I was at someone else’s house, away from the other adults, watching my children and other children play together. I was glad for the opportunity. The hostess had set up a tiny kiddie pool full of soapy water, and gave the children hangers to make huge bubbles. They loved it, and soon had imagined that one child was a jailer who had to capture the escaped prisoners (bubbles).
One of the boys decided to respond to a successful “capture” with an upraised fist and a gruff Curse you! at the jailer, a la superhero style. Predictably, this addition caught on, much to my discomfort. I started wondering how to respond to this development. The boys were innocently and exuberantly “cursing” one another; they had no idea that a curse is a serious matter. My dear son who has quite limited knowledge of superhero lore shouted with the rest of them.
After much deliberation, I let it go until later, although I am still not satisfied that I handled the matter wisely. I didn’t interrupt, mostly because I didn’t see it as the same seriousness as potty mouth or taking the Lord’s name in vain. I knew that had I intervened, their play would probably have fizzled. Was it the fear of man that kept me from acting? I am remembering now that I didn’t pray about it, and I should have.
What do you think? What’s wrong with saying curse you? Or am I over analyzing and overreacting? I’m not opposed to superhero play, mind you, or superheroes (although I do deliberately avoid bringing superheroes into our home). I am opposed to crass, vulgar, or profane elements that are present in modern day superhero movies, but I do recognize the vivid portrayal of the struggle between good and evil could be beneficial in developing the God-given desire to protect and defend what is right.
Not over-analyzing or overreacting, in my opinion. Perhaps next time you can suggest (and enforce, if called for! lol) something more suitable for the occasion. (I’d find “curse you” unacceptable and borderline offensive, too!) Having two boys in the house (ages 7 and 5), makes for lots of verbal redirection in our house!!
Suggesting a better comment is a fantastic response. So, then, experienced mother of two boys in the house, what would you have suggested? (all in retrospect, of course)
See…I *knew* you were going to ask that. lol! I’d have to be in the moment, I guess! Around here, there’s a lot of physical, good-vs.-evil play…and it’s true that when my kids get together with others, the term “reckless abandon” comes to mind…! You and I are on the same page with this one, I’m sure. I’m usually making the kids giggle (when I’m playing the bad guy) by fiercely threatening something like, “Disband, or I’ll blast you to the moon!”, etc.
Those are good thoughts, but I often don’t think of the good responses in the moment. You’ve hit on something with the humor element. Maybe simple exaggeration of something silly (like fifty lashes with a wet noodle) would be effective in a situation like this.
I think that children’s inherent pliability (that a word?) is so precious. And thrilling when we can deftly use these opportunities not to fret but to simply re-direct the “fallen” influences of the world around them. This is something I’m slowly learning to do…it’s quite a journey after my narrow, fretful background…lol…but much more healthy in the long run, I believe.
I think this goes back to giving children a Christian World View– teaching them how to see the world around them through God’s eyes.