Sharing My Efforts to Apply God's Word to My Life as Mom. Wisdom Is the Principal Thing.
I finally realized that Bethel has been saying “help.” I am just not recognizing it. I’ve heard several different versions, but she’s clearly inviting me to assist her.
Sigh. If I don’t notice she’s asking for help, she’ll stop because it doesn’t do any good. Crying gets mommy’s attention better.
My prayer for today is that I will be attentive to my children’s needs. And this thought makes me thankful that God is a loving Heavenly Father whose ears are open to my cry.
I’m always amazed at how some bit of insight into a child’s motivation or development comes at just the right time. Perhaps he shows an interest in an area, or makes a comment that helps you understand him better. I believe God helps us to be aware of these insights and understand their implications for decision making in our kids’ lives.
For example, I’m still thinking through David’s adjustment to life in NM. It seemed life was fine. But some of his responses to life lately seem not typical of him. So I’ve slowed down to consider his needs. I think using the music/ light in the morning was a God-given insight from my husband. I’ve used music before for David, but not in this context.
Yesterday, a conversation with David revealed what may be more insight into his recent behavior. As we sat at lunch, David commented that we three made a triangle. Sure enough, if you connected our plates with imaginary lines, you’d see a triangle. I asked what would happen if somebody sat at the empty side of the table, and he said instantly, “That would be a diamond.” In a few seconds he added, “If we put plates here and here and here and here [indicating the four corners of the table], we would have a square.” Now, our kids’ grandparents think they’re geniuses, but I’ve never thought of them as anything but bright kids developing along a normal curve (and so they have). But this comment floored me, and gave me the thought that perhaps that little brain of his is asking for more.
So now I’m thinking through what I can do to keep his brain busy. Last night, I grew thankful as I thought about our conversation and how it helped me to consider another reason for his behavior that I might not have thought of. I wonder if I can help him speed up his “putting away toys” behavior by activating more of his brain. (so far, seeing how fast we can go hasn’t cut it)
Wisdom is what we need more than anything else. It is more precious than all the riches you could ask for, more precious than a large house, more precious than a bounty of toys, more precious than all the child-rearing books by godly people you can collect. May I be searching for wisdom today, on my knees in humility, knowing that I cannot rear my children as I ought apart from God’s mercy and grace.
[See the update I made when I realized I wasn’t really describing wisdom here!]
Since yesterday, David again seemed lethargic as he got ready, I decided I wasn’t going to let him get ready by himself for awhile. He seemed like he needed the extra interaction. Last night, Lee suggested that before I try that, I put on happy music for him while he gets ready.
So this morning as soon as he got up, I opened his blinds all the way and put on music. Then I told him to get ready. This made such a huge difference I was amazed. He got ready quicker, and seemed much happier.
Had a fascinating experience on Saturday. We had company on Friday (everybody in my husband’s clinic, plus spouses and children). I tried very hard not to be too stressed but getting things done ahead of time. I’ve already noticed how my children reflect my stress, but this time I thought we all were handling it quite well. We had about 12 adults and six children. The kids had a blast, and played hard. They went to bed a little later than they normally do, but not much.
Then Saturday morning hit. I know what they say about cleaning up before you go to bed after a party, but this expectant mama wasn’t going to do it. Lee and I spent some time in the morning on the computer (avoiding the kitchen). What was fascinating was David. Now, he’s gotten rather pokey getting ready in the morning, and since I’m forever hurrying him up, I have decided to let him get ready in the morning at his pace (that usually means playing with his toys in his bedroom as he’s getting dressed).
The problem was, when I went in to check on him (he was taking a very long time), he was lying down on his bed. He said he was very tired. Then later, he had fallen asleep. I think he was asleep most of the morning, and into the afternoon. I finally went in around 2:00 and woke him up for lunch. In the middle of lunch, he excused himself to go to the bathroom, but instead he went to lie down.
Lee and I considered what was going on in his little head. It is true that he played very hard the night before. He did go to bed somewhat late (although no later than a midweek service night). Still, it seemed a little extreme even for these factors. Then we realized that his room was a mess– all his puzzles were out (and overturned), his cars were scattered, and he had clothes on his floor. We wondered whether his lethargy was because of his environment, so instead of starting with the kitchen, we started with his room. Sure enough, he perked up immediately and was fine the rest of the day.
We think this was the problem. Wow! But it shouldn’t surprise me, because I react the same way many times.