I am uneasy about celebrating Halloween.
While it is true that the history of celebrating Halloween is rooted in paganism and evil things, Halloween remains a holiday emphasizing death and evil, scary things. I’d be less uncomfortable if the holiday today was completely different than the origins of the holiday. But they’re not. I don’t like that. I have Christ in my heart, and celebrating the grotesque seems inconsistent.
Saying “trick or treat” means something. In the adult world we call it extortion. Why, then, do we at best teach our children that what they say doesn’t matter? Are the sweet children the essence of Halloween, or the teenagers destroying property as a “prank”? Is it inconsequential that we encourage greediness on this day and call it good?
The popularity with children comes down to two things: free candy and dressing up.
I wonder if parents who would normally feel uncomfortable with all that Halloween stands for, go along with it because otherwise they’d have mutiny among their children. I am not suggesting that trick or treating is sinful. Or that parents who decide to take their children trick or treating are being led by their children (considering our children’s needs and desires is a good, biblical action, after all, and children at different ages have different needs). I do want to consider though, whether my response is because of the rightness of the decision, or because my children will be happy or unhappy with my decision.
Our family sees giving candy on Halloween as a good thing; those children who come to our door don’t know or care about the meaning of Halloween. Most of them aren’t threatening extortion, and we’re thankful for the opportunity to share God’s love with them. As for my own children, I recognize that even they don’t understand or care that the origin of Halloween was evil. I feel the tension as I weigh the consequences of asking my children to be different than every neighbor child, and even half the children in our church, perhaps. I have wondered whether I’m overreacting to the culture of Halloween, even as I want to insist “But these things have meaning, even if not everyone recognizes it!”
I finally decided something about Halloween and trick or treating.
If Christianity means something, then we should embrace a culture of life, not death, of giving and loving, not grabbing and threatening. Christians must be different in how they approach Halloween.
Lots of ways to be different, but here’s what I’m planning:
Get lots of candy to give to our neighbors. Have children take turns giving it away. We did this last year, and the children enjoyed being the ones to hand out candy. I suspect they still will. I want our home to be happy, not scary– lots of lights, happy music playing, children playing. Christianity is a culture of life, not death. I don’t feel compelled to give out Halloween tracts– but I think if you have a good one, it’s a good idea. If you do give tracts, give out GOOD candy.
Send my children with something to give to our neighbors. I’ve not made caramel yet for anyone here, so I think this is what we’ll do. That way, the neighbors can give them candy if they like, but the main purpose for us is giving, not getting. Is it better to give than receive? I’d like to print something out on card stock that says hello and why we are giving at this time. I’ll probably have let them dress up if they like, and take the candy on Halloween, but I don’t feel strongly about this.
Is that too odd? The difference between giving and taking is one reason I feel comfortable handing out Halloween candy, and giving neighbors candy, but am not comfortable sending my children trick or treating. It makes sense to me, but will it to my children? What will the neighbors think? What will other Christians who do go trick or treating think?
I like the idea of a Harvest Party or a Reformation Party. My brother’s church long ago did a carnival for the children each year– all the adults managed booths where the children played games for candy. Since our church isn’t doing anything like that this year, I’m on my own. I could invite some friends over and make our own party. I can imagine something fun enough that my children think to themselves, “This is better.” (For the record, I’m not a crowds and party person– but I think at our children’s ages, having something is important. Maybe we’ll have a foosball tournament, play games, eat lots of candy.)
It’s also a good time for asking questions and talking about how Christ makes a difference. Here’s what I’m planning to ask (I’m sure I can think of more):
- Why do children like Halloween so much? What do children not like about Halloween?
- What does it mean when people say “Trick or Treat”?
- What is more important to a Christian: life or death?
- What does God say about giving? grabbing? candy? [wisdom verses alert!]
Regardless of what you do for Halloween, Christ should be a part of the discussions you have with your children. What other questions would you ask?
Your thoughts echo mine. Sadly, we don’t have a light-filled alternative where we are right now. We have opted to allow the children to dress up and we go to grandma’s, where they are given a bag of goodies and spend some time with family. It’s a small town so we let them go door to door on one street. Evne that, we are uncomfortable with. We do not call it celebrating Halloween. I don’t know. I struggle with this every single year. One of these days we will come to a full conclusion. I know that dressing up is innocent and fun, but you cannot escape everything else on that day that is not so.
Such a helpful post! I’ve remained uncomfortable with Halloween for a long time. And for all the same questions you have. This statement particularly highlights it: “I have Christ in my heart, and celebrating the grotesque seems inconsistent.”
We’ve lived in our neighborhood for nearly 6 years, and only have one neighbor…and no children from the surrounding area wander down our dark cul-de-sac on Halloween, so we’re off the hook Halloween evening! (Whew. ha!)
I tend to dislike Harvest Parties simply because it’s giving an alternative on the evening of a nationally celebrated holiday that we’re trying to avoid. They tend to be an obvious redressing of what we’re against in the first place, honestly…and when we attended a couple times, it was obvious the kids got that. 🙂
So for now they dress up for our preschool playgroup’s annual “Halloween” party where some come in costume, some don’t, and it’s just another visiting/playing time. They look forward to the costumes and the snacks…and seeing their friends. I’ve pondered if this is an inconsistency, but it’s so far removed from the actual day besides being an entirely different dynamic from trick-or-treating that for now other than hosting our own in-house dress up day it’s a pretty innocent way to go.
In fact, we do the same for Easter Egg Hunts. If there’s one on-site at church on Easter morning, we don’t participate, because the kids literally become obsessed with it and can’t even focus on the service. But we’ll go to the playgroup egg hunt two weeks before, or I’ll arrange our own the week after Easter Sunday.
Sort of the same reasoning for both Halloween and Easter – neither costumes or eggs are sinful, but unwise to acknowledge the same “holiday” our society celebrates, so we choose to do the fun stuff separated from the actual day.
Nicole, the reason I wrote this post was to tell others that I wrestle with this day, too. Part of my problem was that I don’t really know whether the other mothers feel the same way I do, or whether they think I’m being legalistic. When I considered the possibility that other mothers had the same fear of speaking up that I did, I realized I shouldn’t perpetuate the problem by silence. Like you, I haven’t solved anything. 🙂
Gina, I like how you separate the fun stuff from the day. I think that’s a good approach. I’m still considering your aversion to Harvest Parties. You may be right, but I’m still not convinced that for some age groups, having a place to assemble on this specific day might help them when they cannot understand why their parents are uncomfortable with all that free candy.
…and the Harvest Parties aversion may only be practical while my kids are young and (mostly) controllable. Martin (10 now!) is good to jump on my bandwagon with the younger kids, but usually only after some time has passed and I’ve consistently presented my reasoning for certain things. But I’m sure we’ll handle the older, more challenging years differently. I can’t honestly think I’d deprive my older kids of the great fun of carnivaling/volunteering at a Harvest Party on Halloween night if they really wanted to go. (For now, we’re happy tho. lol)
I’ve struggled with this since having kids. I’ve thought about how I saw the holiday when a child and can honestly say it was about the candy and I thought nothing about the scary or death. My dear husband and I don’t see eye to eye exactly on it, so we have participated in both trick-or treating, and harvest parties. The kids had dad take them last year and ended up with enough candy for 100 kids so now that is all they can think about. Our church has AWANA on Sunday evening so they are planning a fun event where the children will earn tickets for saying verses, bringing friends, etc. from last week until Halloween and I would LOVE to just do that, so now I need to really think about what you said regarding doing something based on my children’s happiness or unhappiness. They really want to do trick-or treating instead but I agree with you in that I don’t like it. Thanks for sharing about this. I know many think too much thought goes into it and we end up making a bigger deal out of than need be since many of the kids, especially young ones, don’t really recognize the “bad” they just see it as a time to get candy. As they get older, though, you really need to think about what we’re communicating. Do we make a statement for good by being different, or do we just look silly and legalistic? I really enjoy Thanksgiving more than Halloween. 🙂
Laura– I think your experience is exactly the same for most children, where Halloween simply means candy. You’re right about the need for more conversations as our children get older. I know that I don’t want to be silly or “legalistic”– but I don’t think that different needs to be offensive. My question to myself is, “How can I be light and salt on this day?” I tend to think that there is some ambivalence about Halloween even among unsaved families, and I want to be speaking up for them, too. But I don’t think it’s a sin issue– if my husband loved trick or treating, I wouldn’t make an issue of it, and I can think of situations where trick or treating might be the last item on my list to deal with regarding my children. So I really do think each situation is different.
To add to this conversation, and this is not my personal belief about the holiday, but when I was discussing it with a fellow Christian and voicing my discomfort, she told me, “If we always take everything away from our kids that is fun, they are never going to want to be Christians. It’s going to all become a list of do’s and don’ts to them”
Growing up in a church that was a bunch of do’s and don’ts, this resonated with me to a point. Her idea was “there is nothing wrong with candy and costumes,” but thinking back on it, there’s nothing wrong with drinking soda and eating peanuts, but doing so in a nightclub would be inappropriate, if not wrong, for a Christian. Perhaps there is a parallel.
This is a young Christian and I didn’t confront her logic at that point, but I am beginning (a year later) to see fault with it. If evil is, in fact, evil, then we need to call it so and trust that the marvelous grace God provides us and the other blessings of the Christian life will provide fulfillment for our children as they grow in Christ. On the flip side, I am not opposed to giving them an alternative where they can dress up and get candy without embracing the rest of this holiday.
hi! i go to lighthouse a friend told me about you blogs ive been reading and loving it ever since when i read this one i wanted to comment i see were all in the same boat when it comes to halloween and that awkward feeling when the time comes around i have a daughter that will be 2 next month she is my first so were still planning things out like this. last year we did the harvest festival thing but i felt like we were still participating in the holiday i dont agree with. i dont even agree with passing out candy im afraid it will just make my daughter interested in dressing up and wanting to go door to door for candy also, so this year we decided we weren’t going to participate at all even thought its really hard and the world sure does love to make us feel like weirdos lol God never promised it would be easy i plan on just teaching my daughter why we dont celebrate it and that its a day to remember just because (almost) everyone else does it doesnt mean anything a wrong is a wrong if it offends God it should also offend us and we are NOT OF THIS WORLD!
Hi Nichole! Thanks for your thoughts. It’s true– we often forget that Jesus told us that the world would not love our decisions. That’s important for us to remember, even as we are trying to avoid causing needless offense.