Archives for October 2008

The other day I was angry with Bethel and I had to ask her forgiveness. I didn’t want to do it.

Part of me argued that if I asked forgiveness, then she would forget about the fact that she was in the wrong. Another part argued that it probably wouldn’t make a difference, and that she probably wouldn’t notice anyway. I think those were lies I was telling myself.

So I tried to explain that mommy was angry and that was wrong. I asked her to forgive me. She didn’t understand and tearfully repeated after me, “Will you forgive me for being angry?” I stopped and told her that mommy sinned. I asked again, and she again repeated “Will you forgive mommy for being angry?”

Finally she got it. I wonder if asking forgiveness of my children will always be this hard. It seems to remind me that I need more humility.

We’ve got three children who are very close together. When they play together, they usually play well, but often we have misunderstandings. Sometimes it’s plain selfishness, like yesterday when one child wanted to play “hurt bird” and the other child wanted to play “camping.” Several attempts at mediation failed, simply because each person insisted that the other person play exactly when and how he or she wanted. Sometimes the problem is a combination of selfishness and misunderstanding.

I’ve been working on helping my kids know what to do when others are selfish or rude. The biggest recurring example is when one child is in the way of another. So I’ve been suggesting that the child who is trying to clear the way actually explain why he wants the other to move. “Please move so I can jump on the beanbag” or “Please move your stroller so I can launch my car into the living room.”

I’ve found that it helps a good deal of the time. It seems to communicate that the request to move is not based on irritable whim, but with good purpose, although admittedly, sometimes even a reason for a request is not enough to overcome selfishness. In those times, parental mediation is often necessary.

So now I’m wondering… is this approach biblical? Should children be kind even if their sibling is being capricious? Is a baseline of “fairness” a good way to teach them that God’s law is far greater than man’s law (you have heard…. but I say unto you….)?

Still thinking.

This week I read David the account of David and Goliath in the Bible. After I read this portion:

And Saul said to David, Thou art not able to go against this Philistine to fight with him: for thou art but a youth, and he a man of war from his youth.

And David said unto Saul, Thy servant kept his father’s sheep, and there came a lion, and a bear, and took a lamb out of the flock: And I went out after him, and smote him, and delivered it out of his mouth: and when he arose against me, I caught him by his beard, and smote him, and slew him. Thy servant slew both the lion and the bear: and this uncircumcised Philistine shall be as one of them, seeing he hath defied the armies of the living God.

David said moreover, The LORD that delivered me out of the paw of the lion, and out of the paw of the bear, he will deliver me out of the hand of this Philistine. And Saul said unto David, Go, and the LORD be with thee. (from I Samuel 17)

… I asked David why David was so sure that he would kill Goliath, and David’s response surprised me. He said, “Because he killed a lion and a bear.” That’s reasonable, really, and I shouldn’t have been surprised. It is human nature to make assessments such as these based on physical might or past accomplishments.

No, read what David said: “The LORD that delivered me out of the paw of the lion, and out of the paw of the bear, he will deliver me out of the hand of this Philistine.”

It wasn’t David’s faith in himself; it was his confidence in God.

I was a good mom and explained to my son about confidence in self, but I had to stop. Fact is, it was a convicting conversation for me, too. Where is my source of strength? Past successes? My own ability or intellect (for better or worse)? I must remember where my strength comes from. I’m going to have another talk with my children today about that very truth.

How is God’s Word changing you?

This weekend I started a sewing project. It’s been fun to pull out my sewing machine and put it to good use. I’ve not done so since David was a baby, so sewing with children running around has been a new experience.

Of course, they’re curious and hang around for all but the tedious parts (as I told my husband, the actual machine sewing is but a small fraction of the time spent on a project). So I took the time to talk about patterns and how God’s Word is a pattern.

What will be the result of following the pattern of God’s Word? Romans 8:29 tells us.

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.

So, following God’s pattern results in Christlikeness. We talked briefly about what would happen if we decided not to follow the pattern. (I didn’t mention improvisation)

Later, I told David to do something and he did something else (reasonable, but not with complete and crucial knowledge). We talked about living life God’s way. It’s always better than living life our own way.

Now I’m hoping I won’t have to have talks about what to do when disaster strikes while you’re trying to follow the pattern, but that wouldn’t be so bad after all, really, when you consider the eternal weight of glory.