We’ve really been talking a lot at our house about how love sees things in the best light. That’s because children (and adults, too) naturally don’t give people the benefit of the doubt. Lately we’ve had a lot of conflict (instant screaming, instant hurt feelings, instant anger) simply because a child assumed something untrue.
A little while ago, an adult was unfaithful regarding a promise to one of our children. I wrestled with helping our children see things in the best light, but as time went by, it was harder to do so honestly.
So we talked about motives and mitigating circumstances: It may be true that an adult has sinned, but there may be a situation that we don’t know about, and that uncertainty should cause us to be patient. So we talked about some possibilities in our own situation. David suggested another.
I mentioned that judging motives isn’t something God wants us to do (I was thinking the passage in Romans 14, but I’m not sure it is the best passage in this situation). David brought up another passage that he thought was helpful in this situation.
And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? 4 Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye? 5 Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. Matthew 7:3-5
At the moment, I was thinking more about judging motives, and not self examination. I didn’t really follow up David’s suggestion, other than a half-hearted, “sure, that’s a good verse, too.” I could have done more, though. I could have seen his suggestion as evidence of how he was thinking, and tried to discover that. It really would have been better to postpone my thought path and look at David’s.
Then David suggested that I blog about that verse, so finally, I am dutifully blogging. Maybe I should start wondering how God would use this passage in my own situations. That might be, oh, rather convicting.
Man, this parenting thing gets harder and more complicated, huh? 😉 Thanks helping me look ahead. =)
And well done, David! It’s a blessing to witness (through a blog) a child who knows the Word of God.
No, not hard, rather, mentally invigorating. 🙂 In some ways, parenting has been a pleasant way to learn lessons that I need more than my children do! Parenting shows me when my theology is shallow, or when I’ve been smugly satisfied with platitudes. When I have to think hard to break down a biblical lesson for a child, I’m forced to think better about it than I would otherwise. In this case, I must confess that I was guilty of the same problem as the other adult today. 🙁 I would not have been convicted about it had I not been talking about it with my children.