When an offense is unintended (as far as I can tell), and Bethel is crying “David knocked me down!” I usually tell David what to say, ifÂ he hasn’t already said it.
Say “I’m sorry. Are you okay?” Give Bethel a hug so she knows you’re not upset with her.
When an offense is intended (being mean, even ifÂ they don’t realize it is mean), and Bethel is crying “David knocked me down!” I also tellÂ what to say, if he hasn’t already said it.
Pushing when you are angry is unkind. Say “Bethel, will you forgive me for being unkind?”
Then I will make sure Bethel says, “I forgive you” and gives David a hug so he knows she is not upset with him. If there is something immediate that David can do to make restitution, then I will give further instruction.
For example, this morning while David was putting away his train tracks, Bethel stepped on his dump truck so David couldn’t use it to put tracks away. He told her “NO!” fairly angrily, and I told him to tell her exactly what he didn’t want her to do. I suggested he say, “Please do not step on my truck.” Bethel looked at him and very deliberately put one toe on his truck. That’s when I intervened.