My five year old is not saved. He is particularly reserved when talking about spiritual things, and rarely (if ever) brings up the topic.
I have a great desire to allow the Holy Spirit to draw David to Himself. I know how eager children are to please, and I have no desire for a false profession undergirded by parental statements such as “Of course you’re saved. I remember when…”.
I have watched David develop a sense of guilt. I have watched him in recent months double his effort to “be good” and “do right.” He’s learning all the right answers as we teach him the Word of God along with related catechism. From my human perspective, he is “ready” to be saved; however, I’ve not seen any fruit of repentance in his life, and he doesn’t seem concerned about his spiritual state.
Incidentally, I wonder whether teaching him that regeneration is God’s work alone might cause him to assume that there’s nothing he can do about salvation.
Several times in recent months I’ve brought up salvation, mostly to see how he perceives himself and to correct any misconceptions that he might have. But I’m afraid to push. I am fairly certain if I said, “Do you want to be saved now?” he would answer yes. Would that be genuine conversion? I already wonder how much of his responses are simply given because he perceives it is what I want to hear. His personality is not at all transparent, and I wonder, if the Holy Spirit were drawing David, would he tell me? I wouldn’t be at all surprised for David to say, “Oh, of course I’m saved, and here’s how I know and when it happened….” (I’ve told him “When you’re ready to be saved, then tell mommy or daddy so we can pray with you.” Maybe that’s just my motherly desire for control.)
Thankfully, I don’t have to agonize over my children’s salvation. I can take the matter before the throne of Grace. My heavenly Father is not absent or indifferent to my cry for wisdom and discernment.
God answers prayer quickly. 🙂 As I was proofreading this post, I realize that it may be very helpful to show David (from examples in the Bible, among other ways) what repentance and conviction look like. I know children in general and David in particular often benefit when they’re given vocabulary to express how they’re feeling and thinking. I’m going to give this a matter of serious thought.
I wrestled with some of the exact same things, wanting them to be saved as soon as possible and yet not wanting to push, knowing that if I asked or pressed the matter at all they would likely respond positively. It was great comfort to remember that God wanted them to belong to Him even more than I did and would lead and guide me as well as draw them to Himself.
I think the “what repentance looks like” approach is excellent. I just dealt with an 8 year old boy this week, whose only remorse peeks its head out when he is caught at something. Then it quickly goes back into hiding again. The sorrow of the world vs. godly sorrow. His profession of faith is that he learned about hell when he was 4, and he didn’t want to go there, so he got saved. No mention of sin. He has already been baptized, which gives another “undergirding” (as you said) hurdle to address. *sigh*
Recently, a friend of a friend’s son died unexpectedly. He was 14, and although we didn’t know them personally, the tragedy hit Martin quite strongly and prompted some very good eternal security and salvation questions. I was again encouraged at how something so horrible can be used by God to work in the lives of others – even so far removed from the situation! – to glorify Himself.