I’m happy to report that I see much improvement in the area of obedience over the last few days, particularly with Bethel. Whether that change is the result of a greater awareness for me to follow through, an exit from a difficult stage, the grace of God, or all of the above, I’m still mindful that it is always God’s grace that I desire to be a godly parent. It is always God’s grace that my children are obedient (when they are!). And any good in them or me is a result of God’s grace in my life.
A Conversation
Mom talks a lot about asking questions, and I’m always wondering what questions I can ask a two or three year old. Questioning is clearly something that takes practice, and that I need more practice with. It still feels a bit awkward sometimes. But this time it came out right.
Discussion:
What did mommy ask you to do?
Bring the boxes to the chair.
What did you do?
Stacked them
Why was mommy unhappy?
I stacked the boxes.
Is stacking boxes bad?
[silence] No, stacking boxes isn’t bad. You have stacked boxes before. Was mommy unhappy because you disobeyed?
Yes.
I think the question that came out that was different from previous questions was helping him to understand that the issue isn’t stacking boxes, but disobedience. Maybe he’s just getting to where he can understand that talk. I don’t think Bethel (2) would get it. She’s still pretty concrete in her thinking.
Bethel and Obedience
Lee observed the other day that he often doesn’t ask Bethel to do something (like help clear the table) because David gets it done faster. I told him that I’ve been avoiding asking her to do something because I don’t want to deal with making sure she obeys. So we’ve been working on obedience lately (in both of our children– see previous post).
We also realized that we never taught Bethel to look at us when we say her name. So we just started working on this.
“Bethel.” (no response)
“Look at mommy” (Bethel looks up)
“When mommy says your name, you must look at her”
I think that will help her struggle with obedience lately. I’ve also been trying to make sure that I’m not distracted when I ask her to obey. Then I can follow through. Part of the problem is that I’ve been asking her to obey, and then not realizing she didn’t until it’s too late. Being more aware also helps me to help her obey– When I ask her to put something away, I’ve been walking with her to do it with her. This seems to have helped a great deal.
As a side note, she recently started saying memory verses at night with us. Lee usually works on a verse with David each night, and Bethel wanted to do it too. What fun!
Pacifier Update
Several weeks ago, Lee decided the children were ready to give up their pacifiers. It was one of those “I think you’re wrong, but I’ll submit anyway” moments. To both of our surprise, they adjusted quite well, and quickly. Bethel has had trouble getting to sleep, although she isn’t asking for the pacifier. I just pulled Baby Tad out of the rotating toybox, and she’s been sleeping with that. Maybe she just found a new comfort item. Lee was kind enough not to say “I told you so” and I did admit that he made the right decision. (and I’m thankful I listened to him)
The only problem now is that Laurel decided she likes a different kind of pacifier, and I have about 10 of the old kind. Oh well!
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