If a child says he’s saved, should you believe him and treat him as saved?
That’s the question we’ve been tossing around these days.
I’m not talking about a child parents believe may not understand salvation. I’m talking about the fear many Christian parents have of an insincere profession from a child who understands salvation.
I’ve actually read advice from Christian authors that parents shouldn’t treat their children like they are saved until the children demonstrate “fruit” of salvation. They are cautioned that joy over a salvation decision shouldn’t be interpreted as fruit. That makes me uncomfortable.
Here’s what I’m thinking.
Another parable put he forth unto them, saying, The kingdom of heaven is likened unto a man which sowed good seed in his field:
25But while men slept, his enemy came and sowed tares among the wheat, and went his way.
26But when the blade was sprung up, and brought forth fruit, then appeared the tares also.
27So the servants of the householder came and said unto him, Sir, didst not thou sow good seed in thy field? from whence then hath it tares?
28He said unto them, An enemy hath done this. The servants said unto him, Wilt thou then that we go and gather them up?
29But he said, Nay; lest while ye gather up the tares, ye root up also the wheat with them.
30Let both grow together until the harvest: and in the time of harvest I will say to the reapers, Gather ye together first the tares, and bind them in bundles to burn them: but gather the wheat into my barn. Matthew 13:24-30
The Bible actually talks about how we should handle professions of faith, several times. We’re told that in the beginning, it’s impossible to tell the difference between genuine and false professions of faith. That’s a hard pill to swallow for any parent. But it helps me to know that, given evidence that my child understands salvation and their testimony of having received Christ as Savior, I should treat that child as I do any other professing believer. Then I should choose to trust God.
Can I know for certain whether any person, other than my own self, is saved? No. God’s Word tells me this.
Do the actions of people give reason to doubt the salvation of a person? yes. (Passages in First John)
Is it ever appropriate to question the salvation of a person? yes and no. Most of the Scriptures I can think of are really instruction for self examination. I am not reluctant to encourage someone to examine himself. I am far more reluctant to say “I don’t think you’re saved.”
Should I couch every biblical instruction with a “If Christ has indeed saved you…” I hope you agree with me that this is not appropriate. To do this calls into question God’s Word, which clearly states that when we call on God, he WILL save us. I’m more apt to confuse a child than help him by talking this way.
This issue seems to be rooted in a need to trust God with the salvation of our children. Do not worry about tomorrow! Seek first the kingdom of God today!
I need to pray for my children, to teach them about salvation, to respond with joy to evidence that they are drawing near to God. I need wisdom how to treat a saved child in the middle of children who have not been saved. I shouldn’t love a saved child any more than unsaved children.
By the way, my sister-in-law Rebecca gave me a book last year that handled salvation and children better than any other treatment I’ve seen. I have wanted to go through it slowly and review it, but in the meantime, I give it to you here.
stephanie says
I agree if a person claims to be a christian, you treat them as such. Additionally, I think that means that as the spiritual shepherd of that child there is a responsibility to challenge them to examine their hearts. If a child (or young person) is HABITUALLY unteachable, sullen, disrespectful, rebellious,unrepentant etc., I would be compelled to counsel them and urge them to see if they were really saved. I would pray for their salvation and would not be comfortable telling others that they were saved because of something they prayed as a child. I guess this stems from my experiences with youth and parents over the years. Also, if an adult who professed belief exhibited continual such sinful behaviour in the church isn’t this what we would expect the elders do – rebuke the sin and urge them to examine their hearts?
I do agree that we do not need to plant seeds of doubt in our children’s minds by saying “if you’re saved” once they have made a profession of faith. Such words are useful in general instruction, esp with younger ones so they don’t get false ideas that everyone gets to heaven or will be with Jesus.
Michelle says
Stephanie– I think I agree with all you say here. I think it IS appropriate at times to challenge a person’s salvation testimony, as the apostle Paul does. On the other hand, sometimes I wonder though how much of a child’s sullen and rebellious attitude is self-fulfilling prophecy of the adults around him. I’ve on occasion been surprised at the spiritual depth of adults I might have given up on when they were in their teen years. How many teens and children are bruised reeds that Jesus ministered to? (Isaiah 42:3 and Matthew 12:20) Where would our Pauls and John Marks be without the Barnabus?
Like you said– parents should be careful not to speak in such a way that assumes the salvation of children who don’t understand or haven’t made a profession of faith. That’s important.
Laura says
My children have all made a profession of faith….of sorts, but I pray daily that the Holy Spirit would draw them near to Him because frankly, I’m not sure. There doesn’t seem to be a great deal of fruit, but there will be little jems that spring up now and again. As a shepherd I try not to get too bogged down in the “are they or not”, because I find I need to bathe myself in the gospel regularly, so I want to do that with them as well. When I sense a strong rebellion, lack of acceptance of responsibility for sin, lack of willingness to confess, I will challenge them to examine their heart and seek the wisdom and strength of God. My 8 year old has been asking recently to be baptized. I believe it is because we told her that was a prerequisite for taking communion. I believe her desire to be baptized has more to do with wanting to try the grape juice and crackers than to profess her faith. I did challenge her though to write out her “testimony” for practice as she would be required to give it in order to be baptized. I was amazed at what I received. I could see some holes that need to be filled in, but now I know what they are! I believe she has a deep understanding of her sinfulness, and need for forgiveness, but the issue of how to handle on-going sin is not clear I think. We have been having a terrible time with a rebellious attitude from her and I reminded her the other day that though I knew she would never be perfect, her on-going rebellion, and her lack of acknowledgment of the problem with it gave me great concern as to where her heart was and the need for her to examine it. Satan can do wonders at blinding us and tricking us, so this is an issue we need to be careful with. Much to think about.
Michelle says
I think you’re right that it’s not good to get bogged down in worry about a genuine conversion, while at the same time addressing the issue when appropriate. Another wisdom issue, to be sure! Thanks for sharing.