As I think about chores, I’m realizing that regardless of my actions, I need to make some changes in my attitude. The wrath of man does not work God’s righteousness. So this week and next, I’ll be working on some areas in my own life that need attention.
As for my children, I could launch right into establishing consequences for inadequate obedience, but the thought has occurred to me that I probably should do some teaching first. So, in the next few days, I’m going to talk deliberately about work (not just when I’m irritated that they’re not doing what I expect, as I’ve been doing).
Where shall I start? I’ve alluded to
For even when we were with you, we commanded you this: If anyone will not work, neither shall he eat. II Thessalonians 3:10
I think we’ll talk about this first. As part of connecting work and eating, I need to be more consistent getting things cleaned up before mealtimes rather than after or worse, when the inspiration hits. I think that routine will be helpful for us all.
The ant passage is another good one. Perhaps it would be a good thing to purchase an ant farm, too. I remember last fall I made ant headbands for the children and they worked diligently for awhile. Maybe I should get those back out when we reread the ant passage. I suppose our children are like us adults; we need repetition occasionally.
Go to the ant, you sluggard!
Consider her ways and be wise,
7 Which, having no captain,
Overseer or ruler,
8 Provides her supplies in the summer,
And gathers her food in the harvest.
9 How long will you slumber, O sluggard?
When will you rise from your sleep?
10 A little sleep, a little slumber,
A little folding of the hands to sleep—
11 So shall your poverty come on you like a prowler,
And your need like an armed man. Proverbs 6:6-11
That’s all for now.
I think the ant head bands are a great idea. Sometimes, children need a little fun in the cleaning to help get it going, I think. I’ve seen songs work wonders to get a child to clean up. You can select a song that the children know is the “clean up” song, and pretty soon, as soon as they hear it, they know what it means. Also, taking pictures of them enjoying thier work, and then posting the pictures is a good reminder that work can be fun. Even offering choice is a good way to encourage work. For example, if there are 5 chores that need to get done, they can pick one or two, and the next day someone else gets to pick first. posting the job list with pictures of your children is really good for this.
I know you are a much more seasoned mom than I am, but I used to do research in early childhood centers on methods that work, and these were some. =0 )
Monica,
“Seasoning” is not all it takes to be a great mom. =) I am fairly seasoned (47 years old, with kids ranging from 2 to 12), but clueless when it comes to “fun” ideas like this. It is just not naturally part of my thought processes…so thanks for sharing them!
My children are at an age that I can tie privileges to the fulfillment of responsibility: cleaning the room comes before playing any electronics. On the days when I’m at work and they are all at home, I leave a list of chores usually assigned to a specific child (age appropriate difficulty) and they have to call me at work to let me know when they are done so they can then move on to fun activities.
I’ve done a lot of saying you all live her and make the messes, so you all get to help clean them up. I ask them if they’d rather do my chores while I do theirs. They never want to trade! 🙂 Can’t imagine why not!
I have also resorted to toy jail for things they refuse to pick up in the family living areas or the things they leave out at the end of the day. I usually remind them that toy jail is going to happen. Then they scurry around to pick up their treasures.
The biggest mess we have to contend with are clothing items in the bedrooms and Legos.
You are wise to establish routines and give instruction and Scriptural motivation. Sometimes when the mess in the boys’ room is overwhelming to them and to me, I’ll sit in there with them and hand them things to put away and point out individual items for them. Those are not very positive times for us!
I wish you good success in your venture! Remember every bit of this sort of discipline helps them for the future. Hang in there!
Agreed, Monica. You can always share ideas. 🙂 We’ll see how we do.
Traci: Re “every bit of this sort of discipline helps them for the future.” Thanks for this encouragement. I really do believe that the work now will eventually pay off. This is one way that I can change my thinking (instead of worrying about how they’re not fulfilling my expectations, I can remember the goal and press toward that mark. I want them to now the freedom that comes from Spirit-led discipline.
I think it’s been about a year since the boys have been cleaning up their room all by themselves (8 and 6). I was continually frustrated by the little things left around the edges of the room after they rendered it “clean”, even when giving simple – but specific!! – instructions. It helped when I started saying “there should be only carpet”. It’s hilarious, because, even though Martin (NOT geared towards being detailed in anything but book-making and historical facts recited from memory) still doesn’t get everything on the first sweep…but…he’s learning to check his work…which is really what I’m looking for anyway (dependability/responsibility as opposed to perfection). And Philip (aka The Ball of Intensity, and VERY detailed) always makes a grand entrance to announce he’s put away EVERYTHING in front of his dresser, and there’s “ONLY! CARPET!”. ha!
Both results – after a couple years of teaching and grief on my part – are quite rewarding. lol