Have you ever been ashamed of yourself? Last night, I was.
My children are still not school age, but I still enjoy finding what will stimulate their minds, and providing an environment that will foster a well trained mind. I don’t think that’s a bad thing, and that’s not the problem. The problem in my case is that I found myself looking at life through the academic lens, and not academics through the lens of God’s Word and Ways.
One of our missionaries we support sent some DVDs of their work, their children and family, and our pastor copied them for the families in our church. I was excited about this, for a fleeting moment about getting to know missions, but the biggest thought was, How wonderful. We can start studying that culture. I wasn’t so much interested in the spiritual value as the academic value. I thought about how much teachers pay for videos of other cultures, and how wonderful that I had one that I didn’t pay for. When I couldn’t get the DVD to work, I was thinking about the lost academic benefits.
When I realized how little I cared about these missionaries personally, how little thought I placed on the spiritual needs of my children and how this could turn their thoughts to value spiritual blessings, I was ashamed. As I further thought about this, I realized I’ve been interested in other cultures and taken advantage of God-given appointments without considering much how God might use that in their lives to give them a burden for the lost. It’s been an academic exercise.
It seems that often I am convicted about something, and after I think about it I remember what God’s Word says. Then I must repent. Maybe the more I study God’s Word, the more it will convict me first. I don’t know. I’m just thankful that God is still working in my life.
Here is what this situation reminds me of:
Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal:
For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.
Where is my treasure? It doesn’t mean I won’t be interested in academics, but that academics is not the goal. It is not how I measure every experience my children face each day. I suppose I need more time getting my world view in line with God’s.