A little more than a year ago, God gave me some insight into my son’s personality and I wrote a happy post called “What Wisdom Sometimes Looks Like.” There’s one small problem with this post: I do not believe the example is one of biblical wisdom. I’m not applying any Scripture; I’m not applying any scriptural principles. In short, I believe I made a significant (although common) error.
Here is what I said, and see if you agree.
I’m always amazed at how some bit of insight into a child’s motivation or development comes at just the right time. Perhaps he shows an interest in an area, or makes a comment that helps you understand him better. I believe God helps us to be aware of these insights and understand their implications for decision making in our kids’ lives.
For example, I’m still thinking through David’s adjustment to life in NM. It seemed life was fine. But some of his responses to life lately seem not typical of him. So I’ve slowed down to consider his needs. I think using the music/ light in the morning was a God-given insight from my husband. I’ve used music before for David, but not in this context.
Yesterday, a conversation with David revealed what may be more insight into his recent behavior. As we sat at lunch, David commented that we three made a triangle. Sure enough, if you connected our plates with imaginary lines, you’d see a triangle. I asked what would happen if somebody sat at the empty side of the table, and he said instantly, “That would be a diamond.” In a few seconds he added, “If we put plates here and here and here and here [indicating the four corners of the table], we would have a square.” Now, our kids’ grandparents think they’re geniuses, but I’ve never thought of them as anything but bright kids developing along a normal curve (and so they have). But this comment floored me, and gave me the thought that perhaps that little brain of his is asking for more.
So now I’m thinking through what I can do to keep his brain busy. Last night, I grew thankful as I thought about our conversation and how it helped me to consider another reason for his behavior that I might not have thought of. I wonder if I can help him speed up his “putting away toys” behavior by activating more of his brain. (so far, seeing how fast we can go hasn’t cut it)
Wisdom is what we need more than anything else. It is more precious than all the riches you could ask for, more precious than a large house, more precious than a bounty of toys, more precious than all the child-rearing books by godly people you can collect. May I be searching for wisdom today, on my knees in humility, knowing that I cannot rear my children as I ought apart from God’s mercy and grace.
Michelle, to me this shows such growth and sanctification in your life over this past year. He’s making you more rooted and grounded in Him and I think it’s awesome that He brought this to mind today to show you the growth in your life. 🙂 Glory to God!
Thanks for the encouragement, Kelly. Perhaps you are right. I don’t really know if I’m making wisdom more narrow than the Bible, or if there’s God given insight (like the example in the original post) that should be called something else, or what. Guess that’s the thrill of the search.
Barbara H. says
I think there is something, perhaps what you’ve called God-given insight, that’s not exactly Biblically based wisdom in the sense that you can’t find chapter and verse for it. I think of the Proverbs 31 woman having the “savvy” to recognize a good field and purchase it, who “knows that her merchandise is good,” etc. I think there is something to knowing each child’s personality and learning what best reaches each child in the way of discipline, teaching, and character development. I think God helps give direction in those areas — I know He does: often He has led me to just the right source or the right person with a bit of insight to share in those kinds of areas at just the right time. And I think a lot of that kind of wisdom or insight can be developed with experience.
Barbara, You may be right. Look at the story of Solomon with the mothers fighting over the baby. Where do you think that example fits?