Dear Weary Mama,
Today as we talked, I saw a question in your eyes that wondered if you were a failure as a mama. As I watch you with your children, I can tell that you’re not a failure. It’s true that you’re having a hard time loving them, but that’s not the same thing as failure.
I’m praying for you.
First, I’m praying that you will become confident in where you stand with Christ. That’s because God’s children are given the resources they need to learn how to love their children. Look at this passage in First John, which clearly shows both God’s part (showing us how to love, and making us like him), and our part (purifying ourselves).
See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him. 2 Beloved, we are God’s children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is. 3 And everyone who thus hopes in him purifies himself as he is pure. I John 3:1-3
Dear Weary Mama, seek first the kingdom of God, and God’s righteousness. Everything else will fall into place. If you are unsure that you are a child of God, you will lack confidence in Christ that will bring peace and joy as a mama. And if you’re not a child of God, you will lack the ability to love the kids the way you would like to.
My second prayer is that you will rest in the discovery that learning to love your children is an expected and normal process. Remember that Titus instructed the older women to actually teach the young mamas how to love their children. If you feel lost, it’s okay! You’re still learning. And if you don’t have a good example nearby, then you still have the Holy Spirit teaching you. It’s no problem for him to help.
Older women are to “teach what is good, 4 and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. Titus 2:3b-5
If loving children was always black and white, and super simple, then God would not have told the older mamas to teach how to do it!
Dear Weary Mama, I love you and am praying for you today. I am still learning how to love my children, but I will share what God is teaching me.
Moreover, as for me, far be it from me that I should sin against the Lord by ceasing to pray for you, and I will instruct you in the good and the right way. 24 Only fear the Lord and serve him faithfully with all your heart. For consider what great things he has done for you. I Samuel 12:23-24
Are you sure you didn’t write this to me… It’s like you could have just titled it, “Dear Denise,”. I’m ever so grateful for your transparency and faithfulness in pointing me to the Gospel and the comforts of Christ!
Thanks, Denise! I wrote it for us all! Your feedback is a great encouragement to me.
Thank you for this wonderful and encouraging post….there are many times I feel tired, weary, and just plain discouraged as a new mom…there are times I just don’t know what to do or know what I’m doing when faced with a new situation concerning my children… but I know the Lord does!! 🙂 The verse Isaiah 55:8-9 brings me great comfort! Thank you for this website…. it’s a real gem and help as I embark in raising my children to love and serve the Lord.
Elizabeth, Thanks for your comments! Isaiah 55 is one of my all time favorite chapters! I am also encouraged by Isaiah 40:11– Our God is a kind shepherd who gently leads the mamas– God bless you!