Wherever did I get the idea that children learn not to whine and scream for things within a few days or a week of dealing with it properly? I am intrigued how often I expect instant learning and 100% compliance from my children, when I still don’t always respond well when I don’t get my way. Then, when my children don’t learn as quickly as I expect they should, I get discouraged.
I’m pretty sure we’re acting wisely and consistently when we respond to our three year old. Although she can obediently change her request/demand on cue, she still regularly starts off with a whine or scream.
I don’t know if I’m quite able to keep track of amount of whining, but I think I’m going to try. That way I’ll be able to tell objectively if there’s improvement.
We’ll see. (Other factors: all kids are still a little more emotional from the move, all the kids seemed to have a spike in whining at this age)
And… it is true that I have debated about whether to make our children correct how they ask for something, and then give it to them, or not allow them to have what they’ve asked for, period. I think age makes a difference, as does the amount of teaching that a child has. I do know that I’ve done more of the second approach lately, in an effort to get the right action the first try.
Perhaps I need to remind myself not to be weary in well doing.
And let us not grow weary while doing good,
for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. Gal 6:9
Yes, don’t grow weary! I have a whiner, and what I have started doing is sending her to her room until she can talk like a “big girl,” I know that goes against some conservative teachings about discipline, but it does seem to work. Now, N is four, but she’s now catching herself and stopping and saying whatever it is the right way. Some days it’s 20 times in a hour I send her to the other room, but it seems to be working.