the family serves as a whole. What gives me greater joy, is when I see my children on their own initiative reaching out. This action is of far greater significance to me.

Tomorrow I’ll explain how this principle relates to our family’s decision NOT to send our children to public school or Christian school “to be missionaries.”

In a military community, we say hello and good bye to friends often. Even though saying goodbye is never fun, keeping in touch with old friends has never been easier, with email and Facebook, Skype and Facetime.

Making new friends, though, is a little harder. It’s hard because of a particular awkwardness in new friendships. Even if we have made a good start, we sometimes make quick judgements about each other and give up too soon when difficulties come. (“she’s obnoxious” or “all he likes to do is play video games” “not spiritual enough” “definitely not a kindred spirit”)

What’s needed is patience, persistence, and love. Building a friendship is not something that always happens instantaneously. Most often, we build it a little at a time, reaching out, learning something new, living life together. We see this process worked out many times in a church community.

In our family, in a lot of ways, we’re at that beginning awkward stage for several friendships. And sometimes we come home from an event and have kids discouraged (“there’s nobody like me”). As mom, I’ve been doing a lot of praying, a lot of looking for opportunities to share life with other godly kids, and a lot of pep talks not to give up on the people God has brought into our lives.

At the same time, we’ve also been talking about what it means to be a friend of God. I’ve been encouraging the kids to take the lessons they are learning about friends, and consider how they are working on their friendship with God.

I am glad the Bible uses friendship to describe Abraham’s relationship with God. (and the Scripture was fulfilled that says, “Abraham believed God, and it was counted to him as righteousness”—and he was called a friend of God. James 2:23) Friendship helps us think about what it means to have a relationship with God, and know how to pursue him.

The Bible teaches that we are to pursue God, and we will spend our lifetimes doing so! (Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. James 4:8) We typically don’t build relationships in one large action, although big events can certainly get a friendship started. More typically, we build friendships a little at a time. This is true of our friendship with God. We reach out, and he reaches back. Repeat often.

There are lots of helpful parallels between our friendships and our relationship with God. Any other verses that come to your mind? There are lots of poems from King David, but here is one his best.

O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you;
    my soul thirsts for you;
my flesh faints for you,
    as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.
²So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary,
    beholding your power and glory.
³Because your steadfast love is better than life,
    my lips will praise you.
⁴So I will bless you as long as I live;
    in your name I will lift up my hands.

⁵My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food,
    and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips,
⁶when I remember you upon my bed,
    and meditate on you in the watches of the night;
⁷for you have been my help,
    and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy.
⁸My soul clings to you;
    your right hand upholds me.

(Psalm 63:1-8)

Several books also come to mind:

Haiku on My Shoe by Eileen Berry. A fantastic early reader with a theme of persistence in friendship and love. Few Christian books show Christianity lived out without seeming unnatural or preachy. This one is one of the best I have seen.

The Art of Neighboring by Pathak and Runyon. A short book on building friendships with neighbors. I really enjoyed this book and found it encouraging and challenging.

The Pursuit of God by Tozer. David and I are reading this together, and it’s been fun to discuss. Tozer speaks clearly about what it actually means to “seek God.”

When My Ministry Is Not Theirs

When Making Friends Feels Awkward

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