It was a wonderful day a week or so ago when Bethel learned to say “No.” David asked her a question at the dinner table, and she answered “no.” David’s response showed her that she had indeed communicated exactly what she wanted, and her instant delight was apparent.

It’s a communication milestone. Now I can help her say “no” to David when he does something she doesn’t like (instead of screaming). Now she is able to more clearly communicate what she wants (instead of crying when I don’t understand her gibberish). “No” also means “Oh, no!” when she drops something or something falls apart.

But what about the discipline issue? Isn’t learning to say no a bad thing? An evidence of rebellion? Sure, but the rebellion doesn’t start when she learns to say no. It’s just a new way to express herself. And she hasn’t learned that it’s not okay to say “No” when mommy asks her to do something. It’s clear she’s simply expressing her desire, not indicating rebellion. “No, I don’t really want to stop what I am doing.” And that’s okay– many times I don’t want to do right either. She’ll figure out that answering no when she’s asked to obey (indicating a refusal to obey) isn’t a good thing, but she has to be taught.

Growing up, we were always talking. Whatever we were doing, we were talking about it. Whenever we drove places, we were always talking (or singing). In fact, my brother and I were quite surprised one day when we rode in a car with a mom who imposed silence on any trip. (she didn’t like the noise)

Years later, I also find myself always talking, just as my mom did when we were small. It’s been kind of funny because David has never really given much of an indication that he’s aware or interested in what we talk about. When we had construction trucks across the street from us, I had to go get a construction book at the library so I could correctly identify what kind of trucks we were seeing. No response. When I was making mac and cheese (from a box– shameful!), and David was watching the water boil, I talked about the water escaping into the air (steam). No response. No questions.

Sometimes, David would be in the car, and he would say, “mommy, mommy, mommy” over and over again. Took me awhile, but I finally figured out he was trying to make conversation, but didn’t know what to say (I now quickly suspect this when a child repeats himself often!)That’s when I started just telling him where we were going, what street we were on, and which direction we would be turning on next. Again, little indication that he cared what we were talking about.

I’ve also tried to explain what we’re doing when we’re about to do something out of the ordinary (like trips, or errands that we are running). I’ll explain what we’ll do first, what we’ll do at each stop, where we’ll go, and so on. I’ve found that David in particular doesn’t resist change nearly as much if he knows what to expect. Lately, David has been giving evidence that he has been listening, and he’s remembering many details that have been given to him along the way.

Now that he’s been talking more, I’m realizing anew how important all that talking has been to him. His vocabulary is quite large. He is happier knowing what is going on around him in the world. Talking throughout the day is good.

But how much talking do I do about the things of the Lord? How often do my explanations about how the world works go beyond a simple “God did that.” If talking about boiling water is valuable, I need to be talking about what God is doing more. The problem is, I don’t often think about God during the day– I’m not meditating on his word “day and night” as Psalm 1 says. So if I’m not thinking these thoughts, then how can I verbalize them? I don’t think the solution is somehow artificially talking about spiritual things. I’d be happy if I can find myself remembering what I read in my Bible reading that morning. Which reminds me, I haven’t even done that yet. Guess it’s hard to remember what you haven’t read, huh?